a problem of a friend

[Bitter_Blasphemy]

my friend asked me to post this-

 

hi ive recently become involved in a relationship with a really great guy, well sometimes hes a great guy but other times like now i question how awesome he really is. I just dont know if he really appreciates how good i am to him and when i confront him about it and ask if he really does love me and cares about me he always tells me i shouldnt have to question it because i should know he does, i just keep trying to do everything right but at the same time i dont feel im getting my needed time because its sucked up by him working or being with his friends, he tells me he loves me every night before we say goodnite and he always says it first but i dont know what to think... help me please... signed confused in CT

[toonsy]

How long have you been dating?

How old are you and he?

How did you 2 meet?

[Bitter_Blasphemy]

weve been dating 2 months

 

hes 21 and im 17

 

we met online two years ago and talk on the phone occationally

[lady00]

Tell your friend that if she wants him to spend more time with her, she has to show it, not say it. She should suggest more dates and get-togethers and see how that goes. Sounds like he's really into her but just has a lot of other things going on in his life. That's fine but he also has to make time for her...there needs to be a balance where they both feel they're spending as much time as they want to with each other. She should suggest more outings together with him and also try to focus on hanging out with her friends etc, things she can do without him that she will enjoy and try to do more of those things. It's all about balancing time with her bf vs. time with other people/things so that she feels satisfied. But if she wants things to change, she's got to show by example...that means saying suggesting they hang out more, not just in the abstract but actually asking him to go to specific things that she thinks they would both enjoy.

 

Instead of saying stuff like "you don't spend enough time with me" (I don't know if she says this, just giving an example) she should say "I'd love to spend more time together...let's go to _____".