killerk1234 Posted June 18, 2005 Share Posted June 18, 2005 I had been with my boyfriend for a year We are having sex a lot. and we recently stopped becasue that was all our relationship becameMy boyfriend is i year older then me The problem is I feel very insecure and my boyfriend is quite good looking. I am afraid that he will find someone better and leave me. I have had my heart broken once before and feel like i push people away when we get too close. I really want to have one guy who can take care of me and love me a lot. I am the type of person who needs a lot of company. I am also very sensitive. For example if my boyfriend goes out with his friends I feel neglected. I feel very upset and quarrel with him. Sometimes when he says nice things I wonder if he is just sweet-talking or if he is telling truth! He tells me he loves me all the time but i don tkow if i believe him.. How can I improve our relationship? Link to comment
loveydovey Posted June 18, 2005 Share Posted June 18, 2005 What is it exactly that you feel is wrong? I don't think you NEED to do anything to improve your relationship, but if you feel like something is lacking, I would try having a heart to heart with your boyfriend. And that shouldn't be too uncomfortable for you since you two have been together for over a year. Tell him how you feel. Let him know that you've had a broken heart before and that you sometimes push people away. Sometimes when people know where we've come from, they are able to better understand us. Hope this helps sweetie. Link to comment
DN Posted June 18, 2005 Share Posted June 18, 2005 Was this a joint decison to stop sleeping together or one you made on your own? Link to comment
killerk1234 Posted June 18, 2005 Author Share Posted June 18, 2005 he decided we should take a break.. because he says he cares about me.. the thing is i know he thinks about sex all the time but he never tells me he wants to have sex. so i always have to initiate it.. becuase he never does.. he told me the other night we should stop becuase he knows i only do it to please him and that i never want it.. and he comes over expecting it.. but im just so insecure.. and i dont know what to do.. i dont trust him for some reason and think that if we dont have sex.. eventhough its his decision because i can live without it is that hes going to regret it.. and find it from someone else.. i just dont know what to do and where to go from here because im so confused and i dont know why i dont trust him.. i guess its becase past relationships and past boyfriends who have let me down.. But i do love my boyfriend a lot.. i dont know how or whathe can do to gain my trust Link to comment
sisterlynch Posted June 18, 2005 Share Posted June 18, 2005 Sorry but... this whole thing is confusing...you want him to come over and not want sex, even though you have had sex with him and you two are still in a relationship? What can the future hold for him to remain in this relationship? You must be pushing him away unconsciously... Why are you stopping the sex? Link to comment
DN Posted June 18, 2005 Share Posted June 18, 2005 Do you still want to have sex with him. In fact, what is exactly is it that you want from him and with him? Link to comment
killerk1234 Posted June 18, 2005 Author Share Posted June 18, 2005 no he doesnt want to have sex.. but im scared he will regret it Link to comment
killerk1234 Posted June 18, 2005 Author Share Posted June 18, 2005 i just want to feel like he is in love with me.. idk what it is maybe its me but i feel like i am more comitted to the relationship than he is.. i dont care if we have sex.. i just want to please him an i just want him to be happy Link to comment
DN Posted June 18, 2005 Share Posted June 18, 2005 Have you told him this and asked him what he wants? If not, then perhaps you should. Link to comment
killerk1234 Posted June 18, 2005 Author Share Posted June 18, 2005 i did and he gave me this whole thing about him hanging out with me almost everyday and him not hainging outw ith his friends because of this and his parents think we are too young to be this serious and hang out a lot and how he doesnt understand what else he can do to make me feel that he is in love with me. Link to comment
Hope75 Posted June 18, 2005 Share Posted June 18, 2005 How long have you been together? It seems odd to cut sex completely out of the relationship. Is there any sort of compromise that you can come to? You say that though you initiate it all the time, you don't care/want sex? What about him? If he is thinking of sex all the time, why doesn't he want it with you? Why did he never initiate it? It sounds like a major communication issue to me, and I don't see how you can continue when neither of you is getting what you want and doing nothing about it. Link to comment
belladona Posted June 18, 2005 Share Posted June 18, 2005 you sound needy and perhaps that's why he decided to cut off the sex. sounds to me that what you want is a real emotional connection and that sex itself is not satisfying that need. I think what you want is sex with love. however, if he has said that he loved you and you still doubt him, then the problem is that you need to work on your self-esteem and past hurts. perhaps a break is a good thing. it will give both of you time to re-evaluate your feelings towards each other. but whatever you do, don't be jealous of him or feel so insecure without him. You are worth more than that. Keep yourself busy with your own life and work on yourself. Link to comment
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