friend's husband in iraq

[shorty20]

ok, so my best friend is married to a guy that is in the Army. They got married this past february, and he left 3 days after for Iraq. She was so sad at first, and I was there for her. I would spend all of the time I could with her, just talking to her and letting her know that I was there, that I care about her, and that everything would be ok until he got home again, and just tried to keep her mind off of him as much as possible. We got so close, and would spend hours on her roof, just talking, sometimes she'd cry, sometimes i'd cry with her, but the fact is that we were there for each other, and I did what I could to help her. Now, her husband came home on leave for 13 days, and now has left again, leaving her in an even more emotional state than she was last time. I try to be there for her, talk to her, but she's just so sad, and depressed that he had to leave again. I don't know how to make her feel better. Don't know what I Can do, as her best friend, to help her get through this time. I tell her that february (when he comes home) will come faster than she knows it, but she just gets mad at me, telling me that I don't understand. If I"m with her, and I'm on the phone with the guy I'm seeing who lives three hours away, and I tell him I miss him, she freaks out and tells me I don't know what missing someone means... I just don't really know what to do anymore.. nothing I do, or say is good enough, it just gets her more upset.... any suggestions? She's my best friend... i dont want to give up on her... i just want to make things better so we can be close again. thanx guys.

[Ms Omaniac]

she is extremely frustrated and hurt. and sometimes people take out their anger on the ones closest to them. try try TRY to not take this personally.

 

you are doing a world of good for her whether you realize it or not. the fact you keep listening to her shows you care about her. it sounds like she needs you to vent and to use you as a sounding board to her problems.

 

during this time...i suggest keep doing what youre doing and to try and not let her personal comments hurt you. i know that is easier said than done but it does make you appear to be a very understanding person.

 

- ivy

[Hope75]

Ivy has some good points, Your friend is not mad at you, she's just frightened for her husband and frustrated that they can't be together right now. Iraq is a very scary place right now and she's probably terrified something will happen to him.

 

As Ivy said, try not to take her comments personally, she's just lashing out at the person she feels most comfortable with, you.

 

She really does need you right now. Try to listen to what she has to say and tell her that you are there for her, and maybe hold off on the "It's not so far away" comments for now. You are only trying to help, and she is lucky to have you.

 

Sometimes just a simple hug and no words are the best thing.

 

Good luck.

[loveydovey]

I third what the others have said. I was in a similar situation, with my best friend last year and she was a wreck over her fiance in Afganistan. But just try to let those types of comments roll off your back (as hard as that may be). It will get better and like Ms Omaniac and Hope said, it's her hurt, anger, frustration, and lonliness speaking. HTH!