The worst part (rant about breaking up)

[catfood]

I broke up with my boyfriend of about a year on Monday night. It was horrible...he was being especially sweet and it was the hardest thing I've ever had to say, to totally kill the mood and ruin both of our nights.

 

But, it was the right thing.

 

Still, it's so hard and I think the worst part is when you have those little moments throughout the day where almost without thinking you go to pick up the phone and call them like you always would, and then it hits you. You aren't together anymore.

 

I know that I need to keep myself busy, but honestly, all I feel like doing when I'm at home is sleeping. I have zero motivation to do things alone. If/when a friend calls, I'm down to hang out, but if it were up to me, I'd be at home sleeping or vegging in front of the tv. Does anyone else go through this?

 

My ex was much more extroverted than me...he was the one who usually came up with the plans for the night. He's the one who's "plugged in" and always knows what's going on.

 

I don't know...I guess this rant is getting pointless. I'm just depressed, lonely, sad, and feel like I'm in a rut. And, my birthday is in less than a week and no one is around to care.

[ehm doubleyou]

You are not alone

 

I feel the same way...for me its just not wanting to be at my place or else I would just either want to go to bed or watch tv....I hate it but its how i feel...I am planning on getting a membershp at the gym even though I really do not need to go (well maybe just a tad) but just so I can get out of the house is what I am needing to do....my suggesting is to join some sort of public gathering whether be it the gym or softball team...art class...anything to get out of the new habbit you are developing...was you ex being sweet to you on monday or did you was he being sweet to you on the day you broke up? ....but I do understand about the habbits one misses that are not there anymore...take care and hang in there

 

mw

[catgirl82]

hang in there. its only been a couple days, so i think its totally normal to feel like sleeping/watching tv all day and not doing much else. you still need to process whats happened, and it really takes a few days for it to become real and for you to get used to it. my recommendation is to just do what you feel like doing for the next few days, you know whats best. after a while though, you should surround yourself with friends and family who will be supportive of you. even though doing stuff like going out, shopping, studying, going to the movies, working, doing chores, etc might be the last thing you want to do, its important to get back into the swing of things and establish a normal routine.

 

i broke up with my serious bf back in december and thats how it went for me. 8 months later, im much much happier and trust me when i say you will be too

[catfood]

Thank you both so much...just knowing that someone out there "gets it" helps a lot.

 

This weekend is going to be especially rough...he's on my coed soccer team and we've got a tournament. We haven't had a game yet since our break up, I wonder if it will be awkward. I doubt it will be too bad, he's very good at giving off a "polished" image. Regardless, it will be weird.

 

Plus my friend bought me some "break up" earrings yesterday...that was so sweet of her.

 

I guess I do have people around that care about me...I'm just really down in the dumps and not making much sense. Thanks to you all!!!

[misery12]

Catfood, you left out a crucial detail.

What's the reason of the break up?

[catfood]

oh gosh, long story, i've posted here about it before. you could look all my posts up if you're interested, but basically there were some pretty big issues we just weren't allowed to talk about and i think it stifled our growth. every time a conflict arose, it was swept under the rug because we couldn't communicate effectively.

 

i even suspect that he might be gay...he never seemed very attracted to me. but of course i couldn't ask about that.

 

so essentially we really care about each other and enjoy each others' company, but i'm looking for more than an occasional companion or date to a dinner party. he wasn't. so that's why....

 

thanks again everyone.

[phishgirl]

catfood, it sounds like you're DEFINITELY ready for someone else who will rock your world. Even the fact you THINK hie's gay (a negative characteristic for you, I believe-for you) proves that you may not just be into him either, no matter how he feels abuot you. and perhaps are ultimately loioking for a guy that will satisty your ultmate "male urges". He may be a great guy, but you MUST find a guy-MAN if you will, that will do so. Someone who is DEFINITELY, beyond a doubt, interested in females, and go with it. You can certainly continue to go out with this guy as friends, but it sounds as if perhaps he wouldn't mind so much your attration to a more MASCULINE male. Please, if you are uncomfortable, find someone else, despite your anxiety. You'll never be happy-and trapped-otherwise. Good Luck!