help me!! friend becoming closer?

[confused987]

i have a friend who i've known for a year, but we really started getting closer as friends in the past 7 weeks.

 

first of all, he's 26 and has a girlfriend. i've met her, she's extremely nice and wonderful, and they seem great together.

 

in the past, maybe, 3 weeks, we've really gotten closer. he told me about his past and i told him a lot of things about myself... we just really hit it off.

 

this past week we spent together because of a program that we're both apart of.. im a student of the program and he's a staff member (he's teh 2nd oldest staff member, but he acts and looks like he could be my age, not that that makes a big difference).. it was us and like 30 other people, and about 1/3 of the trip was spent on the bus, and we were together, always talking and laughing and hanging out.

 

tuesday, the whole program went out to a dinner theater, and we dressed up and it was a nice place; very official and very fancy, so it was taken seriously by the program directors... we were about to get off the bus when everyone was asked to grab a partner (not necessarily couples, either-- a lot of guys picked their friends and most of my girlfriends were paired with each other) and he took my hand and asked i would "be his date for the night."

 

i said yes, and i had the most wonderful time of my life! he walked me inside, pulled my chair out for me, and when time came to get our appetizers (the restaurant was a buffet-ish style) he asked when i would want to go up, and when it was time for dinner, he waited for me to finish... when i stood up for the bathroom, he stood up like a gentleman and.. everything was perfect! come time for dessert, we went to grab a bowl of ice cream (which you could indulge with your personal toppings) he asked if i wanted to share one. i was kind of shy ( ), so i gave him the option, and he decided that i would be more comfortable with our own bowls..

 

the play started, and he put his arm around me.. every little while, he would switch from that to putting his hand on mine, or grabbing my hand and just.. little things to show contact, ya know?

 

wednesday, the program took us shopping for the day, and besides the little things i've mentioned before, he also gave me a mini-massage at lunch (we shared a meal) because my neck was cramped, and he was always asking what i wanted to do.

 

then he tried to kiss me. he leaned down, but the first thing i thought about was his girlfriend, so i slightly moved my head and he caught my cheek. he asked me why, and i told him that i didnt expect it (and later, on the bus on the way back to the place where the program was staying, i explained it was because he had a girlfriend). he was a little angry that i didnt tell him that in the beginning, even though it should have been pretty obvious, so before he walked off, he told me he was going to call his girlfriend.

 

that hurt me. instead of hanging out in the lounge that night, i went straight to bed, and my room mate was there and she comforted me while i was crying.. i couldn't understand why i was crying!!

 

thursday, everyone woke up, went to breakfast, and then packed up to leave. we all got on the bus, and its about a 3 hour drive, so i was sittnig by myself for about an hour, when it was announced over the bus intercom that he was sorry for hurting my feelings, and that he hopes i can forgive me.

 

20 minutes later, he came back to talk to me, and explained that he was an idiot. he didnt know why he did what he did, and that he was truly sorry for hurting me. he also said that he didnt know why he would want to ruin what he had with his girlfriend.

 

this hurt me a lot. the thing is-- he is still flirting with me. he still tells me that i have beautiful eyes, and that im very attractive, and that my previous boyfriends are stupid for ever ending our relationships.

 

there's always an awkward silence when we finish talking about something,a nd we both sort of look away..

 

WHAT THE FLIP IS GOING ON? I still have feelings for him, and i think he still has some for me...

 

i wont see him until September 1st, then i'll see him again, about 2 times a week, after October 10th.

 

help! does he still have feelings for me, and is trying to supress them because he feels guilty about his girlfriend, or what? just please, tell me something!

[AlwaysNeedHelp]

hi

 

well i have an opinion here.. you are trying to solve his problem and try to know his feelings while u didnt even solve yours..

 

first identify whether u truly like him or not.. if u dont like him, then try to let him stop acting this way..

 

but if u like him and want him to be with u,

then u have to know his feelings at this point.. if he likes u.. you be honest with him and tell him about his girlfirend.. if he dont like u ..

 

i would just advice u to get away of this guy bec he just wants to play.. good luck..

[Shidoshi]

Interesting. Well first thing I noticed was that you're 15 and he's 26. I'm pretty sure it's illegal for him to get involved with you. You KNOW he has a gf and yet you still pursue him, why? He tries to escalate things by kissing you and you pull back and remind him of the gf, why? Do you expect him to dump his gf and hook up with you?

 

I don't know the guy, but I'd say he was attempting to "get some" and wasn't successful. A 26 y/o guy who goes after a 15 y/o girl is most likely looking for sex. You are in no way ready mentally/emotionally to get involved with someone his age. You said you met his gf and she was nice and everything, how do you think she would feel knowing you're totally disregarding her feelings by willingly going after her bf? You seriously need to forget about him and look for guys who are closer to your age.

[Lexicon85]

This guys an a-hole. You'll realize this once you get some distance and get a little older. This guy isn't just an a-hole for wanting to cheat on his girlfriend but for trying with a fifteen year old.

[Meow18]

Are you sure you don't just like the attention? You won't let him kiss you and you feel weird about it because he has a girlfriend, but yet when he says things like "I'm going to call my girlfriend", it upsets you. You might not realize it, but maybe you just like the attention he gives you? Maybe you like the feeling of being close with him?

 

You seriously have to stop thinking about this guy. Not only is he way too old, but he has a girlfriend. You met her, you like her, why help him disrespect what they have?

 

He's not going to dump his girlfriend for you. If he really liked you that much, he would have done it already. This guy is bad news. He's just taking advantage of you. Beware of the guys who have girlfriends, yet also flirt and try to kiss other girls. Even if you did get into a relationship with this guy, what would stop him from doing the same thing behind your back?

 

There are plenty of better guys, who actually deserve girlfriends. Don't let yourself fall for this guy. You will just end up heart broken. Do yourself a favor, and next time you see him, don't let him pull this stuff on you. Do what is best for you.

[1love2k5]

hi. i have this guy friend of mine who i've met just 3 years ago, and since then, we've hit it off and even dated for a little bit. he even (he's wanted this for a long time) at one point wanted to marry me and still today, he still does want me to be his wife, and that i wished i was married to him. but the problem is, now, my best bud is already married, and we still secretly want eachother. we still keep in close contact with eachother as well, and his wife knows that we both constantly call eachother, but doesn't know that we fantasized to marrying eachother. if we ever got married one day, would it really ruin our friendship or would it be the same?