Girlfriend of 4 years left me

[Rearden]

Here's the story. . .

 

I've known laura (not my girlfriend, although important to the story) since preschool, so basically forever. I didn't see her much until High School (our town has different elementary schools based on where you live). I got together with my girlfriend in eighth grade.

 

Everything went along fine until the school musical in my senior year. Keep in mind that my girlfriend is a year younger than I am. Laura and I are both musicians and we played in the pit orchestra for it. My girlfriend was in the production. Because of the way the music is written for the performance, laura and I had to sit next to each other. This was the beginning of the end for my girlfriend and I. Ever since then, she has claimed that laura was in love with me and was trying to steal me away from her. She yelled and got mad me for even standing next to laura in the cast picture. It was absolutely insane.

 

Then at my graduation party, I invited both of them (in hindsight, this was a really stupid idea, although on the other hand it is ridiculous that she is dictating who my friends are). My girlfriend spent the entire time in a crappy mood and was just generally unpleasant. Then the best part came. Laura had to leave and now that high school was over and we were all going our separate ways, we might never see each other again. So here comes the unthinkable: I gave her a hug upon her exit. *ALARM BELLS!!!* watch out, matt!.

 

However, a week or two later, my girlfriend assured me that she had let the whole laura thing go. Apparently, she didn't. She said she no longer trusts me because she claims i was flirting with laura while playing in pit orchestra. This of course makes no sense to me. She says we should 'take a break'. Keep in mind that this is a four year plus relationship and i'm only 18 so we have been through a lot. This has happened before. I am sick of getting my heart broken by her so I tell her that this is it. She can dump me, but I am not coming back this time. (she has dumped me 3 times before and I always came back, but i'm sick of getting hurt). She didn't care, she dumped me anyway and yelled at me to get out and threw at me all of the things I had given her over the years. I drove to the park (and by some miracle didn't crash on the way) sat on a swing and cried.

 

It's really strange because things were going great up until the day before. She gave no indication whatsoever of any problems. I think she was apprehensive about me going away to college. She didn't have to take it this far though.

[Maverick32x]

man, i just joined these forums, but that is one sad story my man.... it sounds like the girl didnt seem right for you anyway. Ya know when you date someone for awhile, and you just get used to them being around... when in reality they arent making you happy?

well, maybe you and Laura can hit it off

[Rearden]

but that's just it. Laura and I always were and most likely always will be good friends and nothing more.

[Maverick32x]

hmm.... well if you are heading out to college, let me tell you.. you will meet TONS of people. i dont think you'll have too much trouble dealing with your GF who doesnt sound like that nice of a person to you in the first place. College will be awesome, i promise

[Tsunami]

Ugh, that sounds so difficult. Maybe this has come at the right time for you to go and get into college and meet new people etc, sounds like the relationship was great at the time but, well, if she acted like that about you being friends with someone then i think she might have been looking for a reason to break up with you. I know thats harsh but four years is a long time for teens.

 

I think that it was completely unfair that she reacted like that towards you, i can kinda guess where she is coming from because i get slightly paranoid in relationships but i have never actully voiced it in that way..

 

Break ups are so awful, but you have so much of your life ahead of you, live it

[Rearden]

I feel a bit better today. My friends really helped me out the other day with a night out that i desperatley needed. I was able to take my mind off her for a while. This may seem strange, but there is nothing on earth that would fulfill me more than being in her arms, despite the pain she has caused me. I haven't spoken to her at all since the breakup. I'm going on vacation for a week and hopefully I will feel a little better after that. This is the part that is troubling me, however: I am debating calling her either tomorrow before I leave or when I get back. I don't know why I want to, but I really do. Is this a bad move?

[gstylez07]

I know how you feel, me and my gf have gone our separate ways....its been almost a week, and I would give anything to have her with me again. Its like someone could hand me a million dollars and it still wouldnt please me...all I want is her. I have considered calling her....then I hear all the mean things shes been saying about me and I change my mind.

 

Bottom line, dont call her. At least not now. If she kicked you out then you will only look desperate going back to her, that may push her away even more. If she cares enough, she will eventually call you. Just give her time to figure things out in her head. Thats what I am doing with my ex.