I'm so worried about this!!:-(

[icantbelieveimdoingthis]

I had been fingered by a guy once (over clothes) before last night..and I wasn't expecting to have trouble orgasming because the guy who fingered me last night had lots of experience with it. But I'm really worried because I couldn't have an orgasm...and I guess I wasn't communicating really well because he was putting his fingers in me really hard, and it kinda felt good but then it just got painful...and he didn't pay any attention to my clit, but when he did it was really hard pressure..OW. And I was feeling really upset because this is the only the second time we've hooked up so I felt like a whore....and I started getting progressively more upset because I think he took it very personally that he couldn't get me to orgasm and stuff, so he kept trying, and I started getting a little frustrated with myself and that is just no way to have an orgasm. So okay my questions are...**Has this ever happened to anyone else? Should I be worried about this...? and...if it's possible...how do you fake an orgasm? Does it actually fool guys if you really need to do it to save their feelings? But I don't want to just fake it because I want to feel good too...Guys: would you be offended if a girl kept correcting you on what you were doing to try to get it right? ...OK sorry that was so long. I'd really appreciate feedback...thank you SO MUCH.

[RyanWhite]

I am 24, and I hate, women who fake something. Not all guys are like me, but I prefer a female who knows what she wants, if i am eating her out too hard, then I want to know. If I am touching her clit too much I want to know... Same goes for her to me, I will tell her whats bad, and moan gently if I like how she is pleasuring me.

 

Usually women arent screamers, so you can tell if they are faking cause they scream out of control, however this is not always the case, as recently i have been with a girl whose orgasms make her shudder uncontrolably and she screams in what could be mistaken for a rape.

 

Please try not to fake, just talk, communication can solve most frustrations. Not everyone can orgasm the first few times or being fingered ever.

[Jinx]

First and foremost, faking will accomplish nada. Period.

 

Secondly onto the topic at hand. If he has so much experience at that, why did he seem to be clueless where to touch, pressure, etc... You know this may relate to the top. Maybe he has never accomplished much and had others faking so he thinks this is the way it goes.

 

As for frustration, you both need to relax and take time. If it doesn't work once, twice, so forth just keep trying to work at it. The best way to handle this situation would be instead of saying - Don't put so much pressure, Don't do this or that. Instead say - I like it when you are gentle here, stroke lightly here, etc... It would be better to say what you like and how you like it. The light bulb usually clicks in (or should anyways) that you would much prefer it this or that way, and he should be happy to go with your request because it would be what pleases him.

 

Also, it works the same for where to touch, when lost, lead him. It won't kill to take a guy's hand and guide along for a bit until he gets the hang of it, or to gently redirect. He may have it in his head from somewhere that rough and hard is the only way. You need to teach him about being gentle, relaxed and enjoying it. Thats the only way you'll get success. Just like I say, don't fake. He'll find out eventually and you'll never hear the end of it then or you'll get nothing from then on.

[loveydovey]

Well, this may be a little silly, but it always works for me. When a guy has his finger on me or starts sucking a nipple and it gets to be too much or unenjoyable, in the middle of my moaning (which is real by the way), I'll say "Ouch" or "Oweee" very softly and normally he'll ease up. No need for me to endure something that doesn't feel good or for him to just continue doing whatever he's doing and sitting there wondering why I'm not getting off. 8) HTH!

[icantbelieveimdoingthis]

Thanks so much for all of your input! I'll try to be more assertive next time with him and tell him what I like...because he was very intent on pleasing me and I think was puzzled that I didn't have an orgasm. hahaha. Thanks again!