Taylor99 Posted July 11, 2023 Share Posted July 11, 2023 Been married 20 years. Think we are in the best place we have been. Just bought a brand new custom home and things are great. Friday the 14th is her 44th birthday she says she booked herself a free room at the local casino to stay by herself on Thursday night. When I ask why she said so she can get up and do a me day Friday, when I said I’ll stay Thursday night with you she said no. I said we are only 20 minutes from there why stay the night she said because I have to work and since we are not going away like we usually do. Then she says I’m not meeting anyone if that’s what you’re thinking, which it is obv. so my question is this normal ? She has never done this, is clearly keeping me away, is she meeting someone and how do I handle this emotionally as I’m not taking this well Link to comment
SooSad33 Posted July 11, 2023 Share Posted July 11, 2023 Hi Taylor, I guess you just leave her to it. Nothing much you can do.. right? Then try not to pry into it too much & make her feel guilt, etc. How about plans for her b-day, asides from that? Are you two planning on a nice meal out & about or anything? Link to comment
Taylor99 Posted July 11, 2023 Author Share Posted July 11, 2023 Yes we are doing wine tasting at a winery we have a membership too then dinner and getting her a spa day 🙂 I told her she is free to do what she wants and make her own choices I don’t control or demand I don’t do that. I don’t own her, but I do feel respect is needed and boundaries held too so we’ll see what she does. Link to comment
waffle Posted July 11, 2023 Share Posted July 11, 2023 1 hour ago, Taylor99 said: Been married 20 years. She has never done this After 20 years of constant togetherness she deserves a night to herself. 1 Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted July 11, 2023 Share Posted July 11, 2023 1 hour ago, Taylor99 said: she booked herself a free room at the local casino to stay by herself on Thursday night. It's ok for her to take a spa day. What do you mean by "free" room? Was this some sort of thing she won? Link to comment
Taylor99 Posted July 11, 2023 Author Share Posted July 11, 2023 Yea she gets free rooms because of the slot machines comps Link to comment
smackie9 Posted July 11, 2023 Share Posted July 11, 2023 And why not take advantage of that? I think it's a good thing to make a change and try something new. Some me time is important. It's healthy. Link to comment
Taylor99 Posted July 11, 2023 Author Share Posted July 11, 2023 Yea and I have to work, guess I’m over analyzing this. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted July 11, 2023 Share Posted July 11, 2023 54 minutes ago, Taylor99 said: Yea she gets free rooms because of the slot machines comps Is she a regular at the casino? Are you concerned she's cheating/meeting someone? Are you concerned she has a gambling habit? If it's just a sort of spa day there's probably nothing to worry about. Link to comment
lostandhurt Posted July 11, 2023 Share Posted July 11, 2023 I don't see anything wrong with what she planned for herself but her reaction to your questions has my spidey sense going off. Let it go but keep your eyes and ears wide open just in case. Don't ask any more questions or say anything, just watch and see if anything seems off. There is a reason you came here and posted so that tells me your gut is telling you something. Pay attention, could be something or could be absolutely nothing. Lost PS Does she gamble alone or with friends? 3 Link to comment
shouldhavelearned Posted July 12, 2023 Share Posted July 12, 2023 Not sure it's normal considering it's on her birthday. Maybe if it was some other day Link to comment
Taylor99 Posted July 12, 2023 Author Share Posted July 12, 2023 19 hours ago, Wiseman2 said: Is she a regular at the casino? Are you concerned she's cheating/meeting someone? Are you concerned she has a gambling habit? If it's just a sort of spa day there's probably nothing to worry about. No she goes once or twice a month. She had an affair 13 years ago so when a flag happens I obv go to that Link to comment
Taylor99 Posted July 12, 2023 Author Share Posted July 12, 2023 18 hours ago, lostandhurt said: I don't see anything wrong with what she planned for herself but her reaction to your questions has my spidey sense going off. Let it go but keep your eyes and ears wide open just in case. Don't ask any more questions or say anything, just watch and see if anything seems off. There is a reason you came here and posted so that tells me your gut is telling you something. Pay attention, could be something or could be absolutely nothing. Lost PS Does she gamble alone or with friends? Alone. Couple times a month only. To relax. That’s pretty normal for her Link to comment
lostandhurt Posted July 13, 2023 Share Posted July 13, 2023 12 hours ago, Taylor99 said: No she goes once or twice a month. She had an affair 13 years ago so when a flag happens I obv go to that So 7 years into your marriage she cheated. I totally get why you are uncomfortable about this. Like I said keep your eyes and ears wide open and IF anything is going on it will show up. Secretive with her phone, new clothes, lost weight, preoccupied with unusual things, new friend and on and on. You know the drill. Hopefully it is nothing Lost Link to comment
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