His Ex-girlfriend.

[STARSHINE42]

Hey everyone. I have a big problem and I'm not sure how to deal with it.

I have been seeing this guy now for a couple of months. I'm not too sure where this is going between us. I like him so much though. I really want it to work out.

For the summer him and like 8 of his friends are renting a house (Which is like 1 hour from where I live) and well..his Ex girlfriend is one of the "friends" that live there.

I have gone there 3 times, and gone out with them and stayed over. All of the guys are so nice to me..but his ex-girlfriend and the other girls in the house(her friends) are just plain mean to me.

I have tried talking to him about the situation, and he tells me they are not only friends..but "best friends"

He wants me to come over tomorrow for a couple of days..and I really want to. But I feel so uncomfortable with the ex and the other girls.

[STARSHINE42]

Can someone please give me advice?

[Hope75]

This is a tough situation to be in. Have you really talked to your bf and told him how his ex makes you feel while you are there?

 

No doubt she feels jealous of the attention he gives you, and perceives you as a threat, and you probably perceive her as a threat as well, adding to the tension in the house.

 

May I ask why they broke up, when, how long they were together, and how long you''ve been with him?

 

You say now they are best friends? Can he have a talk with her and explain how important it is to him that you are made to feel welcome when you visit?

 

 

I think you really need to have a serious talk with your bf about this. Not in the house, but maybe take a walk or a drive, somewhere where the two of you can be alone.

 

Tell him in a calm way how badly she and her friends make you feel, and see if there is anything he can do about it.

 

If he refuses, you might question how important this relationship with you is to him, and if you are willing to take a back seat to an ex.

 

If he talks to her and and can get her to at least be civil with you, maybe things will be a little easier in the house.

 

If he talks with her and she is still mean, maybe you will just have to spend time with him away from the house.....and her.

[darkblue]

I'm sure he would understand if you said to him that you are uncomfortable being in the house with his Ex.

 

And explain how she is mean to you.

 

He can look out for it and maybe even pick up on some hostility.

[birdgirl]

Why are guys oblivious when other girls treat us like crap? Do they not see it? I'm going through a similar thing. If she were nice, that might be bearable.

 

I don't know what to tell you. On one hand, you don't want to seem controlling, and if you stop him from having fun, he'll resent you, and possibly place the same limitations on you one day. We all need trust... but catty ex-girlfriends or ex-crushes are NO FUN!

[darkblue]

Why are guys oblivious when other girls treat us like crap? Do they not see it? I'm going through a similar thing. If she were nice, that might be bearable.

 

I don't know what to tell you. On one hand, you don't want to seem controlling, and if you stop him from having fun, he'll resent you, and possibly place the same limitations on you one day. We all need trust... but catty ex-girlfriends or ex-crushes are NO FUN!

 

In our defence; we're not all like that.

Personally, when in a relationship, I trust what my partner has to say. I would be vigilant to such going ons.