1 Year 1 month and it all crumbles? What did I do?

[Supaman]

Now I ussually would not post a problem on the internet because im not a huge fan of getting help from anywhere, I like to go my own ways and make myself get over things. But for once I need help and I have no friends that will help me because they will just blow it off and laugh at me. So I am hoping you guys can help me without being disrespectful to my feelings.

 

Now I have been dating a girl (We will call her V) for One year and one month. Our relationship before then as she put it was perfect. I thought it was perfect aswell. But I guess it has since our last anniversary (the 5th) gone down hill really fast, and I dont know why.

 

V wrote me a really long note (Because she could not say it or should would have started crying) stating that her whole Highschool Career (Shes a sophmore right now) She has not been single, and that she wants to know what other guys are out there.

 

I am a Senior and yes I understad her. I also want her to know exactly who she wants cause I want her to be happy. My feelings I could care less about aslong as she is happy. But the thing is I do not want to let her go, because I am afraid she wont come back.

 

This has happened to me before in late middle school early High School. I was dating a girl for 3 years off and on (Ive never had a short relationship) and at the end of that 3 years she decided she wanted to try dating someone else and if it didnt work out she would come back to me....Well That did not work out cause she found someone else and thats how I lost my first love. But im over that.

 

I am so downed about her telling me that she wants to see other people that I first could not even respond (She still does not know my feelings) and second and worst of all I did not go to school and left her by herself there.

 

I know that was wrong and that is also making me feel like crap, but I could not go to school so messed up. Plus I offered her tos tay at home as well and I would just take her back but she said no.

 

My mother also told me two things that stuck today when I told her. The first was Hope for the best, and prepare for the worst. Right now I am doing that, I do not want to lose V. The second thing was "There are more fish in the sea." That some what bothered me I guess because I am not ready to catch another fish. I want to stick with the one I have.

 

There is one more thing I wanted to state that V said. She said "Like the saying goes..."Nothing lasts forever" Right?" That really bothered me cause I wanted this relationship to last forever, and I am so afraid now that its not that I dont know what im going to do. I dont want another girlfriend, I dont even want to think about having a different girlfriend. Ive spent my entire Junior year and so far the beginning of my senior year dating her, and I do not want to go into college without her.

 

I guess the question is Should I try to fight it and keep her? Or should I let her go ahead and try dating someone else and like my mom said Hope for the best?

[djedix]

You are young, and i know you don't want to let go.. but i think the best thing to do in this scenerio is to let go.

 

If you really care about this girl, and even love her, you should let her go, because she's no longer happy with just being in a relationship. As hard as it is to do.... It's not you. It's nothing to do with the way you treated her. Don't blame yourself, or anything you've done to her, on yourself. She's growing up, and so are you.

 

Letting go will have her go out there, and see other guys, get hurt, be happy.. It hurts you yes, because you can't do this for her anymore... but you too should do the same thing. Go out with other people, experience life! don't think that love is what the movies make it out to be, we're all not going to meet someone and be like omg we're togeather for ever! and get married and stuff... If you really love this girl, you will let her go, and let her be happy.

 

The more you try to struggle, and keep the relationship alive, the more conflict will arise, the more unhappy you both will come, the more you will worry about it. If you go out and start new relationships, You will begin to learn alot about yourself.

 

I mean look at me, i had a fiancee leave me Never looked back, and no contact for 6+ months. Then I got a g/f now who got unhappy, played very imature games with me, causing me to break up with her... and is now seeing one of my who i thought was a good friend. I'm pissed, and im upset, but i go on, because I know somewhere out there, is that happyness we all want. and we will find it, eventually.

[jevonj77]

hay...you don't love her if you don't let her go...she is not and never was your possetion...

 

the only reason you two should be together is if both of you love each other...the other one would be if you two were married...

 

you did nothing wrong it is just that she seems to have been thinking this all along and now most likely you won't be there for her since you are a senior and most likely will be graduating and going off to college...

 

Believe me, there are a ton of women at college... give her a chance...

 

she will hate you in the long run for not letting her do this...so either way you lose...

 

fight it a little...it may be a test just to see if you will still keep her once you have left...but I am guessing that she's been thinking this for some time and has already made up her mind on it and is just now strong enough to tell you about it and is trying to be nice about it as not to hurt any feelings....

 

the other thing is that in the next relationship...you should make sure that periodically you know where it is heading...so that you don't get a surprise awakening...

[Supaman]

Ok I respect both of your comments, but this is definitly why I do not like doing this lets start with this...

 

hay...you don't love her if you don't let her go

 

I dont love her if I dont let her go? So your stating, Since I love her so much and would do anything to keep her, I should still let her go? Well good thing I didnt, I told her this today

 

"Look I love you...I love you more then any guy anywhere ever will. I will always love you and I will not mind if you do leave me but I promise you I will not look, flirt, touch, Do anything to another girl until I know you are completely gone." I also said a bunch more lovey stuff but im not going into that.

 

Well Now I know she is going to stay with me and she realized today that she loved me more then she thought. Aswell as she realized I loved her more then she was thinking...So since I did not "Give up" and let her go. I get to keep the love of my life.

 

Oh and about the I am young, and we both need to date others.

 

Everyone is different, and some people just get lucky sometimes and hit that one special someone in their life and do not need anyone else.

 

Now that all that is stated, I really do appreciate you guys trying to help, I do, Dont think im mad or anything. Im glad someone responded, I was just giving an update, and also stating why the internet kind of help never really works for me. But thanks again for responding.