Taking a deep breath and letting go.....

[butterflycloud]

The ex and I were divorce 2 months ago and separated for 6 months. I wanted to get back together with him and I told him that we should try again.

 

We have been trying for a month- funny thing is that I was the only one trying. My head new that our issues were too great to be healed but my heart wanted so badly to fix things and not loose him.

 

We had a fight last night and we landed up agreeing that both of us are not prepared to change the people that we are and that our personalities just dont suit one another.We decided to end it.....for good.

 

I feel soo sad-I will never be a part of his life again and he in mine. I wont know when he is sad, I wont be there to help him through life...and most hurtful of all- I wont be there to love and be loved by him.

 

I know that it was the right decision to make- we could just never work...but that doesnt stop the pain and the loss.

 

I had to be brave and take a long deep breath and let him go....

[HajiMaji]

Youre right, it is hard. The pain from loss like this is so huge, and i really feel for you. Take your time and be patient, soon enough youll be at peace. Give it time

[butterflycloud]

thanks for your sympathy!

 

Sometimes I wish that someone would bash me over the head with a frying pan and that I would suffer amnesia-then I could forget that I ever was married and that I ever had to let someone go!

 

I just hope that he finds happiness. I also want him to know that I will always be there for him. But he is the kind of guy to shut me out completely when we are apart. He wont confide in me at all.

 

Ill still see him- we have a 3 year old son- So sad that two people that love one another just cant be together and that a beautiful child has to suffer because of it!

[King_Of_Fools]

Just went through the same exact thing. When it's over, you know it's over. It doesn't make it any less painful! The most important thing is to stay civil to eachother for your child. Luckily your child is still very young. Mine was 10 when we split up and it's changed him a lot. Time will heal your heart. It may take a lot of time, but eventually you will feel complete again.

[Hope75]

Butterfly,

 

I am sorry you are going through this. At least you were smart enough to recognize that it takes two people to make a marriage work, and that no matter how badly one wants it, they cannot carry the relationship on thier own.

 

I wish you and your son the best of luck, and know that sometimes it's better for the child if two parents raise him apart, if they weren't working together for the child's best interests.

 

You truly are strong, and you are going to be just fine.

[butterflycloud]

Thanks Hope!!

 

You always have such wise words of wisdom to share!!

 

I saw him last night- He came to vist our son. We spoke about the 'final letting go' for a bit and we both cried. He cried- which is amazing cause I have never seen him cry and IT ABSOLUTLY BROKE MY HEART!!

 

So as he left I watched all my hopes and dreams for us walk out the door. And I honestly felt his ties around my heart unwinding and letting go.

 

I told him that we would probably never be together again cause I dont want to be alone and I want to find a 'dad' for our son.

 

But deep down my soul feels relieved- relieved that I dont have to fight for something that I knew would just never work out.

[sonjam]

In a way I'm glad that you are finding closure in this. It is worse to sit around and hope, than to finally realise, and move on.

 

Good luck with your future, I know all will be well, and you will start your healing process now.

[butterflycloud]

Thanks Sonjam-you are truly such an inspiration.

 

I met someone on Saturday night- he seemed nice enough but it is so hard to even imagine yourself being with someone else. I still feel 'guilty' about even thinking about seeing someone else.

 

But I suppose it is just part of the moving on process.

 

Who knows...maybe in years to come the ex and I will find each others heart again...

[sonjam]

it's true, time can heal the wounds, but it could also show you what a fool you have been. Maybe is the keyword.

 

For now you owe it to yourself to step out, step up and take life by the horns. We are always a keyboard away if you need to chat!