Long distance relationship issues

[ivana24]

Hello everyone,

I'm from Croatia and I am 24.

My boyfriend and me are in relationship for about 2 years now but he left in different country for work so we call each other almost every day on  regular phone call or video call. Yesterday I came back from work and I had a terrible headache so I took 2 pills and wanted to have a nap.Usually my nap is for about 2 hours but yesterday I fall asleep at 7 p.m and I overslept until 2 a.m. My boyfriend called me many times, more that 100 ( I counted missed calls ) and he is still mad I would say about it.You will ask why...beacause when I'm at work i put my phone on silent and I forgot to turn it off silent so I wasn't hear a phone ringing at all. He doesn't respond to my messages today and I can understand but because of what? Because I was tired,had a headache and went to sleep. He told me in the messages last night that he thinks something happend to me,or someone maybe attack me or I commit suicide maybe ( because I went through some depression past weeks ) or I went out cheating on him. He told all of that when I was still peacefully sleeping. So please tell me what should I do next? I don't really know, I'm done with all his paranoid thinking,he drives me crazy the whole past week with same ***. Should I break up with him? I know he would not respond to me the whole day today and maybe tomorrow I don't know so I know he wouldn't talk about this. He said he would take a revange on me beacuse of this. Please tell me something usefull,what should I do?

[Wiseman2]

16 minutes ago, ivana24 said:

 I'm done with all his paranoid thinking,he drives me crazy the whole past week with same ***. . He said he would take a revange on me beacuse of this. 

Sorry this is happening. How long will he be away for? How far apart are you?  What is the possibility of the relationship continuing with the distance? 

How is the relationship overall? Was he paranoid jealous or possessive in the past?

All you can do is communicate more effectively. For example if you are going to sleep, send a text that you're not feeling well and your phone will be off. 

What does he mean by "take revenge"?  If he is usually this abusive and controlling, this would be a good time to end things. Tell him it's not working out then delete and block him. 

[ivana24]

6 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

All you can do is communicate more effectively. For example if you are going to sleep, send a text that you're not feeling well and your phone will be off. 

What does he mean by "take revenge"?  If he is usually this abusive and controlling, this would be a good time to end things. Tell him it's not working out then delete and block him. 

No we can't communicate because he is not serious enough,he often rolls his eyes on problems and turn his voice up on me.

Always push me to do things that maybe I don't want to and if I decide not to do it he often tells me that I don't know how to have fun. Like ***? I was sick for about a month and a half,he wasn't beside me and take care of me and after that I lost my previous job and when he want to give me some money he gives me only for rent,bills and little bit for food but I wasn't working at that time so I need some more. 

And yes,he is usually abusive,always tells me what to do and what not to do.I'm tired of all that but still..I love him and it will be hard for me if we break up even I know it is the best decision I can make.

[Batya33]

He sounds extremely controlling.  If you had a specific appointment to talk at night then maybe tell him in advance next time "I'm going to take a short nap but if I sleep longer I'll talk to you later/tomorrow" so he doesn't worry.  It's extremely concerning that he assumed you were cheating on him.  What's that all about?

[Kwothe28]

2 hours ago, ivana24 said:

I know he would not respond to me the whole day today and maybe tomorrow I don't know so I know he wouldn't talk about this. He said he would take a revange on me beacuse of this.

So, Balkanoid in its natural habitat?

Get away from there Ivana. 100 calls is mad by itself. And threats like that can include physical violence later down the line.

[Deejmonster]

On 11/8/2023 at 5:30 AM, ivana24 said:

Hello everyone,

I'm from Croatia and I am 24.

My boyfriend and me are in relationship for about 2 years now but he left in different country for work so we call each other almost every day on  regular phone call or video call. Yesterday I came back from work and I had a terrible headache so I took 2 pills and wanted to have a nap.Usually my nap is for about 2 hours but yesterday I fall asleep at 7 p.m and I overslept until 2 a.m. My boyfriend called me many times, more that 100 ( I counted missed calls ) and he is still mad I would say about it.You will ask why...beacause when I'm at work i put my phone on silent and I forgot to turn it off silent so I wasn't hear a phone ringing at all. He doesn't respond to my messages today and I can understand but because of what? Because I was tired,had a headache and went to sleep. He told me in the messages last night that he thinks something happend to me,or someone maybe attack me or I commit suicide maybe ( because I went through some depression past weeks ) or I went out cheating on him. He told all of that when I was still peacefully sleeping. So please tell me what should I do next? I don't really know, I'm done with all his paranoid thinking,he drives me crazy the whole past week with same ***. Should I break up with him? I know he would not respond to me the whole day today and maybe tomorrow I don't know so I know he wouldn't talk about this. He said he would take a revange on me beacuse of this. Please tell me something usefull,what should I do?

I would run. Take the time to heal and move on while he is away. He sounds very possessive and insecure about the situation and calling a SO 100 times shows the lack of boundaries. A logical person doesn't land on suicide or cheating as the reason why you aren't answering your phone. I would break it off and move on.