No reason for mistrust and yet.....

[Jet18bee]

I have been with my boyfriend for a year and a half. We have a 4 month old daughter. I met my boyfriend at work. Eventually working together came to be a problem with management and co-workers, so I quit to be with him.

After having worked with him, I know how he is around the other girls that work there and most of the time he flirts with them; whether he means to or not, it just kind of his personality. That is what drew me to him to begin with and no has become a big problem.

 

I am a Very insercure and overly sensitive individual, especially after having a baby and not looking quite the same way as I used to, also not having much time or energy to fix myself up everyday (i'm usually in a t-shirt and shorts) I had brought up the fact that I don't like it when he flirts with other girls at work in the beginning of our relationship and it caused a huge argument and him denying that he flirts. After I quit I never saw it so I never said anything, but it's always been in the back of my mind and growing. I will do things check his voicemail and call list on his cell phone, check his e-mail and look through his things (all without him knowing) looking for signs of him cheating. I always come up with nothing.

 

Recently we went to the we had gone up to his job, while we were talking to a mutual friend I notice two girls a few feet away giggling and looking at my boyfriend when one of them nudged the other to go over to him. She proceed to walk up to him and gave him a little hug and was kind of hagging on his arm and talking with her friend and giggling. I am a VERY jealous person and this is unexceptable to me so on the way home I brought it up to him. He said that it wasn't his fault she was hanging on him and I told him if he would stop flirting with them this wouldn't have happened. And claims he doesn't flirt and he's sorry if thats how the are taking it. I also asked if this goes on a lot (I mean if this happens right in front of me, what goes on when I'm not around?) This resulted in a HUGE argument. Am I over reacting to this situation?

 

Bottem line is I guess I don't trust him but I don't really have any reason not to. I know he has never cheated on me, I don't think he would do something like that and yet I see infedelity everywhere, friends, family, media and it almost seems enevidable.

He is great to be around and he is the sweetest guy I know and I know he loves me. We have just started a family together and I know he is happy. Honestly we don't really argue about this a lot it's always on my mind and it's driving my crazy. I need some advice!!!

[7CardStud]

I'm in the same boat, but switch the gender roles... haha... PLEASE HELP hehe ^_^

[stolenshadow]

Hi, the reaction of those girls to your boyfriend is quite strange, it makes one think he did flirt and "allow" them to act like school girls when you were around, he should have said something too, but, let's try something else.

 

Spying on him is lack of trust, if you want to trust him then stop, you must respect him and believe what he says, I think it wouldn't hurt to try a change in you, how you dress, look, etc. And improve the image you have of yourself, if you need more free time ask him to help with the baby, if you feel better about yourself you'll feel less jealous and he'll notice that making him feel better with you.

 

If it's all fights he will end up breaking up the relationship or cheating for real.

 

So far you said you found no proof of him doing anything wrong, then change your perspective, but if after a while of not bringing the subject up and everything you still suspect something is going on then talk to him, without screaming or insults, a friendly talk, and if you see you really can't trust then it might be time to reconsider if you want to be in that relationship, you don't deserve to feel bad, whatever his personality is like.

Best Wishes.