Problem with orgasms...during sex

[traz]

Hi all, I've recently become sexually active, and I have been having problems having an orgasm during sex. I haven't yet been able to ejaculate, and I've had sex several times.

 

I've been doing some reading, and of course, many sites suggest that it is a mental problem, perhaps I am stress, not comfortable, or just thinking too much or trying too hard. I've thought about this, and I suppose its possible, but I really don't feel like it is. As far as I know, I am comfortable in the situations.

 

However, I have noticed that I don't find that sex helps me reach an orgasm. What I mean is, it feels really good, but the feeling doesn't bring me any closer to ejaculating, it just maintains a constant good feeling. However, I can masturbate or even if my partner is masturbating for me, then I'm able to ejaculate. In those situations, the sensation is different...the movements are alot...faster than during sex, and it seems to bring about an orgasm much better for me.

 

My question basically is...does anyone have any similar experiences? And also, does anyone have any advice, on how I might be able to get sex to lead to an orgasm, or be more similar to masturbation/ a hand job? My partner really feels bad when we have sex and I can't ejaculate, and I do too...Any comments are welcome!

 

Thanks alot, sorry if I was too graphic...Dunno if it was

[mysteryman]

I kinda know what you mean. it may have to do with concentration. Try to focus and it may help?

[Opiate]

Well i can tell you one thing, i have expieramented with sexually active things and well the only advice i can give u is, tell your boyfriend to take some viagra, eventhough its for old people, i guarantee it gives him a 12 hour erection, so when your going at it you can do it for as long as you want until you orgasm. I have known women with this sort of problem and alot of the time its mental, but if its not mental for you then tell him take viagra, and then when hes UP ( if u know what i mean) then go as fast as he possibly can. This might be some very embarrassing information but i have tried viagra and i swear to you my penis has never been so hard for so long in my life. It will give you more than enough time to get your orgasm.

[traz]

hi, I'm a guy

 

lol

[Opiate]

sorry, i thought you were a woman, but now that i know. I have had the same problem when i was first sexually active. Just dont think about it, when your "doing it" jut dont think about it as some kind of important thing, just tell your mind its just sex and u should have fun with it, your probably thinking way too much when your doing "it".

[Laughing Sam]

traz

 

you may find that just posting this and knowing that you are not a freak of nature will help relax you. I too had this problem when first going "all the way". There is a lot of expectation and the one thing that girls don't understand is mostly guys want to be good at it, and satisfy their partner which will put extra stress on the dirty deed the first few times when you really are trying to feel your way.

Talk about this situation (stop calling it a problem) with your partner but make sure the discussion takes place at a time when sex is not on the agenda, so you can speak openly and let your partner know they do turn you on. Start spending a long time on the foreplay in order to get yourself way, way, into the zone (never heard of a woman yet who wanted to skip starters to get to the main course). Try different styles, everyone told me that you went as fast as you can and ejaculation usually came after the second friction burn, not true, have fun with different positions and speeds, sometimes a slow burn can be pretty cool.

One last tip, make sure your partner does not feel it is an inadiquency in them that is halting you, otherwise there will be two people in the relationship unsatisfied.