Need Opinions please!!!!!

[HEZ2005]

Well , first of all my english is not that good, i'm from germany. So sorry for that. Well, the story goes like this. My girlfriend dumped me 3 weeks ago and I'm really, really sad and lonely. I mean I can't study, I can't eat , sleep is very hard and all I do is try to hang out with friends. We had a 4 year relationship , she is now 22 and i'm 26. It was a great relationship but I was always very cold with her. I mean I'm a cold person , it's difficult to me to show my love to girls but the last year I showed her a lot more love. Well we went last february to brazil and it was beatyful. I mean really like a honey moon. Well the thing is that this year she was very stressed because she is now in her last year of law school. I'm also studying law school, but I'm finishing next year. The thing is, what bothered us both was that in some way it was difficult to me to accept that she is better than me at studying. I mean she is a hardworking student and i'm not. I'm a bit lazy. So, this last year she told me that she didn't had the same future thought about us. She is finishing and i still must study the whole next year so she was a bit disappointed with that. I mean she really loved me before this year, she wanted to get married so it was weird. I mean since she started law school this year she was very bad tempered, all the time, because she was stressed. Anyway , she dumped me 3 weeks ago saying she needed a break. Take a break. I also did say I would like to do that because honestly it was not going well and I didn't wanted to beg. You know. I love her, I also lost my virginity with her and she with me. Well the thing is that I really don't know what happened. She loved me very, very much so what happened there. It hurts soooo much. I don't know what to do. Anyway , we ageed that we would talk the 18'th july, so I don't know if a should call her that day or what... ... Why did she stop loving me. I don't get her? Did she fell in love with another guy? .....need answers plizz........bye thank you

[Meow18]

She might not have stopped loving you. SHe might just be really stressed out. You have been arguing a lot lately and it seems like you both compete with each other with everything. She might just think that if you take a break things will be better if you get back together.

 

You should make sure to just be happy for her. Don't get mad because she might be a better student. Be happy that she is so motivated. If you can't be happy for each other in the relationship, even if it means they are better than you at something, then that will cause lots of problems.

 

Give her the time she needs to think. She hasn't stopped loving you. She just said she needs a break. Give her space. Don't be calling her every day, or even every other day because that will only push her away. You wouldn't be giving her the space she needs right now.

 

Just go out with your friends for now. Try to have fun without her. You have to be able to have fun with yourself too.

[HEZ2005]

Thank you maggie for your reply. May be you are right , but the strange thing is that we talked about breaking up forever but she didn't wanted to. It's strange, I mean , we barely saw each other the last two months because we didn't had time , so the strange thing is why do she want's to break up even when we almost don't see each other. I mean I'm not disturbing her to study, so why? I'm not bothering her , so I think its definitly a break up forever. And I also think that she don't want to hurt me , because I got depression for almost 7 years now , but she was always with me and she said it didn't matter to her. I want to know the truth . I want her to tell me the whole truth ... Well I will have to wait til 18th july....

[RayKay]

Your english was just fine

 

It does sound like she was very very stressed out....Law school will do that in itself, but also knowing you are soon entering the real world outside of school will do that. It causes you to think about your future and your plans, and so doing so might have scared her a bit.

 

Also, perhaps she felt your resentment for her hard work...instead of praising her ambition and ability, maybe she felt as if you disapproved since you were not the same. And she resented you for not living up to what she wanted you to do...but really, you can't be that lazy if you are in law

 

I think it sounds like there has just been a breakdown in communication, and conflict resolution. A break may either help you two start off fresh together, or it may mean that you two end up staying apart in which case it might be the best thing for her/you to do. She is still quite young, and might not be sure what she wants either yet, and you don't deserve to be led on either. Nor do you need to be with someone who is going to always be bad tempered and treat you badly because they are stressed...we should look to our partners for comfort when we are under stress, not to be our punching bag!

 

The 18th is 10 days away...I know it will be a long 10 days, but hold in there. Right now, focus on moving on, and having fun with your friends and focusing on your studying. Your best chances right now are to give her space she asked for and give her time to think things over too. In 10 days, see if she calls. If she does not, I would wait a couple more days, call her and arrange to have a sit down talk and see what is going on.