Still missing my Ex G/F. Good idea or bad idea?

[mazxs]

Hi everyone, it's been a long time. Since i spoke to you all.

 

Been away. Where to start!. mmm

 

My Ex g/f ( Call her D for point of referance) dumped me back in Nov 03. After hving to choose between my sister and her. My sister had tried to comit suicide,after having an abortion (not much of a choice. have child and possibly die. Or have abortion and live) and my ex g/f was her gran died. Had to chosse between the two.

 

Well my x was got engaged to this other bloke, but that stopped like 6 months in to their so called relationship. She has since been with 1 other bloke who just used her for sex, and then dumped her.

 

I found this out from my friends and some of hers, telling me what happened to her.

 

So it's been 19 months since we where together (but hay who's counting

Right.

 

This it the main problem. I'm still in love with her It's not just because of the fear of being alone. I have had a few dates. Nothing major. My problem is that i can't seam to D out of my head. Still so much in love with her.?

 

She still ask's my friends, if i'm ok, and how i'm doing at my job, family and my health are.

 

The quick question is do i still have a chance of having her back in my life. As i still dream, and long for her to be with me?

 

DO I CALL Her, ask her out for coffee? Or what. Any suggestions please.

[Elite]

If she made you choose between her and your sister, then there was obviously no choice. Family is always going to be there, g/f and b/f come and go...............not sure what you mean by choose, could you please give a little more detail. Did you choose to be with your sis instead of her while her gran died, or was it your g/f friend did not like what your sis did so she made you choose?

[chai714]

She still ask's my friends, if i'm ok, and how i'm doing at my job, family and my health are.

 

The quick question is do i still have a chance of having her back in my life. As i still dream, and long for her to be with me?

 

DO I CALL Her, ask her out for coffee? Or what. Any suggestions please.

 

It has been a while, so I suspect you aren't emotional about the breakup. If you can call her and come off as if you want nothing more than a friendship with her, then that would be good. You can't go confessing our love out of the blue. Remember, how you feel about her has nothing to do with getting her to want to come back. How you make her feel, is what matters.

 

When/if you call her, keep it light. Be vague in who you've seen, and what you've been doing. IF the conversation goes well, tell her that you like talking to her. See how she responds. I wouldn't ask for coffee on the first phone call. Build a little tension first on the phone, then you'll be able to feel her out to see if she's up for coffee.

 

*Do not tell her how you feel. It does not matter. How you make HER feel is what matters. It's very important to understand this concept before you contact her.

[mazxs]

No my X g/f gran died in the same week as my sister tried to kill her self.

 

I go so wrecked, having to choose between the two.

 

I'm thinking abot sending her a gift box.

 

A box with her fav film (Heathers) a winnie the pooh figure and some of her favourite soaps, the one that i used to buy for her when we where together.

 

What do u think?

[chai714]

No gifts. That is and will be seen as manipulative. You don't go "gifting" yourself back into someone's life. Save that for later down the road, if/when you're back with her.

[Falucchi]

What makes you think she wants to get back together with you, after 19 months away from you?

 

If you think because "she still ask's my friends, if i'm ok, and how i'm doing at my job, family and my health are" then I'd wonder if she's just being polite and making a purely social inquiry about someone (you) she knows.

[newts]

I would reccommend not contacting her for the simple fact that she broke up with you. She may ask your friends how you are, however, if she really wanted to know she would be asking you direct. Don't ever contact the dumper as this gives them more opportunities to know they can come back to you at any given point, which is unacceptable because most will come back because they feel alone not because they love you.

[Elite]

If it is meant to be it will, if not then it won't. Move on with your life and enjoy it, do not pine for her. There is a line where obsession begins, and you don't need to cross that line.