Girl has turned cold over the last 5 days?

[tojusthavefun1976]

Well I've been dating this girl for almost 2 months now.. The relationship has moving somewhat slow but is going fast enough to keep me interested. We have gone on many dates, hung out at her place and she has been to mine. She introduced me to her son. Things have been going good.. But now over the last 5 days or so she has turned cold towards me... I was use to seeing her 2 nights a week and talking on the phone 2 nights.... A few emails during the week.. Nothing that seems overwhelming to me.. Well this week.. No e-mails no dates and one call for about 15 minutes.. The call consisted of a quick version of what we have been doing this week. She said she couldn't do anything this week and that she has just been really busy? I was thinking busy doing what??? She told me she was going out Saturday with friends from work.. She didn't really invite me? she left it open ended??? At the end of the call she said she would give me a call. That was a few days ago and I have herd nothing from her. It's almost like she doesn't want me to call her and she wants to call me when she has time or something.. Do you think this is her way of ending it? Or maybe she just needs some space/time to herself. If I don't hear from her by next Wednesday or so should I call her? I don't know what to do? I would like to get some sort of closure if she is just not interested. I know it's been only a week and maybe I'm just overreacting? I just know things are different and I just don't know why?

[SexySadie7]

Yeah.. if you are having intuition something isn't right .. i'd ask what is going on.. Better to find out now than have her hanging you out for weeks and weeks... I had a guy do this to me... just string me along... He never said not to call him anymore and he pretty much quit calling me after an intense 2 months...

That's just rude and not right.

Maybe she's got work concerns.. anyway. if she's friend with you.. she can confide this in you....

Closure is definitely a good thing.

Good luck.. let us know what happens.

[tojusthavefun1976]

See one thing that is different is she has a son? I think he takes allot of her time... Plus she has friends.. Nights that she was spending with me probably would have been spend with them.. Maybe her friends are giving her some heat? Another thing is our ratio of calls is 1 to 3.. Meaning she call one time for every 3 I call.. She always returns my calls.. Basically I need to know if she is just playing hard to get late in the game? Does she really want me to call? Another thing is she may be thinking I am just hanging around until something else better comes along.. She has said 2 or 3 times that "I don't know what you see in me" Maybe she doesn't want to get heart.

[loveydovey]

I would say just outright ask her if something is wrong. And then go off of that. At least that way, you won't be playing the guessing game.

[patience]

I suggest that you call her and talk with her about your concerns...before you drive yourself crazy.

 

Ask to meet with her for lunch or coffee, something "light", and have a face to face conversation with her about all of this.

 

If she doesn't want to get together, or claims to be 'too busy', then I'd take the hint...but don't make any assumptions until you've actually talked with her.

 

Good luck! Keep us posted!

[DropToZero]

I dont know how serious you two are...but more than likely...means she really IS busy and you're calling way too often...3:1 ratio is a little bit much. Either that, or in my experience...she's dating another guy alongside you. Like said tho, I don't know how serious you two are...but if you aren't...I wouldn't bring it up and act like it's bothering you...unless you want it to end.

[tojusthavefun1976]

You think I'm calling too much? So If I see her on Saturday then again Tuesday... Talk to her on the phone Sunday night then again on Thursday... You think that is really too much? I've had girls that wanted me to call every night! and that drove me crazy.. Maybe I should just back off a bit? I mean its not like we just met. I think the son has alot to do with it to.

[patience]

It's not too much at all. It's been two months afterall.

 

You have to ask yourself, is this the kind of relationship you want?

[heloladies21]

Don't call her, it's her call to make. She's probably flaking out on you. Keep your options open and talk to other chicks. Don't put your life on hold while she's sitting there trying to make up her mind without volunteering an explanation to you.

[Mr. Cactus]

In my opinion, if she really still had a thing for you, the ratio of calls or the number of calls would not matter. Whever I have had feelings for another person, they honestly could never call me too much. The last person I had feelings for I remember telling her she could ring me as many times a day as she liked and any time of the day or night. I actually think this is fairly normal way of thinking for two people who really do care for each other - at least in the earlier parts of the relationship - and by that I mean even for the first few years or so. Since this relationship is only two months old, I would consider that to be very early on in "serious" relationship terms.

 

Anyway, like a couple of other respondants, I have been there done that two. The person I had barely started to have a relationship with went from boiling hot to cold literally overnight. In hindsight I wish I had managed the situation better. I let it ride for about three weeks before asking her why her behavior had changed. I did not get what I thought was a satisfactory answer so I stopped contact with her for about 7 weeks. At the point I felt strong enough to confront her again. This time I did receive explanations, however they did not withstand logical analysis (this is a polite way of saying she lied to me).

 

If I had my time over again, I can honestly say that I wish that I had permanently ceased all contact from from the moment she changed. To me it is pretty obvious in the original poster's case that this lady is no longer interested. So no, I would not bother trying to contact her. And if she is the type of person who "drops" you like this, I wouldn't bother trying to pursue any sort of reasoning or explanation from her. If she is going to chicken out in this cowardly way, then I don't think she is likely to pour out to you the reasons she has decided to move on.

 

Anyway, it's either that or she has become incredibly busy or some major thing in happening in her life. However, were either of those two the case, then if she was interested in having you around, she most definitely would have found the time to explain by now, whatever it took.

[DropToZero]

You think I'm calling too much? So If I see her on Saturday then again Tuesday... Talk to her on the phone Sunday night then again on Thursday... You think that is really too much? I've had girls that wanted me to call every night! and that drove me crazy.. Maybe I should just back off a bit? I mean its not like we just met. I think the son has alot to do with it to.

 

No, I dont think that's bad. What's bad is the amount that she's calling you compared to how much you're calling her in my mind. See like I said, I don't know how serious you are, but with me recently I was(am) dating/messing around with this girl, and at the beginning when we first started, she was calling me like every other day...and I wouldn't even have to call back. She would leave messages just saying Hi and stuff and seeing what I'd been up to, hoping that we would go out or get together some time. She even said she felt like she was smothering me, and I even agreed with her. Anyways, we both seemed to agree that this wasn't supposed to be serious, yet she was calling me really often, and it was starting to get a little bit annoying. It was more like her actions weren't defining her words...and she backed off a bit finally...so I like it the way it is now. I mean, her and I are fine, and I rarely call her...like once a week maybe...but again, I don't know how serious you two are, I might be calling more often if this pursued into something more serious myself.

 

It's up to you tho, you can call...it's just in my experience again, when all my attention seems to disappear....it's had to do with another guy...doesn't mean I've been dropped...it just means I'm not on her mind like 24/7 like it used to be....in the end...it was more or less what I wanted.