I (25F) might have feelings for my friend (27M)

[Questioningmyself]

I (25F) might have feelings for my friend (27M)

So I met this guy awhile ago at a music festival and we clicked really well as friends. I invited him to stay with me and some friends for the next festival and he agreed to come down, we had been texting each other all day between the two festivals and it was so easy spending time with him and he seems really attached to me. The last night we ended up cuddling on my bed alone because he was upset about how my other friends were being territorial over me (physical affection is pretty common in my friend group, but I don’t normally cuddle with guys and I never sleep in the same bed as them because I was assaulted in my sleep by a friend) We’ve traveled to each other a couple of times and spent time with each other (always with friends around) We still talk every day and I’ve told him things I’ve never told people and vice versa. At one point he had asked about that night we slept together (just slept) and I had just said I was comfortable with him and he was a good friend and he said he felt the same way. Ever since then I keep thinking about him and I feel like I might be catching feelings for him. I’ve had close friendships with other men and it hasn’t felt like this before. The only problem is I’ve identified as a lesbian for 6 years and I’m possibly asexual. I love having him as a friend and I wouldn’t want to jeopardize our friendship by making things awkward and I don’t want him to feel used if it turns out I’m not bi. Any advice?

[Wiseman2]

30 minutes ago, Questioningmyself said:

 I’ve identified as a lesbian for 6 years and I’m possibly asexual.  I wouldn’t want to jeopardize our friendship by making things awkward 

Just stay friends. It seems to work best that way for both of you.  

[Batya33]

Between the distance and your confusion about your sexual orientation I’d stay in touch as friends and keep your time together platonic.  I’d choose not to act on any feelings.  I don’t think people “catch “ feelings. You chose to cross lines and share a bed so that plus sharing personal stuff can trigger sexual feelings. 

[left due to request]

13 hours ago, Questioningmyself said:

The last night we ended up cuddling on my bed alone because he was upset about how my other friends were being territorial over me (physical affection is pretty common in my friend group, but I don’t normally cuddle with guys and I never sleep in the same bed as them because I was assaulted in my sleep by a friend)

I'm bit confused. Were you assaulted by a male friend in your sleep and that's why you don't share your bed with another male?  Did that male know that you were lesbian?  not that's an excuse for an assault but open situation like that should always be avoided.  So even with this guys, I think you have taken some risk by cuddling.

As for this particular man you are texting and having interest, does he know that you are lesbian?  I think the starting foundation of any relationship is important.  He needs to know that you are a lesbian since he may have other feeling for you.  I know it maybe nice and comforting to feel something you haven't felt in a long time, but I think you also know how devastating this could be for him when he finds out that he had no chance of sexual relationship with you.

let him know and see if you can still maintain your current relationship as just being friends.  

[Jaunty]

13 hours ago, Questioningmyself said:

The last night we ended up cuddling on my bed alone because he was upset about how my other friends were being territorial over me (physical affection is pretty common in my friend group, but I don’t normally cuddle with guys and I never sleep in the same bed as them because I was assaulted in my sleep by a friend) 

I'm absolutely confused.  How does him being upset because your other friends are territorial over you (??? weird, but different question) have something to do with cuddling in your bed with him?   And I'm completely lost about how your being assaulted by a friend while you slept dovetails with anything to do with this story.

Bottom line:  YOU need to figure YOU out.   If you like this guy at all, just as a human being, don't use him to sort through all of your confusion.  That is not how friends treat friends.