The age old question of calling the EX on their B day...

[Zerohero]

The dilima is her B day is coming up in another month right before mine. Now I've been invited and went to her little brothers B day parties etc. But I've stayed away and keep with the NC for quit a while now. I think it's been 4 months or so.

 

Her mom made this comment while I was at the last B day party and said "Is the only time I'm going to see you on someones B day?" I just smiled cause I was thinking probably so.

 

Anyway, we havent talked other than one time. I called and spoke with her and we had the cheap "chit chat" conversation which spawn into really nothing more than a 5 min chat. So as of right now I'm set on not going. I feel as though I'd be making the right desision unless she invites me HERSELF( I was invited by her mother and brother to the other parties).

 

So what do you guys think?

[ComputerGuy]

You've stayed away this long, and you've obviously come a long way since when you first broke up. However it doesn't sound like you are completely healed or there wouldn't be any contemplation here. I say don't go...why risk the last 4 months work at getting over her?

[Zerohero]

That is true. Thanks for validating my thoughts. If she contacts me though, what are your opinions on that?

[ComputerGuy]

Just say to her politely - "Thanx for the offer but I don't think that I'll be able to make it, sorry" Just keep it light, and treat her the same way as you would treat an aquaintence.

[Zerohero]

Alright,

 

 

Thanks for the quick response to my thread!

 

Going to her B day would just bring up old feelings and probably bother me so it is best I should not go. Now that I think about it, I should not have went to her little brothers parties either.

[ComputerGuy]

True, as rude as you may feel, you don't have any obligation to attend her family functions if you don't want to. If it feels like it's going to dredge up old feelings, write the event off there and then...no point putting yourself for someone you are no longer with...much less their parents/relatives.

[Zerohero]

True, as rude as you may feel, you don't have any obligation to attend her family functions if you don't want to. If it feels like it's going to dredge up old feelings, write the event off there and then...no point putting yourself for someone you are no longer with...much less their parents/relatives.

 

You know, that really makes sense. It just took someone to bring it up to my face. I have no idea why I feel obligated sometimes to go to her family events etc.

 

I do however have a good relationship with her brother. We workout together etc. Maybe thats why I sometimes feel the need to go.

 

Thanks again and I'll be looking forward to talking to you in the future.

[Vert]

ZeroHero, I just had my birthday last week, and at the time I'd been broken up from my ex-gf for about 2 months. My friends threw a surprise party for me, and she showed up even though they purposely left her off the guest list (she had it out verbally with this other friend of mine that organized it). Like you, I felt that it was rude that she was left off the list intentionally, but at the same time I wish she wouldn't have been there. Sometimes you just need to understand that you can't be friends if you still have feelings for each other.

[misery12]

Agreed.

You might also need some motivation to stay home, and as ComputerGuy and Vert have said, why risk the chance of all your hard work leading up to this point, to be lost?

[Zerohero]

Agreed.

You might also need some motivation to stay home, and as ComputerGuy and Vert have said, why risk the chance of all your hard work leading up to this point, to be lost?

 

I just needed to make sure my choice in staying home was accepted amongst other people idea's. I just had a revolutionary talk with my aunt the other day and I no longer feel as bad anymore about the whole thing I actually feel more focused again.