Is my boyfriend a cheater?

[Thatgirl1607306436]

My boyfriend of 2 years signed up for a page where people have thier own pages with pictures and info etc.

Under status he put single and I read an outgoing e mail to a girl asking her if shes a model! She sent back some slutty message but I was too furious to pretend I didn't know anything so I busted him instead of waiting...is this a major sign?

He said it didn't mean anything but I really don't know..

please offer some advice

[overcorrect]

From a man's point of view I can tell you that it is probably true that it doesn't mean anything. I'm not trying to be arrogant or chauvanistic in that view. I can tell you that it's only a major sign if he continues after getting busted. Most men like their ego stroked (so do women) and sometimes it's interesting to see what kind of reactions you will have on people. The internet is a sterile way of knowing that your looks still attract the opposite sex even though he is not serious about pursuing someone online. I mean, why do people in relationships ever dress nice or go out and flirt? To stroke that ego when you make someone look your way, right? The "single" status just makes it more likely that someone will respond and it doesn't mean that he wants you gone. Also, single refers to marital status, not relationships. Be mad, tell him never do it again, make him accountable, and move on. Hope this helps.

[Thatgirl1607306436]

I hope what you say is true.

But I wonder from a guys POV what is acceptable and what isn't when it comes to flirting?

And, do guys act single when thier girlfriends are not around?

 

Anyone have any comments?

[overcorrect]

Most guys (at least all that I have known) will flirt if the occasion presents itself. I believe that flirting is harmless UNLESS it is acted upon. I don't have any problem with my girl flirting because I know who she's going home with and the ego boost she gets from the attention is heavily rewarded onto me. It's nice to know when you have something that everyone else wants but can't have.

[knightbear]

you go girl........you were right

[CyberPI]

He might be flirting... or he might be cruising. You might consider hiring a PI to find out the difference.

 

I don't want to make this a plug for my agency, but since I've seen the often dismal results of traditional PI work, I'd like to offer you this advice should you decide to go that route:

 

1) Most communications these days take place via email and web postings. Most PIs are from a law enforcement background (mostly retired); and since law enforcement agencies are just beginning to enter the cyber crime arena, many PIs do not possess the technical skills to track messages sent via the Internet.

 

2) Trailing your husband or boyfriend is extraordinarily difficult, and surveillance is expensive and usually non-productive. While trailing and surveillance are appropriate tactics to determine someone's *usual and ordinary* activities, both methods frequently fail when trying to observe a guy who is crusing for women or having a surreptitious liaison with his mistress.

 

There are a few PI firms (like my own) that utilize both live and online decoys to try to engage cheating spouses/boyfriends who are "crusing." These agencies can also track and report to you your spouse's electronic communications, which would be an appropriate service in your particular situation.

 

Please feel free to contact me if I can assist you, or if you would like a referral to an agency that can offer these services.

 

Patrick D. Bryant, CISSP, IAM

Certified Information Systems Security Professional (CISSP)

National Security Agency certified INFOSEC Assessment Methodology (IAM) practitioner

State of California Licensed Investigator # PI23268

 

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