Need to know what i should do!!!

[ben37d]

Alright well i have an old message and i need help with that and what happened recently. I will cut the old message down here so you can just get a jist. Just skim through it really i need advice about what is on the bottom.

***Well lets see... where should i start

Well first a little info about me. I am 19 years old and in college. I am in a fraternity, but definitely dont fit the stereotype. Im basically a hopeless romantic and always want to make girls feel the best they possibly can.

So now for the situation and girl... Well it began a couple months ago when i met her at one of our huge parties (well really met her, i had seen her a couple times before). We hung out but in the beginning she liked another guy. I convinced her that he was no good and we ended up developing an alright friendship. I then took her to my fraternities formal and we had an incredible time (think college prom with your closest friends and lots of alcohol). Before the formal she told one of my brothers that she saw me as a friend but after then she hasnt really mentioned the friend thing anymore.

So after formal and for a while until now, about 2 months, we have gotten to know each other very well. Everytime we see each other we flirt all the time. And its not an innocent flirt. I do a wide variety of things. i have listened to things she said she loved when guys do them to her and have done them. We hug all the time and not just a quick one or anything. She is very complicated though. No matter what i do things are different from day to day. Some nights will be the nights we are hugging and she is in my arms, i run my fingers through her hair. Other nights its a little different and im not sure if it is because of her friends or not (although i have gotten to know them very well also). We basically hung out at least once a week if not 2 or 3 times. And that doesent count when we would text message or IM each other. We didnt talk for a while once and she sent me a message saying she really missed me and i needed to call her cuz we had to hang out. Lately we have been doing other things

There was a party where i came to her rescue and small things happened but i figured id let it go cuz she was extremely wasted. After the whole thing she said that i made her night like usual.

So she left lfor a month but i made sure to take her out to dinner before she left. When i asked her to go i did it in a discreet way but did say hey lets go out to dinner which we had never done before. "***

 

Now heres the thing. She came back this weekend just for the past two days. We ended up partying both nights but not extreme or anything just chilling and playing some drinking games. The first night we all had an awesome time and me and the girl flirted a lot like always. Its innocent for a lot of it but it does get more intense sometimes. She kept flaunting her camera which had "pictures" of her that i wasnt allowed to see. But she made sure to not let me see them about 20 times she went through them? (i did see the pictures by the end of the weekend). By the end of the first night we had an awesome time and i was laying with her on a couch (one hand on her thigh in skirt and the the other holding her neck and head) and we were just talking. It sucked though cuz we werent alone and couldnt be cuz her best friend was there. The night ended and because of her friend i was nice enough to let them share my bed but i was pissed off. The next day i worked and came back and she was here for another night. We did basically the same thing as the first night but it was more of just 6 of us hanging out instead of a bigger group. I proceeded with what i did the night before but last night it was different a little i think. Its weird how it happens. But i went on with my flirting and we ended up at the end of the night her laying on my lap and we were talking. I wanted to kiss her so bad but i just get worried especially since her friend and another person were in the room. By the way they wouldnt shut up. We ended up somehow getting on a topic later on about relationships and nice shy guys(me). She said im shy but not counting when im drunk. Now im not socially shy but i guess the term would be relationship shy. Very scared and worried about that. I figure thats what she meant cuz im not really shy around her at all. But i know she said stuff about how she wants a guy kind of like me but i know she isnt into just the nice guy. I just dont know what to do know. I snuggled with her a little when we all finally went to sleep but gave her her space just in case she felt uncomfortable (there i went thinking again). \

I know its been long but here is where i need advice. She left again until late august unless i go to see her. I wanted to talk with her before she left but her friend got in the way again. So what should i do. I know its better to do things in person and i really want to but thats just possible unless i wait a month. I can contact her through online or on the phone or text message whatever. Should i tell her how i feel? or that if she only knew how much i wanted to kiss her that night? i dont want her to think im shy or scared of her even though im scared out of my mind of not having her! what should i tell her if anything and how should i do it. I really dont want to suffer the next month or two with this inside of me again its tearing my emotions up and stressing me out. and i want her to know how i really feel even though i tell her things all the time i just want to make it official that she knows and get an answer. I just wanted to kiss her this weekend and see what happened but i let my mind get in front of me... HELP

[BellaDonna]

I'm sorry to say it, but I don't think there's much hope for you to have a real relationship with her. You're getting the notorious "nice guy" ...."I want to be friends" routine. If something romantic were to happen- It would have already occurred.

 

She likes the ATTENTION you give her. She uses you as a crutch to spill her emotions and raise her self-esteem, without taking your feelings into consideration. At most, you might be a back-up plan if she doesn't find someone else.

 

I'm not saying that the girl is evil, but any person half in tune would clearly realize you have feelings for them and try to be sensitive. Instead she leads you on, without taking your feelings into consideration. Her friendship with you is a bit selfish. She's a sponge- you're supporting her emotionally while she leaves you stressed and confused.

 

I would suggest letting go of her if you can. You deserve someone that is as enthusiastic about you, as you are about her...WITHOUT HEADGAMES

 

If you're a "hopeless romantic" I'm sure you'll have no problem finding someone else who reciprocates your feelings.

 

Sorry to be harsh- but as a woman who knows many people that have been in your situation, I can tell you that you're being played....and need to know you deserve better than that. When a woman says she just wants you "as a friend" or gives you the "nice guy routine" it's basically almost always an indication that there are no future prospects.

 

Sorry man!

 

BellaDonna