I messed up big time

[mizza]

I've known this guy since we were little. We haven't seen each other for a long time and only got in touch again last year. It was really nice to talk him again, somebody to reminisce with. The thing was he has a girlfriend and they've been together for a long time. Despite that fact, we still talk everyday and night, text messaging each other constantly throughout the day, and most of the time talking to each other on the phone before we go to sleep at night. I felt so close to him and sometimes I get mixed signals from him, I thought at first it was just my imagination, but as the time went by I was somehow sure that he felt something for me. I was dating a guy in the beginning of the year but I lost interest on the guy I was dating because of him.

Here's the thing, last month my friend told me that he had a dream about us and we kissed and it was romantic (yeas he told me about it). I took it as a sign that maybe he felt the same way, coz why would he dream about me in the first place? A week after that, I couldn't take it anymore and I lost control, I told him that I like him (through text message, bad idea) he didn't take me seriously at first, so I told him that I was serious and I got so mad so I told him that I think we should stop talking for a while because I need to sort my feelings out. You know why I said that? Because he said that he was FLATTERED!!! That's all he said, and I was sooo hurt I didn't know what to do. He didn't even call me, he just said that through text. He got mad at me too for saying that we should stop talking and he said that he doesn't understand why we can't stay friends despite my feelings for him. Anyway, after a few weeks of not talking I got in touch with him again ( I should've waited for him to make the first move, but I'm too weak). He said that he wants everything between us to be back to normal. So I was soo happy that we'll be friends again and I decided that I'll put my feelings for him aside and just be strictly friends because it's for the better. 2 weeks went by and he doesn't seem the same because he doesn't answer my text messages and he doesn't call anymore and even if he answer my text he doesnt' seem enthusiastic. I felt something was wrong. I sent him a text asking how he was, he didn't answer, I got mad, then sent him another text telling him that he was mean and I just want to forget about him and that I'm saying goodbye. He answered after that message and he was mad too and he said that I wasn't the only person in his life and he had good intentions for me and goodbye. That was the end of it, I think that I messed up big time. I wanted to stay friends with him, and if I could turn back time, I would just keep my feelings to myself and hope that it will go away, coz I think that his friendship is more important to me than losing him completely. I did lose him in the end, I keep on telling myself that it wasn't completely my fault, that he was part of it too. It just upsets me that he didn't even try to understand me and that he could just throw our friendship away just like that. I miss him so much. My friends tell me to get over him and I will in time. Right now I'm just so full of regrets.

[dextro]

Just a little advice by the way... never regret what you've done. And when something is wrong it isn't a one way!!! You should tell him that he mixed up things by sayin' "this and this and this." Explain him why you said this and this, i hope he'll understand. Don't be too emotional over him.

 

peace

[mizza]

Thanks. I tried to get through him and explain why I did what I did. I tried so many times, but he's a hard headed guy, he wouldn't budge, if he thinks he's right he wouldn't change his mind. Just like I said it was hard for me to get in touch with him for the last few weeks, which made it harder for me, because I was just dying to make him understand. My friends said that he should've tried to understand me and just talk things through. He didn't even call, it makes me sad because I felt like our friendship wasn't important to him. I mean we've known each other since we were little. Oh well, I learned my lesson and I'll just have to forget and move on, because knowing him our friendship is over.