confusedashell Posted July 28, 2005 Share Posted July 28, 2005 Its only been a few days since my wife told me she didnt love me anymore and wanted to end it all. Well, actually, its been a roller coaster of a women who has mentally regressed to the level of a teenager and doesnt know what she wants. I've been desperatly sad for the last three days but I just pulled myself up today and told myself to move on. Im not even interested if she wants to get back together later when shes got the living alone thing out of her system. But I started to make some plans already for when I get back to the UK. I sorted out that my old job is there for me when I get back! My younger (yup! younger!) brother is going to teach me how to drive once and for all. Gave up smoking only today...tough but something I needed to do for awhile now, feeling good about it! Eat better..thats a main plan! And finally do something thats totally NOT me but start to go to a gym and also swim. Not interested to be some He Man but just to get myself a healthier body. I've always been a crisps, beer and video game guy, but I feel now I need to change EVERYTHING in my life. Well prehaps not everything, but a lot of personal habits and try to stay busy and active. Im just looking forward to doing more things with my son and fixing up part of my life thats been on hold for the last four years! what have the rest of you done to help you move on?? Link to comment
Hope75 Posted July 28, 2005 Share Posted July 28, 2005 Sounds like you've got the right idea. Working out really helps alot. When I went through my breakup I hit the treadmill with weights, and lost 18lbs! It helps to take your mind off things and makes your body feel good. Another thing I always suggest is, how about taking a class? Find something you have always found interesting, like photography or cooking. It helps to fill up your extra time, boosts your self esteem and helps you to make new friends. The main thing is to keep yourself busy. The less free time you have, the less time you will be able to dwell on the divorce. Best of luck! Link to comment
PlayBrat Posted July 28, 2005 Share Posted July 28, 2005 Hey Confused..... I am glad you are looking toward the POSITIVE changes of being newly single... It does have it's advantages....although it MAY take you a bit of time to adjust to it. As Hope said, working out and focusing on physical changes is always a plus....and it gets you those admiring looks from the women.... I am big into biking, so I like to hit the trail when I can.I can ride for hours. I also think volunteering is a GREAT way to get through this..because it gives you the chance to focus on those less fortunate than you, and it helpsyou put things in perspective. Maybe volunteer at a homeless shelter for the holidays. I did that one Thanksgiving..and I may do it again this year. Hope these suggestions help Link to comment
confusedashell Posted July 28, 2005 Author Share Posted July 28, 2005 Thanks for the advice and words of enouragement! A class is a great idea! I didnt think about that. I was pretty good at photography at university, would love to get back into that as some kind of hobby! Great idea! Thanks a lot!! Hehe, well getting looks from the ladies is of course a nice thing. I dont think I want to get involved with anyone for at least a year or two, just want to concenrate on ME and my son. I've pretty much being in and out of girlfriends since I was 12 years old..dont know why its been that much but I always seemed to have some girl I was seeing, mostly nothing serious. I think the next time is just for me to focus on somethings like my band (have a band with a few cds out), starting my gym and swimming things, driving (thats a BIG one), staying away from the smokes and of course spending as much time with my son as I possibly can. Link to comment
heloladies21 Posted July 28, 2005 Share Posted July 28, 2005 Friend, you just keep doing everything you're doing and you'll be fine. Trying talking to some other chicks too. Just innocent conversation if that's all you want, but it's necessary to deflect some of the focus your heart is putting on her. Trust me, it'll help more than you think. Link to comment
confusedashell Posted July 28, 2005 Author Share Posted July 28, 2005 I think thats good advice! I didnt think of it like that. I really do not want to get together with anyone else now. A relationship is the last thing on my mind. But just talking could indeed be helpful. at least so I can see a life beyond my wife. Thanks for the words! All very much appreciated! Link to comment
suprema99 Posted July 28, 2005 Share Posted July 28, 2005 hey confused, if the love isn't there one your part, there's nothing you can do. Marriage to this girl was a bad choice. It's takes 2 people in a relationship to make it work. Usually the love ends I think when one person gives up on it. It could be mutual, even better then, right? No need to even think about decisions , but I think it's usually one person's fault. Sounds like by what you wrote, it's your wife on that one. She might be making you smoke more and be unhealthy, who knows. but if the love is gone on your part, there's no sense in it then. goodluck Link to comment
confusedashell Posted July 29, 2005 Author Share Posted July 29, 2005 well I still love her. I was the one who was trying to fix this. But she is the one who says she doesnt love me anymore. And if I'm being honest I'm not even sure that is true. She doesnt know what she wants. But I'm out of there. She has pushed me away and hasn't been interested to fix anything. So bye bye. I aint anyones doormat anymore. heres my story if you're interested link removed Link to comment
suprema99 Posted July 30, 2005 Share Posted July 30, 2005 hey confused, that's good thinking. Try to keep it going, unless it's not worth it anymore to you. goodluck Link to comment
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