How do I break up with my boyfriend???

[alohagurl]

I've been dating my boyfriend for 3 years, and I'm starting to feel like our relationship is not getting anywhere. I honestly don't feel like I'm in "love" anymore. We live together and right now I'm the only one bringing home steady money. Okay, this is where things start to get ugly.... my boyfriend doesn't have a job or a car....so if I was to leave him how would he pay the bills, how would he get around??? I'm just so worried about "him" that I can't find the ability to leave him!!! What should I do, how am I supposed to leave the relationship without feeling like a total a hole??? PLEASE HELP!

[street dreamer]

JUST TELL HIM HOW YOU FEEL.DONT KEEP LEADING HIM ON HONESTY IS ALWAYS THE BEST POLICY!!!

A THUG CHANGES A LOVE CHANGES AND BEST FRIENDS BECOME STRANGERS

[Vlycero]

heh.... your boyfriend sounds like me... 3 years with my fiance, I dont have a job or a car...she threw me out because she wanted to go out and be with her friends and not have to report to anyone...

 

Also put a restraining order against me because I said I was going to kill myself if she left me, and the police escorted me out of our apartment...now I cant see her for a 1 full year...

 

It sucks.., my life sucks... I miss my fiance very much and cant believe that she didnt want to be with me anymore, but I cant even tell her how sorry I am the way things turned out because she is my best friend and I still want to be able to get in contact with her even if we are not together

[amelie]

Alohagirl,

 

Your boyfriend is not doing HIMSELF any favors by not taking responsibility for his life. Sad, but true. If he doesn't have a car, or a job, that stinks - and I'd imagine you're sympathetic - of course. But that doesn't give him the right to just assume that you will take care of him. By paying his way and bailing him out you are ENABLING him to not fix his life. As long as you are taking care of him, he probably won't get a job. He'll probably just keep letting you do all the work and keep you on the hook by getting you to feel sorry for him.

 

Do your boyfriend a REAL favor (and yourself too) and tell him you're not in love with him anymore and you want to end it. Tell him he has to move out (or that you both have to move out) within a certain time frame. You are not his mother - you are his girlfriend. He has to take care of himself...if you want him to have a good life, don't enable him or torture yourself.

 

 

Best of luck.

[pi_anochik]

You need to be honest with him. It's his problem that he's let his life get like that, and I know you may feel guilty about leaving, but you shouldn't. You're getting no where in this relationship. You're not getting anything out of it, and he's getting more than he deserves.