Vlycero

she offers to pay her own way, but I dont like having people that I take out and have fun with pay for anything, its just the way I am I am afraid that if I date this woman that it would be as a crutch because I just want to be with someone, and she would feel the same way because both of us want to be with someone right now...I am afraid if there was the potential for a long relationship, this would ruin it...but im also afraid to lose her to someone else... I guess I should step up to the plate, be a man...tell her how I feel and if it ruins the friendship then thats what happens, because we were never friends to begin with if that is the case

Ok....I have been seeing this girl as a friend for the past few months we met through work.. both of us are coming out of long term relationships broke up about the same time and had bad break ups... Funny thing is...she used to work with my ex, small world in a big city like tampa.... anyhow, they havnt talked in about 2 years but thats besides the point... Anyhow, both of us decided to be friends, she keeps asking questions like " do you like me" all my guy friends end up liking me and I dont want that to ruin what we have as a friendship.... Ok...now thats out of the way, here is the deal...we flirt with each other all the time...2nd weekend in a row she has taken me into Victoria's Secret & Fredricks of Hollywood with her and I made comments like, I wanna see you in what you are buying etc... Anyhow, I pay for absolutely everything when we go out, its like we are dating but no romantic interludes.... Tonight she asked me to give her a massage ( she did this about a month ago too, and i sorta went below the waste line and was massaging her hips and she got kind of weirded out cuz we didnt know each other too well ). Well I didnt make that mistake tonight, but I need to know from womans point of view if a woman is asking for massage is it just that or is she testing to see if there is something else between us?

paul thankyou for your words of encouragement...it takes two to tango and I have been blaming myself for a lot of things that went wrong in the relationship. I will admit that I have done many wrong things that I regret, by grabbing her by the back of the neck about 2 years ago, grabbing her by the wrists, I even slapped her on the arm once and kicked her in the shin when she wouldnt get out of my way...that was a long time ago and knew it was something that would not happen again.. When we broke up she told me she never forgave me for doing that to her, which I believe is unforgivable, im not expecting that...but she is and was my best friend in the entire world...is 22yrs old never got to experiencec life and go out with her friends etc cuz she was in a relationship... I refused to give her that space which made things worse I suppose, but I will move on and respect your advice... right on man, thanks for that

Its been 4 months as of yesterday ( since our 3 year anniversary and the last night she and I were together ). I know what I did wrong in the relationship, I have had plenty of time to reflect...I was very emotionally abusive in the relationship which is the main reason why she got a restraining order against me for 1 year, but the judge granted it a 2 way so neither of us can contact each other. This hurts because 1) she didnt come home for 4 days and I was served with it, and never got to talk to her. 2) I cant gain any closure, and I am afraid she is struggling with her life now and cant make it in a big city on her own without me because we moved 1200miles away from our familes 2months after we met. I am very afraid that I have lost the one person in my life that I truly cared about all because I made stupid mistakes which I cant even apologize for. I am attending counseling, but cant even let her know that I am trying to become a better person. Obviously I should take the restraining order as she doesnt want to be with me, but I am not sure that she did this with thinking it out. She works at a rape crisis center and is heavily influenced on stress, plus when this was happening she was very depressed because of her health problems where she had been on her period for 3 months straight and feeling very unsure of herself and emotionally drained working 55 hours a week. I guess all I can do is wait until next June when I can finally see her again, or move on... im very unhappy right now and want to contact her and help her out financially if I can but dont want to end up in jail if that is something that she does not want. Help me, I am dying inside and feel torn between thinking of her and helping her out and not wanting to go to jail if she gets mad because I did....I want to put her first for once, maybe this is all she wants to happen I dont know !!

2 words... THE CLAP....otherwise known as Clamidia (spelling? ) anyhow...you better go get checked out with a cotton swab

you are 15 years old....enough said, no one is THE ONE at this age...and if you are having trouble getting over an EX at the age of 15, you should seriously consider not dating anyone for a long time

First of all, you need to learn how to form sentences and paragraphs. You tend to run on and on without stopping. Seems to me like you need to settle down and think about things, you are rushing and reading into this too much. Just because she agreed to have a drink with you doesnt mean anything really except to be friendly. I wouldnt be expecting anything except for a possible friendship.

First step is that you are willing to admit that there is an issue, my ex had the same problem you are speaking of, but I had a lot to do with the problems in the relationship...nothing I can do now can take back the pain that I caused her. I only wish that I would have found out sooner and she would forgive me for the pain I put her through. Maybe you can reconcile with your recent ex, its worth a shot...sit down and explain the situation and you can both grow from it. I only wish that my ex would do that with me, but I realize it is her decision to take that step and there is nothing I can do. I wish you luck, and happiness.

First off...how old is this girl you are seeing? Have you been going to school together for a while and just recently started dating? Does she work a lot outside of school ? Just on a side note, where do you live? Sometimes location is the key to starting a new relationship especially if you live near the beach. ( from my experience ).

Hey Joe...sorry to hear about your situation, im sorta in the same way...my fiance left me on our 3 year anniversary and I dont start my new job until July 14th...so I get to sit around and mope all the time as well. I see you are from florida as well? I live in tampa... send me an Aol Instant Msg if you wanna chat. Screen name Vlycero Lates & GL Man

No contact means I cant even have contact with a mutual friend, or family member etc. The thing is, she hangs out with people twice her age that are single, and I know they are putting things in her head. She has major health problems and cannot have sexual intercourse because of it, I am afraid that another man may not understand this like I have. I have stuck with her without the sex because I love her deeply, but she wants some time alone, but a 1 year restraining order was overboard I believe, she didnt have to do that.

Ok, I have posted before about my situation but here is a summary. My fiance and I moved 1200 miles away from our families 2 months after we met 3 years ago. We moved in with each other, she supported me while I started my own computer business etc. We had our share of fights etc, mostly because I never put her first ahead of the bills & things we needed. Back in Febuary she started going out with her friends from work that are in their upper 40's she is 22, and she met some guy that was 15 years older then her... kissed him, told me about it came home and told me to leave. Because if someone can make her doubt our relationship we shouldnt be together. Now, we gave it a week..she found out that the guy was after sex and we continued to live together and things were getting better. I have a temper problem, throw things and yell etc...I even have kicked her in the leg, grabbed her by the neck etc. But I am working on that, and have not done those things to her in almost a year. 1 month ago she goes out with her friends for the first time since the kissing incident...gone for 12 hours and I ask her about her night etc and she gets defensive and we fight again. 2 weeks later, she comes home from work and says she wants me to leave by the end of june. Our 3 year anniversary is June 4th, she was gone for 4 days in a row saying she was at work and coming home at 10pm saying she shouldnt have to report to me where she was or when she will be back. Anyhow, she didnt think I was going to leave at the end of the month because I kept telling her we should talk and try to work things out. It was our anniversary and she came home at 11pm, and wanted to fight etc, I grabbed her by the arms and told her that I loved her and didnt want her to leave me. Next day I talk to her and she says she isnt coming home, last time I hear from her until 2 days later when a Police Officer serves me with a Domestic Violence Order, and I am forced to leave our apartment. *Note* She works at a rape crisis center so she knows how to do all this stuff to get me to leave. I went to court 2 weeks ago and the judge granted her a 1 year restraining order and now I cannot have any contact with her or face jail time... I am torn because I love her so much and I know that she wants to get into contact with me, but has no way of doing so because I dont have a phone or she dont know where im living. I am afraid if I call her, she will call the police...I want some closure since it has been a month and we have had no contact with each other and still see if she still wants to not be together. So that I can move on with my life. Any suggestions?

heh.... your boyfriend sounds like me... 3 years with my fiance, I dont have a job or a car...she threw me out because she wanted to go out and be with her friends and not have to report to anyone... Also put a restraining order against me because I said I was going to kill myself if she left me, and the police escorted me out of our apartment...now I cant see her for a 1 full year... It sucks.., my life sucks... I miss my fiance very much and cant believe that she didnt want to be with me anymore, but I cant even tell her how sorry I am the way things turned out because she is my best friend and I still want to be able to get in contact with her even if we are not together

Kinatra.... Im in same situation sorta.... cept my fiance broke up with me on our 3 year anniversary June 4th, and 2 days later filed an injunction for domestic abuse for things that happened that I said I would never do again. Went to court today, judge gave her a 1 year extension so I cant see or talk to her for a year now, and have to go through violence counseling for the next 6 months. I wont make excuses for grabbing her by the back of the neck, kicking her in the leg and the verbal abuse when I got angry, ( this happened months and months ago ) but the only way to fix a problem is to work on the issues at hand. Now I have a year to do so, and realize that it wont be with her...but will help me with someone else in the future. Good luck to you man, dont push a relationship that has no future or you could have what happened to me, happen to you when she decides you are being too controlling.

Call me stupid or whatever...but here is the deal. My fiance and I had been together for 3 years on june 4th of this year, we have had our share of arguments...I go off the handle and call her names, put her down...I even used to grab her by the back of the neck, kicked her once, threatened to commit suicide when I was down on myself. No woman should have to go through this, however....I have been trying to better myself over the past 6 months since she went out with her friends and ended up kissing another guy, she told me about it and didnt want to be together anymore, a week goes by and we were working things out. Everything got back to normal...she and I still had arguments but everytime I would say something stupid about the fact that she cheated on me. Anyhow, 3 weeks ago she went out with her friends again for the first time after she met the other guy....things went downhill from there because I questioned what she did when she was out...cuz she was gone till 2am again. She tells me she wants me to move out by the end of june, I figure we can try and see where things are during that amount of time and then go from there. Everyday she left at 7am and wouldnt come home until 9, 10, 11pm and told me that she shouldnt have to report to me cuz we aint together anymore. Our anniversary, June 4th...she comes home at 11pm the night before and tells me its over...I get upset we have an argument and I kept her up until 3am...she reached for the phone saying she couldnt stay here any longer..I told her that she could stay and held her in my arms told her I loved her. What does she do?? She dont come home for 3 days in a row, has no contact with me...gets a temp injunction for domestic violence claiming that I held her against her will that night and wouldnt let her call for help. Went to court today, I was honest with the judge, told him about our past and how I was working to better myself and that she shouldnt have to feel the way she does, Judge slaps on a 1 year injunction with no contact... anger management classes & a psych evalution for me... My life is falling apart, and to top it all off im in the middle of a bankruptcy filing at the age of 25 and cannot talk to the woman I have been in love with for the past 3 years , she wants nothing to do with me. We cannot contact each other for 1 FULL YEAR....by that time if she wanted to get back together it would be long over with..only thing i could hope is that she has the order removed