Thought I Knew Pain

[EitherDare0]

I’ve now found the only thing worse than loving someone, being with them, and losing them is…. Loving someone but simply always have it a what if. Never being enough. 
 

Yes I know it boils down to self respect and self love and not allowing someone to have that agency over me when they’re not willing to commit. Sometimes our hearts want what our mind knows is horrible. 
 

It’s especially cruel when you’ve let someone be. You’ve let them go. Then they can’t help but reach out to you. With someone else a proxy bc you blocked them. They have to talk to you in person. You tell them how painfully hard it is to see or hear from them but you’re willing to allow them that if it helps them heal.

They then have you over smiling ear to ear, dress up nicely, and proceeding to pour their heart out to you. Talk about how many things remind them of you. They dream of you. They beg you to come back into their life. Terrified of being hurt but knowing you want nothing more then to be with them, you do it. “If you love them let them go and if they come back…” am I right? Wrong!
 

Til a few weeks later they “need space” from you and can’t be around you bc there has been too much trauma and damage THAT THEY caused you. And they need to wipe the slate clean bc they’ve hurt you so much they feel guilty and can’t be around it. They can’t lay in the mess they helped make  

Now you’re left picking up the pieces with your scars torn wide open. Months long of healing gone.  Yet you have nobody to blame but yourself bc you knew the history and how they’d do this to you. Like and addict chasing their fix
 

Shoot me. (Metaphorically) 

[Kwothe28]

59 minutes ago, EitherDare0 said:

Yet you have nobody to blame but yourself

Well, at least you have that insight about yourself.

You proritized your feelings over common sense. Are you really surprized that somebody who showed you they are unreliable partner, was an unreliable partner that turned their back on you first chance they got?

Take it as a lesson and dont ignore common sense next time. 

[Cherylyn]

Live and learn the hard way which is always the best way and best education. 

Everyone says,  "I wish I knew then what I know now."  🙄

You'll be better prepared in the future and will navigate your life wisely.  You'll be better adept at sound decision making.  This is what life's lessons taught you.