It’s been more then a year! When does it get easier?(Trigger Warning)

[limichelle]

It’s been a year and five months since I was raped! 
 

I practically have to be sedated at the obgyn office for exams. Today I was scheduled for a cystoscope. I’ve had quite a few in office over the years before the incident. Well the nurse took me back to the exam room. I was doing awesome and I noticed for some reason the room was set up identical to the Sane exam room after I got raped! I don’t know why that thought came into my mind!

 

I freaked out! I burst into tears and now I’m scheduled to have the cystoscope in a operating room under sedation.

 

Ill be doing awesome and some weird thing triggers me!

 

 

[Seraphim]

I am sorry. It gets better, yes. I have never got to the point where I am hoehum about it , but it is less panic inducing . 
Now, dental procedures which never used to both me I have to have Ativan for now.

[Seraphim]

I am 43 years past being raped as a child and 37 years as an adult . The body doesn’t forget but it gets easier . Mind you I had my first gyno exam at 14 because I was raped and never had one again until I got pregnant at 30 because there was no way I was going to go. So I can’t really say when it would’ve gotten better. I think that is different for everyone. 

[catfeeder]

My heart goes out to you, @limichelleand @Seraphim .  

The ways that you each have reacted and responded to your experiences are valid and heard and respected.

While we can imagine that it might be a comfort to have some sort of guideline that documents what you can expect going forward, nobody else can speak to the impacts of your experiences because you are unique and entitled to process your memories in your own way.

There is no 'wrong' way to respond.

I'm so sorry that you were attacked and harmed.

I have no expectation that voicing this to you can be of any comfort. I just want you to know that someone cares about this and for you, and I'm sure that I'm not the only one.

You matter.

[DarkCh0c0]

I'm so sorry to hear that. That sounds frightening.

Have you sought therapy with a trauma-informed therapist? They are the ones that can you help you in the best way.

Otherwise, I think each person's healing timeline is different. But with support and help, you will get there. The fact you felt awesome already shows that part of it has been processed, but there's more work to do and that's okay.

Take care of you and give yourself a good hug 💚

[Batya33]

I'm so sorry to hear you had such a bad situation in that room!!  I wish you all the best and healing.