How long should you give it before you end things?

[AvaD21]

I recently started dating someone younger than me (6 wks ago). 

It started off as a one night stand and we both agreed that we wouldn’t necessarily have ‘chosen’ each other (if we were on Tinder for example) but we hit it off in the bar when we were drunk & had good pillow talk, so kinda thought we should see each other again. 

 He’s really great in some areas, thoughtful, communicative, makes the effort to see me & always has ideas of things we could do together. He’s very forthcoming in how he feels about me & says he’s always thinking about me etc.

Some areas he’s lacking for me in ways that kind of annoy me & also not massively fulfilling in the bedroom but because he’s so nice, I wanted to give him a chance & try & get over these lil hang ups I have. I like him but I feel pretty indifferent.

Last week, he bought me some flowers & asked me to be his gf & I kinda felt like I’d be a huge d*** saying no, so I agreed. 

I’ve been slowly kind of internally fizzling with him tho. It’s becoming an effort to text him & I don’t know if I really care to see him again. I don’t know if this is just my mind panicking because I haven’t been in a relationship for a while or bc I know subconsciously that I’m doing the wrong thing so I’m backtracking?

I really don’t want to hurt him but I just don’t know whether I should give it a bit longer in case it’s a slow burner or if I should cut it off now? 😫

[Wiseman2]

11 minutes ago, AvaD21 said:

I ve been slowly kind of internally fizzling with him tho. It’s becoming an effort to text him & I don’t know if I really care to see him again. 

Are you seeing others? If he's taking up time and space and you're not feeling it, it may be better to set yourself free and let him know it's not working out.  You could use a variation of the "it's me, not you" explanation such as not being ready for a relationship. 

[Andrina]

All signs point to him not being someone you should continue dating. No way around not hurting someone's feelings in the dating world when you're not feeling it. It's par for the course in being a human being. The longer you put off breaking up, the more invested he will become. Do him a favor and let him go sooner rather than later.

[boltnrun]

Would you want a guy you're really into to stay with you out of pity? Would you want him to drag it out while he tries to force himself to like you?

[AvaD21]

1 minute ago, boltnrun said:

Would you want a guy you're really into to stay with you out of pity? Would you want him to drag it out while he tries to force himself to like you?

Youre right, I’ve just been googling it and some dating experts say that things can be a ‘slow burner’ and I’m just questioning whether 6 weeks is long enough to know? 

[Batya33]

I think 6 weeks is more than enough given how you met and how lukewarm and ambivalent you were from the beginning. 

[Capricorn3]

1 minute ago, Batya33 said:

I think 6 weeks is more than enough given how you met and how lukewarm and ambivalent you were from the beginning. 

^ I second this post.

[boltnrun]

49 minutes ago, AvaD21 said:

Youre right, I’ve just been googling it and some dating experts say that things can be a ‘slow burner’ and I’m just questioning whether 6 weeks is long enough to know? 

So what?

I don't mean to be facetious, but those so called "dating experts" aren't living your life for you.

Are you stalling because you're afraid to tell him it's over?

[AvaD21]

Yes, I think I was! But after posting here, I decided to tell him and I do feel better for it. 

[boltnrun]

17 minutes ago, AvaD21 said:

Yes, I think I was! But after posting here, I decided to tell him and I do feel better for it. 

That's good. He's probably not some ogre who deserves to be strung along while you tried to like him. 

Better for the both of you to end it. 

[Wiseman2]

21 minutes ago, AvaD21 said:

, I decided to tell him and I do feel better for it. 

Good decision. Hope you both find happiness going forward.  Too many people don't cut their losses soon enough. Time is the only real commodity anyone has and sadly many waste it in losing propositions because of the "sunk cost fallacy". Google it. It's an interesting concept.