Ex is coming by tomorrow morning and I'm starting to panic..

[brokenjerseyheart]

My ex who I had been with for almost 4 years is coming by tomorrow to pick up stuff she left at my place and some money I owe her. I emailed her today asking her what she wants to do with all of it and she called me a couple hours later. We've been on NC for a little over a month now. When we spoke she sounded as if we spoke a day or two ago (she was driving at the time, though).

 

At any rate she's coming by at 10:30am to pick up the stuff. I have healed a bit (no longer too emotional but I have my moments) and am doing a lot with my free time/life right now. But, I'm starting to panic about how I should go about this encounter. I know to play it friendly and come off as positive but part of me wants to ask her why. I do want to get back together as I felt (and thought she did, too) that we were meant for one another. I plan on just asking her how she's been and tell her what I'm doing (a lot more positive stuff than when we were together) but I want to ask her how she feels about the NC and us.. is it possible to sneak it in there at all or should it just be avoided? Should I maintain control over the conversation or just let it go with the flow? A part of me is really afraid that she'll say something really hurtful.. Any advice would be appreciated

[bellamcb]

If a part of you is concerned about her saying something hurtful, then you should go into it really KNOWING that it's a possibility. Never ask a question when you don't want a truthful answer. However, it feels good to be honest with people about your feelings and as you get older, it feels even better. Just play it by ear and go with your gut at the time. If you do come clean with your feelings and she responds unkindly, then you're better off without her. It would hurt in the near-term but you'll meet someone else and realize it wasn't meant to be.

 

Good luck!

[sidehop]

If you're feeling that way then you probably shouldn't be there...

 

What I'm trying to say is, you need to make up your mind as to whether or not you want to let her go or try to get her back. If she's getting her things back chances are she's ready to move on & so should you. Honestly my suggestion would be keep the contact and the talk at minimal...if she really cares, she will talk to you but just don't let her talk you down or make you feel guilty.

[heloladies21]

Don't bring up the relationship, or why everything happened, or where she stands. None of that, way too much pressure.

 

Here's what I would do, make the conversation short. Not too much smiling to try and impress her, just act normal. A couple of superficial ?'s, like about work/school and her family then cut the convo, like 3-4 minutes into it. Make up an excuse if you have to.

 

Whatever you do, don't let the convo drag on for a long time cause you'll start to read things into what she says that she doesn't mean and it'll get all emotional. If she interested in getting back together with you, she'll have to make it very obvious. And she'll have to work to win you back. You deserve that much. If she's made up her mind, then there's nothing you can do.