Need some advise if you have the time

[Diesel69]

Hi...My name is Damian. I started seeing a woman about 2 1/2 years ago. It was only a casual intimate thing and we only caught up for the sex. She had two children and this was a good safety net to avoid attachment because I didn't want to be with a woman with children.

 

Over time we became very good friends and we had restored faith in each other that amazing people are still out there. We connected on a level that was just amazing… I knew when she was thinking of me and like wise… I would pick up the phone to call her and she would ring while I had the phone in my hand, this happened all the time. We where defiantly connected! I guess I now know what true love is… it wasn't the fairy tale feeling of love that will last forever, its more of a deep respect and understanding for each other that grew over time becoming best friends.

 

On Sunday she said that she didn't want to be intimate with me any more as she feels like I want more from her than she can give. She is older than me and she has reached a point in her life that she needs to make something of her life for her children now or else never. I am deeply saddened by this as she is the only person I have met that understands me and she feels the same, we became best friends over the years. This is a woman that I truly love and adore but deep down I feel that we both need some space but i know its over. She feels that she couldn't live with me. I acted differently to how I felt so I guess she could think that but I know we could. I adore her children and they do me but I didn't get to close to them for obvious reasons… what should I do? Can any one give me some advise? Is it over or is she just saying she needs space... I dont know... has she met somone else?

[angel200488]

Maybe now she feels as though she may have misunderstood your "motives" with being intimate in the first place and is seeing if there is more to the relationship other then you two being intimate. (That's what was there first-right?) I think it is possible for her to be testing you to see what you are really seeking in any realtionship that you two share.

 

She may want some space, however giving her too much could result in her thinking that you don't care or that you really were only after a few "booty-calls". I would talk to her about the way you feel, that you do have feelings and

a deep respect and understanding

of her and especially her children. Let her know you care!

 

Keep me update and good luck!

[heloladies21]

Well friend, looks like things are over. Best thing to do now is to cut all contact and give it some time so everyone can really figure out what they're really looking for. She might have someone else, she might not, no way to tell. Occupy yourself with all kinds of activities and start talking to other girls. Talk to lots of them.

[Hope75]

That's the thing about "friends with benefits" type relationships. Generally they suit the couple's needs for a period of time, but after awhile, it kind of has to go somewhere, either commitment or to end.

 

Maybe you can still have a solid friendship with her?

 

When you say you love her, are you saying that for you the dynamic of the relationship has changed, and that you would now be willing to commit to her, even though she has children and that wasn't in your master plan?

 

If this is the case, have you told her how you feel? Maybe if she knew there was potential for more, she would be willing to at least consider it.

 

Just a thought...