I have no friends and my girlfriend is probably cheating on me

[younginstaycool]

Hey y’all, I have been lurking in here the past few days and reading threads and hope this is the right place to post this/ask for advice. I didn’t want to post on Reddit because my girlfriend is an avid user of any and all relationship related subs and quite the stalker.

To begin, I’m 20 years old. I have a girlfriend of the same age I’ve been with since we were 17 and do not live together. I should also say, I don’t have concrete proof she’s cheating on me, but I have good reason to believe.

The reason I’m posting this is because we haven’t seen each other and hardly talked in three weeks. We have been arguing for quite some time now, and a big thing we’ve been arguing about is our boundaries. She is very controlling, and as the title may suggest, I have lost friends over her (not all but some.) She did not allow me to talk to other women or interact with them on social media and monitored my location and online activity seriously hard. I couldn’t leave the house without 5 texts and a call, which was a very angry call if I didn’t answer in a moment. And to be honest, I’m a pretty boring guy. In high school I hardly went to parties, and these days I mostly just work. If I ever left the house, it was to get McDonalds with a friend or to go see my family. I never left without her and honestly was conditioned to do so. This reached a peak one night, when I went to a stand up comedy show with my brother for his birthday which I informed her of a month prior but she already knew from stalking my mothers facebook account. When she saw we were in the city, where the show was, she went ballistic and blocked me on everything, calling me all types of names and saying we were through. I was heartbroken, but went through the show to celebrate my brothers birthday and later that night she texted me apologizing.

Following this, the stalking, harassment, and control ended. But only at the cost of us speaking less and less. This was about three months ago, and we’ve seen each other only maybe 6 times since and not at all in the past three weeks. She doesn’t respond to my texts very often and always has her phone on silent, says she will call or wants me to call but never does or doesn’t answer, and every time I ask her to hang out she gets very angry at me. She’s been going to the club/bar (normally more than one) twice a week, going to the gym at all hours of the night with her childhood guy best friend (“it’s okay because he’s gay”), turning off her location randomly and ignoring me for days, etc. To add to this, she has lied to me repeatedly over the years about talking to ex boyfriends, flings, etc. or telling me a guy hit on her in an extremely explicit way then being over at his house very late at night, lying about being at male co workers homes or hiding inviting people over. 
 

To reiterate, Im serious when I say I couldn’t leave my house for like two years without being blown up on and accused of all types of things, and the most I do is say “where r u?” or ask “please don’t go to the bar that late and ignore me,” or “just let me know before you leave and that u made it home safe” and she’ll tell me I’m a overbearing loser boyfriend, call me names (retard, loser, fag, etc.). I will try to tell her I understand if u need space I would just appreciate if we could talk or hang out at least every once in a while and that it hurts me because I was NOT allowed to have space. 
 

anyways she’s currently about a 100 miles away in a different city with her friends in a motel, she said she’s with her friends family but the more I think about it, your friends trailer park family just decided to go get a hotel on the other side of the state for one night for no reason and you ignored me all day until you were at the motel at night? 
 

am I crazy

[poorlittlefish]

Your girlfriend has basically broken up with you but hasn't had the guts to actually tell you.  Maybe she's hoping that behaving so badly towards you, you'll end the relationship.  Look at everything you've written here.  Does this sound like someone who's invested in you or cares about you at all?  She is keeping you dangling on a string until she hooks up with your replacement (I would be very surprised if she hasn't already hooked up with others).  Please get rid of this girl: you deserve so much better.

[Wiseman2]

4 hours ago, younginstaycool said:

. This was about three months ago, and we’ve seen each other only maybe 6 times since and not at all in the past three weeks. 

Sorry this is happening. It seems like you dodged a bullet. The relationship wasn't working out and sounds quite toxic. It seems like the breakup happened when she "went ballistic and blocked you".

Please don't allow anyone to isolate, track or monitor you like this. Delete and block her and all her people from ALL your social media and messaging apps and ask your friends and family to block her as well. 

Set yourself free from this. 

[Batya33]

6 hours ago, younginstaycool said:

o reiterate, Im serious when I say I couldn’t leave my house for like two years without being blown up on and accused of all types of things, and the most I do is say “where r u?” or ask “please don’t go to the bar that late and ignore me,” or “just let me know before you leave and that u made it home safe” and she’ll tell me I’m a overbearing loser boyfriend, call me names (retard, loser, fag, etc.). I will try to tell her I understand if u need space I would just appreciate if we could talk or hang out at least every once in a while and that it hurts me because I was NOT allowed to have space. 

You could leave.  You chose not to. Why? What benefit did you get out of her treatment of you? Did you feel "loved" and cared for with her controlling ways? There are benefits to being controlled - you get to have excuses as to why you "can't" go out. I had friends like that who would break plans because the Boyfriend Called and she had to go over to his house and help him watch paint dry, etc.  

[smackie9]

She's acting toxic...that's all the proof you need to end this relationship.