Grandmother interfering in relationship, afraid to lose GF.

[Protex]

Hey there guys, it's me again with yet another problem relating to my grandmother/guardian.

 

I have been with my GF for 4 months. She lives in Scarbourough which is about an hour away from where I live.

 

My grandmother, who is 77 and whom I live with won't let me visit my girlfriend.

 

First off, she does not like my GF or my GF's family for reasons that are, in my opinion, trivial, but hey, that's my grandmother for you. Basically, the two families are not fond of each other.

 

She says that where my GF lives is extremely violent and I will get hurt etc etc...

 

I have talked to my grandmother about this, numerous times and she still will not allow me to visit her.

 

I cannot tell her I'm going out with some other friends, because my mom calls the other friends to verify my stories. (She's super overprotective).

 

Also, if I were to just get up and leave the house, my grandmother would not fail in making my home life a living hell.

 

My GF almost broke up with me over this last week, and since then my grandmother has promised that she would change. She did for the total of one day, let me go see my GF and now she is back to where she was before.

 

Whenever my GF asks me to come over and I tell her I can't because of my grandmother she get's really upset at me, and tells me to just leave and things like that.

 

I'm afraid my GF is going to break up with me if things continue like this, I really like her and she says that she really likes me and I believe it, but she also says its hard to have a BF that she cannot see.

 

She would come down here to see me, but then she would get into fights and arguments with my grandmother.

 

Anybody have any suggestions? I'm really feeling horrible, I feel a break-up coming and I don't want to lose this girl.

 

Any help is appreciated.

[mysteryman]

Could your gf come to you? Or your friends you and her get together? If not just trying tell your grandmother in a clam way how much you wana be with her . And hopefully she'll cave in.

[Opiate]

Well, the classic romeo and juliet life. Excuse me when i say this but that sucks man. What you shoul do is confront your grandmother, tell her how much you feel about this girl and tell her "if you love me you will allow me to live my life and see the girl that i am crazy about". Who cares what your family/ grandmother thinks. Its your life, dont let your grandmother controll it.

[Protex]

I've told her this over and over, but it has not made a difference.

[rilo82]

you are 16. is the age legal at your place to make independent decisions. eg. like sign contracts that are binding. if it is, i think you shld let your grandma and mother know your concerns. you are a big guy.

 

if it is not legal, let your gf know that it is always right to respect the decisions of elders. and until you are ready to work and earn your keep, i think it best to listen to them. as mysteryman said, why didnt you ask your gf over. ask her to stayover and let those who oppose the relationship know her better. time will tell if they will clique(is this the right spelling for this word?).

[Opiate]

Well my advice to you then is follow your instincts, if things cant work out then sorry, i know things like these are tough but youll get through this situation somehow, just remember, if things dont work out, this isnt the end of the world.

[imagi]

Maybe you can get your friends to run interference for you. Make the trek out to Scarborough, and ask your friends to cover for you. If you work, tell your mom/grandma that your shifts are longer than they really are so you can get your girlfriend to come into your area of town to hang out with you, or you can go out to Scarborough. Lying and sneaking around isn't the best solution to things, but if your parents aren't letting you make your own choices and mistakes, sometimes it can be the only solution. You've done the mature and responsible thing, you've tried to be reasonable with your family, and they aren't treating you like you deserve to be treated. If your girlfriend were being a bad influence or what not, I can understand that your grandma/mom wouldn't want you to see her, but you guys sound like you're good for each other.