High School

[elila]

I'll be starting high school soon, and I'm really nervous.Most of those who attended my middle school are going to another school. I won't know 99% of the people at this school. And the few who I do know don't like me too much.

 

I'm worried I'll panic being around all those teenagers. I can't relate to anyone my age. I don't watch much TV or gossip. I don't drink, smoke, or do drugs. I'd rather not become loose. I keep good grades. And I don't want to lose my identity trying to fit in.

 

But I don't want to be made fun of.

 

Can anyone give me tips on how they survived?

[easyguy]

Elila, I got into so many things and changed so much in high school. You go in there as a young kid, clueless and scared, and you come out a young adult, well educated and informed with a new outlook on life.

 

When I first started high school I was kind of in your situation. I knew of everyone in my class but I didn't personally know that many people. Fitting in was difficult, not to add to the fact that I went from going to this middle school to a big high school with 1600 people. It was scary yes, but you have to think of it as another chapter in your life; an opportunity, not something you have to survive at.

 

Join clubs, afterschool activities, go to sporting events, join a team. My freshman year I didn't have any friends, and now I have tons because I got involved in things like music. Music especially. I didn't even play an instrument until just about the time I entered high school. You meet so many new people in high school. Each year there are new people you have never seen before. Not everyone comes from your middle school (well, at least where I live). I think only a couple of the friends I have now went to my middle school.

 

Another thing that you need to learn how to do is to not care what others think of you. That's a hard thing to do at such a young age, especially when everyone has all these preconcieved notions about you (the ones that know you, anyway). In high school there are the jocks, the cheerleaders, the goths, the band geeks, and many others. Cliques if you want to call it. Don't feel that you have to CHANGE who you are to fit in, but change because you want to change for your own good and become a better person. Be yourself and always keep your head up. It's not as bad as you might think. Like I said, getting involved helps tremendously. That's where you make some of your best friends, who enjoy doing the same things you do.

 

Freshman year I was an antisocial, shy kid who was a videogame nerd. Now I'm more social and way more confident around people in general, not just girls, am getting in shape and enjoying life (playing music!). I would have never seen myself where I am now 4 years ago.

 

I graduated from high school this year, and will be going off to college in the fall. It's just another chapter in your life, and it is important to be as optimistic and outlooking as possible. In college you will most likely not know anyone, especially if you go a big university. It's scary, but if you don't do something about it in a good way, what do you expect?

[goddess23]

hey. well not too long ago it was my freshman year and same thing. my middle school...alllll my BEST FRIENDS, my first love allll moved at the end of gr 8. i was so scared, i thought it would be so hard. turned out to be the BEST MOVE OF MY LIFE. now im not saying its like this for everyone, but ive noticed when you expect something to be crap it turns out great (thats why i enjoy being pessimistic lol). ANYWAYS, it was great, i still stayed close to my good friends we still meet up without all the drama. my grades stayed high as ever, i became super popular, i had my first bf, i mean its been wonderful. really, you know how in middle school its such a big diff between a 7th grader and 8th grader, in high school the age means NOTHINGGGGG at least in my school its like that. like barely anything, and its a great time, no more puberty woes! middle school is actually a much tougher time because its a big change, big transition. and keeping up your grades is up to you, as long as you dont cave into peer pressure then fine. it really doesnt affect your popularity, maybe your IMMEDIATE FRIENDS who you're reallly cloes to but it doesnt change your popularity ya no wat i mean? and you're making major assumptions about all teenages really its not like that. and yes they are more reckless and most are scrweed up lol but really you're overstressing. just be yourself concentrate on your marks and ENJOY YOUR FRESHMEN YEARS (GR 9 AND 10) where really your marks dont matter! i no im a nerd too and i dont think that way but now i realize they dont matter. so enjoy yourself! this is going to be fun!

[easyguy]

Oh yes, then in high school there's prom, winter ball, and various dances.

[Shinobie]

Iono i insist on staying to yourself and more like talking to your friends more and stuff.Try not to get in the middle of conversations people that migth not like u in say the popular people.Iono it might be good to be a more social person to get friends but i usually stayed to myself and didnt say anything but thats also partly because im shy.The only problem i ever had with getting picked on was by the popular hot girls.But all this passes by really fast.High school come sand goes fast.Ya maybe u can u can go to prom and all the fun dances and things.If ur shy like me there is really no use to going to dances or anything because i would always be dateless if i went but maybe u can go and hang out with friends there and stuff?

[smallworld]

Hi Elila, I'm an introvert at heart, but high school was wonderful for me. In my town, several middle schools merged to make up the HS, so everyone was "new" to some extent and nervous about making friends too. If you keep this in mind, it'll be easier for you to empathize and reach out to others first. Pick someone shy, you never know how good of a friend they might to be you.

 

If you can, drop by the hs before your first day to get familiar with the buildings and where your classes are. Consider it "exposure" therapy. My best friend dragged me there and to my surprise it worked. We were both a lot less nervous when classes started because we weren't overwhelmed the first day trying to find our way around our new "home."

 

If you panic, take a break. Take a walk away from stressors if you can. If you can't, close your eyes, and focus on breathing and slowing your heartbeat. Count backwards from 100 down by 7's. This should distract your mind long enough to calm down.

 

If you're made fun of, just laugh, come back with an even funnier line, or ignore it. Don't let anyone see that it gets to you. It's the "reaction" that they're seeking. If you don't give it to them, bullies get bored and tired of looking stupid for not being able to bait you.

 

Easyguy's given you some great advice. Don't bother trying to fit in. Just be yourself and you'll naturally draw people who like what you have to offer. If you fill up on AP classes, you should fit right in with the "enlightened" ones.

 

Finally, join extracurricular activities that you really enjoy. These are fun, look good on the college apps, and are the best places to make great friends that share your interests.

 

Focus on the potential rewards of high school and I think you'll find it's a lot more fun, friendly, and rewarding than you think. 8)