Psychology behind social media

[Batya33]

10 hours ago, greendots said:

I don't get that either. I wish people would be more considerate and sensible when dealing with someone else's personal information. I remember in the early days of social media I was a bit more liberal but over time you grow and learn how to respect and protect that which you care for the most.

 

Interesting perspective! Hadn't thought about that. Who am I as per my social media? Most likely, fiction. My life as per my lack of posts is non existent, hehe.

 

Yikes! I heard plenty of stories about other's apparent blissful life in front of the camera that behind the scenes is actually quite shocking. I wonder, why don't we focus our energy on improving our actual "real" life instead of curating our fictional online one?

 

You hear though social media users complaining–even on here–how their partner didn't like their post but liked someone else's and then they get upset. How society is changing and the way we present ourselves online is now having an impact on our real life relationships.

 

Fascinating stuff, really. You guys gave us plenty to think about. Thanks for sharing your thoughts! Please keep them coming. 😀

I mean to me the whole "he liked her post/not mine" is a mountain out of a molehill but I completely understand the issues if someone is posting publicly about personal matters in a relationship (without the spouse being ok about it) etc.

My husband had a major work accomplishment and between learning of it and it being public was a few weeks.  He told me not to mention it until it was public and carved out exceptions -like - my mother, certain of our friends, etc. 

I honored his request 100% even though I actually do trust more people than that to be discreet and I could have commented on a thread I am on on FB where you share "one good thing" of the day some generic reference -but my respect for him, my loyalty -took precedence over my desire to do a generic "husband has good work news coming!" because of the remote possibility it could lead to revealing his information before it was public.

  I simply don't see any other way of behaving and I cringe regularly at what people reveal in photos (like "here we are on Spring Break!" meaning "woo hoo our house is empty this week -come on all you porch pirates/robbers/wanna be burglars -have at it!!!") or comments.

[boltnrun]

The ones who really get to me are those who want to get into debates over social media. They actually seek out conflict deliberately. And if they don't find it they try to create it. 

I know I'm not going to change anyone's mind. I don't even try to. I don't need everyone to agree with me. If someone disagrees with me I don't respond with multiple paragraphs restating my opinion. And since I don't try to change people's opinions I would really like it if they would respect me enough to not try to change mine. I've had people demand to know why I think or feel a certain way and I just say something like "I'm not going to debate you. I feel differently and that's OK."

I think it's interesting to have different points of view. Of course I think some opinions are harmful and create division. But it's great that people are so different and have different experiences. I think life would be boring if we all had the exact same beliefs and opinions. There's no need to create conflict or get into arguments or insult others who have different opinions. 

[Batya33]

11 hours ago, boltnrun said:

The ones who really get to me are those who want to get into debates over social media. They actually seek out conflict deliberately. And if they don't find it they try to create it. 

I know I'm not going to change anyone's mind. I don't even try to. I don't need everyone to agree with me. If someone disagrees with me I don't respond with multiple paragraphs restating my opinion. And since I don't try to change people's opinions I would really like it if they would respect me enough to not try to change mine. I've had people demand to know why I think or feel a certain way and I just say something like "I'm not going to debate you. I feel differently and that's OK."

I think it's interesting to have different points of view. Of course I think some opinions are harmful and create division. But it's great that people are so different and have different experiences. I think life would be boring if we all had the exact same beliefs and opinions. There's no need to create conflict or get into arguments or insult others who have different opinions. 

And I don't get the need to share opinions publicly on social media -often it makes me question the person's motives and even the reason for their opinion particularly in highly sensitive topics.

[greendots]

On 3/26/2023 at 6:38 AM, Batya33 said:

like "here we are on Spring Break!" meaning "woo hoo our house is empty this week -come on all you porch pirates/robbers/wanna be burglars -have at it!!!

Hahaha, I hadn't thought of that. Best to keep mum until you're back home.

 

On 3/26/2023 at 6:39 PM, boltnrun said:

I think it's interesting to have different points of view. Of course I think some opinions are harmful and create division. But it's great that people are so different and have different experiences. I think life would be boring if we all had the exact same beliefs and opinions. There's no need to create conflict or get into arguments or insult others who have different opinions. 

Totally agree that! I remember someone asking asking for your opinion but then they got upset that it didn't align with theirs lol. Happens here sometimes too.

Well, I am certainly glad that around the Y2K social media wasn't such a big thing yet. Back then you were able to get away with some shenanigans. 😉

Remember MySpace? The place where some bands got their first big break.

[Batya33]

9 hours ago, greendots said:

Hahaha, I hadn't thought of that. Best to keep mum until you're back home.

 

Totally agree that! I remember someone asking asking for your opinion but then they got upset that it didn't align with theirs lol. Happens here sometimes too.

Well, I am certainly glad that around the Y2K social media wasn't such a big thing yet. Back then you were able to get away with some shenanigans. 😉

Remember MySpace? The place where some bands got their first big break.

Yes I remember Myspace and Friendster!! 

Of course people are looking to see who leaves an empty home especially if someone doesn't know all their friends personally.  I remember all the upclose photos too of engagement rings and cringed.  Plus the proud mama friend of mine who posted that she'd be out with her toddler in his brand new outfit at X block at X time -leaving her lovely apartment empty and of course telling everyone where she and her baby could be seen and/or targeted.  Nope.  Not being paranoid. 

Same reason I didn't have my kid's name monogrammed on his backpack so a stranger couldn't call to him and pretend to know him. Easy stuff to avoid unless you're a person starved for social media attention.

[boltnrun]

Also remember nothing is private! Someone posted on here about their ex wife seeing something they posted in what they thought was a private group. Problem is, if someone comments on that post that person's friends will see it. And if THEY comment, THEIR friends will see it. And so on and so on. And anything can be screen shot and posted elsewhere. I never post anything I wouldn't want a certain person or group to see because of course they will see it!

If there's something that could even be remotely controversial I send it in a text. And even then I need to be sure the person who receives it won't send it to someone else or post it to a social media platform. I participate actively in protests but never post pics on social media of the events in case someone tries to manipulate it in some way. 

Err on the side of caution is my motto!

[greendots]

On 3/28/2023 at 8:33 AM, boltnrun said:

Also remember nothing is private!

Yup, I wish people would be more cautious and would protect their privacy. You guys spoke some truths that have been revealed to be very accurate. This one famous couple that I genuinely thought had a solid relationship, as they'd been together for 10+ years, broke up. What glitters on the screen isn't always gold and you never know what's happening behind closed doors. Doesn't help that the media is up in their grill. Why can't the media give them some peace.

I usually could care less about what's going on in the world of social media and celebrities, but somehow I've been engrossed lately by the psychology behind it–why heaps of people are more protective of their image and perception of self as opposed to their real self/real life and how the media feeds off the plenty of viewers dying to consume virtual tabloids.

 

 

 

[Cherylyn]

On 2/20/2023 at 2:05 PM, greendots said:

Why do people feel the need to share posts or stories about their daily life on social media? What is the psychology behind it? What does it say about that person?

What's your take on this?

Hope you're having an awesome day! 😄

People post because they seek approval,  validation and attention.   Or, they're up for the challenge of debating and unfortunately,  I've witnessed how ugly confrontations can get.   

Or, they take one or a few words out of context and blow it out of proportion.  It's a good way to make fast enemies. 

Or, it creates awkwardness at the next encounter especially if you were to see them in person. 

I remember a time when I commented on the weather of all topics which you would think was quite innocuous subject matter.  Then my sister let me have it by lambasting how "embarrassing" my innocent comment was to her friends.  Unbelievable.  Her hair triggers are off the charts.  Must be the ogre whom she married and her being in the throws of menopause. 🙄

For my sister, she's quite the narcissist.  She brags and boasts by uploading thousands of pics regarding how glorious her life is yet fails to reveal the real dirt such as the jerk whom she married.  Her husband publicly humiliates my sister at every turn,  downgrades and hurts everyone socially.  Privately, it is worse.  Their poor 3 children have to be exposed to that.  No one is spared his boorish behavior.  My SIL (my husband's sister) is the same.  Her husband has the same "mouth problem" yet she fires away on FB bragging about how wonderful her life is.  Her husband curses with four letter words and spews foul language with abandon.  After all these years, my husband and I know what they deliberately conceal which is embarrassing and shameful.  It's deceitful.

I've noticed some people whom I see regularly, are rather demure publicly and quite pleasant to be with.  Then bam!  Whoa! 😧 On social media they blast away with their hardcore political views, post vulgar or racist political memes and demonstrate their ugly characters.  Other friends are religious zealots by cramming their tenets down your throat whereas in person, they exercise discretion.  Jekkyl 'n Hyde, two-faced characters come out which is alarming and disdainful.  I suddenly don't possess my former good impressions of them anymore.  Distrust is imbedded in my brain.  I don't forget how they really are which is very disappointing because I thought they were better than that.  It's not a matter of hiding them either.  I already know what I know which causes me to lose respect for them. 

My take on this?   I'm no longer on FB.  I couldn't care less what these friends, relatives and in-laws do during every waking hour on any given day.  I must say it feels quite liberating and what a huge time saver.  I can actually do something old-fashioned such as being productive and industrious at the home front instead.  The Internet / social media turns into a huge time trap. ☹️  Before you know it,  the day jams up and gets away from you.

I've discovered that whenever I'm with local in-laws, relatives and friends,  there is more catching up to do because we don't know what we've been doing.  Hence, socializing with them is "fresher" and more entertaining.  Our conversations are more interesting since we have a lot of updated news.  Despite this Internet Age and social media,  I've found that there are times when old-fashioned socializing has never lots its spark. 

For example, several of my local friends and I sipped hot tea at a park recently and it was wonderful to have a conversation without being overly familiar with every minutiae for the past several weeks or months since our last visit.  The conversation was more interesting and new as opposed to:  "Oh, I know everything about you for the last several weeks and months.  Ho hum."  Whatever we discussed was refreshing and new;  not stale. 

For friends and family who reside faraway,  I've lost interest in them.  I find it to be quite boring actually.  I don't care.  I prefer to focus on my own daily life.

As for me, I don't post anything.  I don't need to.  I'm content doing my own thing.  I've noticed that I prefer to create an aura of mystery about me.  Whenever I'm with people socially, I'm more interesting to them because they don't know anything about me. 

Too much familiarity breeds contempt.  🙄 🤨

  Ignorance is bliss. 😊 😉

 

[greendots]

22 hours ago, Cherylyn said:

Ignorance is bliss. 😊 😉

Yup, fully agree with that sentence. Thanks for sharing all your thoughts on the subject! You had hinted on some of it before.

 

On 3/28/2023 at 7:44 AM, Batya33 said:

Yes I remember Myspace and Friendster!! 

🤩 Oooh, how everything has changed!

[Cherylyn]

@greendots 🥰 💗

[Cherylyn]

@eastcoastgirl    😆

[TheRawTruth]

I can't speak on why THAT'S important, but I wish there was more substantial conversation on Facebook rather than memes and video shares. I prefer real discussions more than the fluff that most users post.

[Batya33]

9 hours ago, TheRawTruth said:

I can't speak on why THAT'S important, but I wish there was more substantial conversation on Facebook rather than memes and video shares. I prefer real discussions more than the fluff that most users post.

I choose to do really substantial conversations through FB messenger or we take it to text or calls etc.  Even though they start on public posts (I did that two days ago on the subject of women's body image/eating disorders).  Sometimes I give personal advice on my mom groups.  I scroll by the fluff just like I would on a news site or on linkedin, etc.  

I also think it depends if you are in FB groups -I'm in two involving readers and writers.  90% or more of the posts are of substance/meaningful -even if not to me -i.e. a genre I don't read/an author I'm not that interested in.

[TheRawTruth]

On 4/8/2023 at 7:02 AM, Batya33 said:

I choose to do really substantial conversations through FB messenger or we take it to text or calls etc.  Even though they start on public posts (I did that two days ago on the subject of women's body image/eating disorders).  Sometimes I give personal advice on my mom groups.  I scroll by the fluff just like I would on a news site or on linkedin, etc.  

I also think it depends if you are in FB groups -I'm in two involving readers and writers.  90% or more of the posts are of substance/meaningful -even if not to me -i.e. a genre I don't read/an author I'm not that interested in.

I think that part is normal. Or, a little different, rather. That's private 1 on 1 chat between you and one other person. I'm speaking more about what we see on public posts for everyone to join in on. Taking it to messenger after that is fine but the issue is getting a good Facebook discussion started in the first place so that it CAN progress to messenger. I don't even see as much of a general discussion on FB as I'd like. There's SOME, but like you said, maybe not things that would interest us personally.

Yes. Those are the kind of groups I like. But even those are few and far between these days. I have heard that mom groups are better but, I'm clearly not a mom so I'm not in those lol. I am in a couple that have all written posts/topics though, which I like.

[Batya33]

8 hours ago, TheRawTruth said:

Yes. Those are the kind of groups I like. But even those are few and far between these days. I have heard that mom groups are better but, I'm clearly not a mom so I'm not in those lol. I am in a couple that have all written posts/topics though, which I like.

I'm now in two FB groups for readers and writers (I'm a reader -I do writing but my main interest in these groups is chatting about books and I made a really close online friend in this way and we talk about lots of stuff now other than books -she is a real treasure and it would be so awesome to meet in person one day).  I'm in another one for professional women, and another started by an author/blogger who is a mom but her posts are about lots of topics.