My little Puberty problem... *EDIT* Great News!

[RobustMouse]

Hello everyone, I have yet something deeply troubling me. I don't know if I'm posting in the right board, if I am please forgive me. Womenly topic.

 

When I started puberty at age eleven, thats when I my breasts began to devlope. I was normal for awhile, but now six years later at the age of 17, I have been cursed with being somewhere between a DDD and an E cup.

 

I can't say I'm someone is suffers with horrible back pain. I do get back pain, quite frequently a strong ache in my upper back. I have grooves where my bra grasps around me.

 

 

 

I'm into drama, and when your in drama, it's best that you have a small figure, and a A cup sized breats-something I will never in my life have. I am slightly over weight, but not that much. I am strongly held that the reason I have never been chosen is because of that fact that my breasts are large.

 

I'm terribly embarrassed by them. I despertly try to keep myslef constrained and make myself look as small as possible, but it's hard when your E cup to make yourself look any smaller then a DDD...I'm not the largest in my school, theirs a few girls ahead of me, something I'm ashamed to admit that I'm thankful for.

 

They never bothered me before until recently....when I went to the doctor, and he told me that I NEEDED sugary. I thought I was normal, but I'm not. I have many signs that I'm waaay over devloped.

 

I cry about it often, I have immense trouble sitting up straight with good posture. I've been sexualy touched because of how large I am.

 

I don't know what to do anymore. My mother and I are despertly trying to get insurance to approve for me to be able to get surgary. But, school is starting soon, and sadly, If I come back one day from a gigantic E cup to a normal B....everyone is going to know.

 

I'm so embarrrassed by this that there are times I've thought about hurting myself. I'm so desperate to become small I've hold off on joining any kind of physucal activity until someone makes me normal.

 

...There isn't a day that goes by that I wish I wasn't someone else. I can't find clothes that look good on me, and along with that I'm stuck with wearing bras that don't even fit, because no one sells triple D's or E cups... What I have to wear, mostly sports tops made for 'large' women, meaning bras that are DD and below, feel so constrivtive that I can't breathe.

 

I am always angry, angry because my mom...I dont know why I blame her, probably because she was the one who cursed me. Shes 37 years older then me, also my mother, and shes three times smaller then me. It's absurd and disgusting, that I can't even fit into my own mother's bras. I'm so grossed out by my body.

 

... Again I apologize. I don't know how to handle it anymore.I just don't, I can't deal with it anymore. I'm crying as I type this, Gym class was horrible, thank goodness it's over with.

 

 

 

*EDIT* Yesterday, I just found out that after five months of fighting for it my insurance company has approved me for getting a reduction!!!!! I have so much relief! We are going to try and schedule it for November during the first break.

[ComputerGuy]

It's actually quite normal and not a vanity thing to get a breast reduction when your breasts are causing these problems. I don't know what the deal would be for you given your still developing, but a trip to the GP and referral to a plastic surgeon might be the way to go.

 

It's nothing to be ashamed of...it's no different to having any other problem that's causing you pain. Also, people may judge you badly if you do get surgery, but look on the bright side of things, it will separate your real friends from the people you could do without. Besides, at your age, a lot of people are starting to move on from immature things like that, so it may not be as bad of a problem as you'd think. Maybe explain the situation to your close friends before you go ahead with any surgical options if you feel comfortable doing so...that way there won't be the "OMG they shrunk" shock factor.

[kskm]

Another thing that you may want to think about is Probono work that plastic surgerons do. (Meaning a free surgery if you meet the requirements, usually you write a letter to them telling them why you desperately need the surgery, and mention the fact that you can't pay for it)

 

You shouldn't be so down on yourself though. I know that it's hard when you are comparing yourself to everyone- my best friend went through the same thing that you are going through. And she is actually having the breast reduction surgery in a month. She waited until she was out of high school to do it though, to make sure that she was done developing.

 

Don't compare yourself to everyone. That's what she had to learn to stop doing... think about your best qualities and let them shine through.

[smallworld]

*Hugs* Vaxil. That's difficult. I wouldn't worry about what the others think. Yes the surgery will make a dramatic difference, but you're doing it for all the right reasons and most importantly you'll finally feel at ease with your body. If anyone asks, tell them the "truth." You tried that Jenny Craig thing and lost a few pounds over night.

 

As a dear but nutty friend is always saying to me, "Who wants to be normal???" Life's ironic. Some girls would commit a felony for what you have. It makes me sad to hear you think about harming yourself for what amounts to a few extra pounds on your body that won't always be there. No matter what size you are, you're wonderful as is and you have to remind yourself you are NOT your body. Your body is merely the container that holds the "orchid" of your mind, your heart, and your soul. So why place more importance on the container than the flower?

 

As for exercise, try walking. It's cheap, easy, and fun (with an ipod, cd player, or walkman.) I get in several hours of sun every day as a natural anti-depressant and it's helped me lose a few pounds. If you feel out of place, try walking really early in the morning before everyone else gets up. Take care!

[Lexicon85]

A few people got breat reductions when I was in high school. No one thought anything of it. I know you think people will judge you, but they probably won't.