GettingOverIt Posted June 6, 2005 Share Posted June 6, 2005 In another post, sweetdreamer posed this question: What I don't understand is why do we need to feel the pain to help us grow!? I was going to respond, started to respond, but halfway through realized that I don't know the answer either... Why in the blankety-blank *DO* we have to go through so much pain in order for us to 'grow?' Link to comment
heloladies21 Posted June 6, 2005 Share Posted June 6, 2005 Pain helps me not to be so naive. It also helps the good times to feel better. Link to comment
punchy504 Posted June 6, 2005 Share Posted June 6, 2005 pain and good feelings are indicators to us of good things or bad things, helps us learn, just like a rabbit who eats something, and then gets sick- it won't eat that again. Link to comment
volution Posted June 6, 2005 Share Posted June 6, 2005 When you have nothing but pain after pain after pain after pain after pain after pain after pain after pain after pain... ...you eventually become desensitised to life... ...you can't enjoy anything anymore... This is what has happened to me... Nothing makes me jump for joy anymore... Nothing inspires me anymore... I can see no joy in anything. I can see no goodness in anything anymore. All that was good inside me has been burned away by the pain. Nothing remains but a hollow, empty shell, I feel like a zombie, mindlessly wandering the wastelands of my life... So it's not true that pain makes you grow... It just wastes you down... It washes away the illusions, and reveals your true self... Then perhaps you can do something to overcome the pain with that self-realisation. But gentle souls, they don't stand a chance, they become even more corroded away by yet more pain, they can't stop it, they can't help it. Eventually it leads them to the depths of depression, and eventually, as probably I will end up soon, suicide... Link to comment
Falucchi Posted June 6, 2005 Share Posted June 6, 2005 volution- sounds like you need some help. Get some therapy or see a doctor. they can't stop it, they can't help it.? Sure they can! get some help Link to comment
valenski Posted June 6, 2005 Share Posted June 6, 2005 I think pain is one of the ways we deal with our emotions especially strong emotions. Its a counter balance as one else said, without it there would be no joy, another thing about pain is that when you've gone though it, everything seems a little better, after your period of grief, things just feel brighter. It feels like a fresh start but thats my opinion. Link to comment
lifeiscash Posted June 6, 2005 Share Posted June 6, 2005 Pain is only weakness leaving the body Link to comment
Agrajag Posted June 6, 2005 Share Posted June 6, 2005 Excellent topic! I've often wondered this myself. Some people just insist they put themselves through something when they know it's avoidable. I hear them say to me, "I need to learn my own way." You don't need to do it to learn from it. Why put yourself through the pain. It's like, I'm not going to cheat on my girlfriend to learn that it's wrong/will hurt them/lose them/make life harder for me/etc. Duh! Link to comment
JynX Posted June 6, 2005 Share Posted June 6, 2005 I think pain is what gains people their maturity and wisdom. I've noticed that those of my friends and even myself are a lot more mature due to family problems and other serious issues happening, than those who've never had much stress and pain in their lives. Without pain you wouldnt know happiness and joy. Pain is what shapes our character, more or less...because how we react and cope with pain affects us and how we act. JyNx Link to comment
sidehop Posted June 6, 2005 Share Posted June 6, 2005 Chemically speaking, if someone has relatively no experience or have not been hurt in the past, the body itself doesn't know what it's like. The nerves are connected in so many sophisticated ways we don't exactly understand but one pain develops a connection between, say a certain individual if the relationship ended bad. It also associates other things like girls in general, the gift you gave her, the places you've gone together and every details for the body to recognize & understand how this 'pain' came about. The more pain & suffering people go through, the body knows what to expect, what's right or wrong as well as when to back off to avoid the pain again. It's something everyone goes through and eventually you'll start to know what you honestly want to avoid the pain and suffering...the nerves need to develop and create a 'map' like direction within your body to understand the pain but also will protect you in the future as time goes by... I hope I made sense Link to comment
playfull06 Posted June 7, 2005 Share Posted June 7, 2005 I really don't see the good in having the pain. I think it is just another way to knock us down and to try and keep us there. If you can get up from the pain Then congrats! Yet what is the point because you will only be knocked back down. It's just a constant fight that I am all to well familiar with. It does make the " good" better but it is a short term feeling. The pain lingers and stays. So I really don't know the point of having pain in order to grow.... Link to comment
sweetdreamer Posted June 7, 2005 Share Posted June 7, 2005 I didn't realize this would be a good topic, and it is!!! Thank-you for posting it. I question that all the time but when I think about it and come to my answer...I thank God for giving me this experience because this helps to grow and gain wisdom and knowledge. However, at times I wish the unbearable pain does not exist so, we don't have to feel it. But if we don't have the feeling of this pain, then how do we know who we really are. The ones who allow themselves to feel the pain and help them to overcome it helps them to grow and become a stronger person. I feel pity and sad for the ones who uses substances because they don't allow them to feel it. We should always remember to be thankful for having the experiences in life because you wouldn't be who you are today. Link to comment
brando Posted June 7, 2005 Share Posted June 7, 2005 "Pain is for sissy boys." socalguy.. do you honestly believe this, and how far in life do you think you will get without ever experiencing any pain??? It is a part of life, it lets me know i am human and alive. And it is temporary. Link to comment
volution Posted June 7, 2005 Share Posted June 7, 2005 Unrequited love invalidates that quote... All the love that I have felt in my life, has been unrequited... What a waste... I cannot help it when I've fallen in love with someone... Perhaps I fell in love with an image once or twice, perhaps it wasn't love, perhaps anything... Well, who knows what is love anyway? I've lost half my life to loving... - You never lose by loving, you always lose by holding back - volution- sounds like you need some help. Get some therapy or see a doctor. they can't stop it, they can't help it.? Sure they can! get some help I've been seeing a counsellor every week for the past 5 weeks. I've also seen a mental health doctor 2 times (once yesterday). They aren't helping... No-one can help this malaise of my soul... Virtually all doctors and health people in the Western world just think that all ails are cured by drugs to disable the body/brain... So many people end up feeble useless wrecks the rest of their lives, for taking 'anti-depressants' and 'lithium' and other things, not to mention the drug-addicts... The pain I have is inside, inner-pain. I don't have much choice but to continue hitting myself when things get bad, and to contemplate just ending it all often... Link to comment
BlueJavelins Posted June 7, 2005 Share Posted June 7, 2005 Pain. . . It's testing the strong ones It's scarring the beautiful ones It's holding the loved ones, one last time It's also Teaching us how much more we can take Reminding us how far we've come -from copeland Album "Beneath Medicine Tree" Link to comment
starion Posted June 7, 2005 Share Posted June 7, 2005 Volution, what do you have to lose by trying anti-depressants??? you say you want to end your life, why not try EVERYTHING possible to help, you can always just end your life. what you have is a pretty bad case of depression, probably extremely severe one. A counselor will not help you and only TWO visits to mental doctor is really not enough. You must have causes for you depression but even if you don't know them, the drugs CAN help. Yes, there maybe side-effects, yes there may be a weird few days when you start taking them but they will help, if not these particular ones, then some other ones will. There are other ways out, one involves luck, the other involves balls. If you have balls to end your life you just may have balls for this one. The one that involves luck has to do with you meeting a person that will help, either through a relationships or friendship. The other one involves you take a more survival approach. You take the bare minimum with you(in terms of things) and preferably none. You take a one - way ticket to amazon jungle or anywhere else but very remote. And you survive just like all our anscestors did in prehistoric age. I can guarantee you that they didn't have depression and this "pain". Other types of pain, sure, but these modern age "pains", no way You will be so busy fighting to survive that you will have no time for all this stuff. What??? you say it is crazy??? then my friend you are not ready to give up your life just yet. Link to comment
Agrajag Posted June 7, 2005 Share Posted June 7, 2005 Pain is what shapes our character, more or less...because how we react and cope with pain affects us and how we act. What if it's a foreseeable and avoidable case? Should we go ahead with it? Link to comment
brando Posted June 7, 2005 Share Posted June 7, 2005 Why do we have to go through pain, I guess it is like muscles, if you work out to strengthen muscles, you will be soar because of the tearing and rebuilding of the muscles..same with emotions, it is a workout in a sense, feeling new things, joyful and blissful, without the pain in our lives we would all be emotionally unbalanced people. I think the pain we feel through our lives does shape our character, depending also on how you handle it. But it is also being aware of the pain we cause other people...to teach us to teat others as we treat ourselves. I believe pain is a normal part of living and growing and learning to be humane to others. I also believe sometimes some of us( i am aware of my generalizations) continue to stay stuck in that pain,probably because we don't know another way of living.. sad, changeable, but true. Link to comment
JynX Posted June 8, 2005 Share Posted June 8, 2005 Agrajag- In my opinion, even if pain is foreseeable and avoidable, people still do whatever it is that's going to get them hurt more often than not. It's basically the same as telling a little kid to not touch a stove because it'll be hot and burn. Does he listen? No, no matter how many times you tell him, he still reaches up for that hot stove, gets burned, and never does it again. Why? Because sometimes it's no use having all the facts in front of you. Some people only learn from their own mistakes; not from listening to others. So if the pain is foreseeable and avoidable, should we go ahead with it? That depends on the person. Some will avoid it; others will go right through it. JyNx Link to comment
socalguy123 Posted June 8, 2005 Share Posted June 8, 2005 "Pain is for sissy boys." socalguy.. do you honestly believe this, and how far in life do you think you will get without ever experiencing any pain??? It is a part of life, it lets me know i am human and alive. And it is temporary. This was a joke... Ha-ha. Seriously, I think everyone here can appreciate pain. It's a useful tool, if you decide to learn from it. It can be unending torture, if you don't. Making decisions is the act of growth, of adulthood. Cheers! Link to comment
Agrajag Posted June 8, 2005 Share Posted June 8, 2005 Yeah that too People seem to do both. They listen to SOME things they're told. it only seems when they think it won't hurt "that much" or is "reversible" that they're do it anyways. I was once trying to explain something to a friend to NOT get themselves involved in something - they wouldn't listen until they relaized they would be hurt for life, not just something to get over. Do you know what I mean? Link to comment
JynX Posted June 8, 2005 Share Posted June 8, 2005 I guess some people just think "well if it hurt him so much, I'm stronger, so it wont be that painful for me". I dont know why some never listen to others who speak from experience; maybe it has something to do with their pride. I understand what you mean on that. But once again, our character determines how we react to what we're told. We either listen or we let it blow by unnoticed. I also think that if a person's been through a lot of pain before, through past experiences, they're more willing to listen to others and save themselves some trouble. JyNx Link to comment
GettingOverIt Posted June 8, 2005 Author Share Posted June 8, 2005 I had no idea what kind of conversation this was going to start, so I want to thank Sweetdreamer for posing the question!!! I think it depends on the person, as to what they have to endure themselves, Jynx... Yeah, it would be great if we all could take what other people have gone through and say "Well, if that's what's going to happened, then I'm not doing it!" And sometimes, we do that. I really wish I knew why we would choose to put ourselves through so much pain... I think sometimes, we don't think it will end the same way as it has for others, so we forge ahead. Sometimes, after the pain is over, we actually feel as though the pain was worth whatever benefit we received afterward... I dunno.. After reading all these responses, I'm still not sure why we have to go through pain in order to grow... ;-) Maybe it is something we each have to figure out for ourselves, and then hopefully learn from it so we don't make the same mistakes that we made before, or make the same mistakes others have made before us.... Link to comment
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