Need someone to talk to...

[wolfy1818]

Well I am new to this board but I needed to spil my guts to someone. I don't have many friends and the only one i feel comfortable spilling my guts to is the girl who this is about.

 

I have a girlfriend who I have been with 3 months. Not long I know but you know how feelings go, things developed really quickly. I think back to my last relationship and how I totally messed things up by being jealous and angry much too often. So with this girl who I love so much and I think is so totally unique (I never thought a girl like her existed honestly) I told myself I wouldn't make that mistake again and would be totally sweet, non-jealous, caring, and there for her always. Well to make a long story short.... I told her I had jealousy issues and that I wanted her help to get past them. She said she would do what she could and that I could trust her but she is "sick of being the stronger one" in relationships. But all well we moved on. I asked a few questions about certain guy friends early in the relationship and she gave me honest answers and that made me feel great. Even though she would often get frustrated that I ask these questions. Well now I totally have been feeling awesome and have had no problems when she hangs out with guy friends and have even surprised myself at my lack of jealousy. The only problem is she keeps bringing up those "questions" I asked her in the beginning as though I asked them yesterday, telling me how insecure I am. I am trying to be friends with my ex (sorta) and she seemed upset about me doing that when aparently I make her feel like it's not ok to see her ex boyfriend who she is good friends with. That was quite awhile ago that I had a problem with that and i am ok with her seeing him but aparently she doesn't feel ok. So I told her I wouldn't be friends with my ex girlfriend if that would make her less upset (since I didn't care too much about developing a friendship with her), and my girlfriend called me a coward. She said I cowered down and offered to ditch my ex as a friend for her. I don't know, I hate how when my girlfriend gets tired or stressed she turns into someone horrible that just calls me names and rips into via my soft spots. I would do and do do anything to keep her happy but she just goes off for no apparent reason sometimes when I have done nothing but been the sweetest guy. I am sure no one has read this far into this but if you have, I appreciate it. I love her so much for who she is normally cause she is so unique and can be so sweet when we spend real time together. But since this has been a long distance thing, every now and then she rips into me when she is tired or stressed and sometimes hangs up on me when we are trying to talk these things out cause she gets so frustrated. Holly shit I sound like a coward but I really don't wanna loose this one. It took me a year and a half of being single and misserable to find this girl and I don't think I could do it again and don't think I would be able to find someone like her again. I just hate feeling powerless to keep her happy, cause I do everything I can and be the sweetest guy I can and she still gets angry cause I called when she didn't wanna talk, or asked her to call me when she didn't wanna talk... something like that. I am sure no one is gonna read this, don't blame ya, it's hard for me to explain my situation to anyone else but like I said, I have no one I can talk to and no friends really that are that close so I feel like I want to get it out there to someone. Thanks to whoever read this.

 

 

- Wolfy1818

[mmackenna]

I don't think you're a coward. I think you're normal (maybe a tad bit extreme, but mostly normal). There are STILL exes of mine that I will run away from. I think your real problem is confidence, not jealousy. Ask your girlfriend why she is with you (only once though cuz it gets kind of annoying after awhile). Or better yet, have her write them down so you can remind yourself what you have going and what you can offer her. It's great therapy. Also you should write down the good things about you. Don't try to convince yourself otherwise. You are a good person with a lot of talents I'm sure. Just don't forget it.

[brandos lovechild]

I wouldn't suggest getting your gf to write down the reasons why she is with you..i'm not being mean,but that is really lame ! You shouldn't have told her you have jealousy issues bro, it's like waving a big red flag in her face. You said she get's irritable and brings up the fact that you asked her questions in the beginning about her guy friends ? She is doing this bcos she has very little else to nag at you about..she might be frustrated bcos of your lack of jealousy ! BRO, she is arguing with you bcos there is no drama in your relationship and she is trying to create some. Don't ever offer to stop seeing a friend for her comfort..she'll think ur weak and she'll treat u like a doormat . Personally,i think the concept of staying friends with ex's is a terrible idea and just creates trouble later on in other relationships !! BUT ABOVE ALL....YOU ARE BEING TOO PREDICTABLE AND TOO NICE, IF U WANT TO KEEP HER AND STOP HER NAGGING AT YOU FOR NO REASON...THEN TAKE A STAND AND STOP TRYING SOOOO HARD TO PLEASE HER ( SHE'LL GET BORED). goood luck 8)