I'm new here signed up hi, just had some questions dont judge? got some questions

[Wiseman2]

15 hours ago, WaterProofCandy said:

I enjoy computers math and the universe, james webb telescope etc

[Tinydance]

1 hour ago, WaterProofCandy said:

100% titan dance fear controls me but I had questions for you off topic I wanted to DM but i didnt wanna be a creep

 

i got good advice here lol my questions are ik odd im weird im not perfect i got stuff to work on

 

1) how did u meet this person who played tons of video games

 

2) how old was he  how old are you

 

1 hour ago, WaterProofCandy said:

 

3) was he quiet introverted?

 

4) did he live with his parents have a job?

1). I met him on a paid online dating website. We were in a very strict COVID lockdown and we video called at first for a couple of hours. Afterwards we talked on Discord a lot by messaging maybe for about two weeks and after that were able to meet in person. Then we dated in person for 2.5 months.

2) He was 30 and me 36

3) Well interestingly I'm not sure if you could say that he was very introverted because he wasn't quiet at all. He talked a lot and he wasn't awkward or anything.

I know he said he'd been diagnosed with an auditory processing disorder. So the way he explained it to me was that if he went to places with different noise, he couldn't hear the person he was talking to and it frustrated him a lot. I think it did play a part in him just staying home and playing video games basically all his life. However I also got a big sense from him that he just didn't actually want anything outside of that. 

For example, he only had two real life friends and he had three "best" friends online on Discord. He talked to them basically all day every day and played video games with them. He said he'd known them for like 12 years. They just lived in another city in my country which is about a 2 - 3 hour plane flight. But he had never met them in real life nor seemed to care if he met them or not. He did also say that someone had said to him that he's addicted to video games. But he denied it. Very typical of someone actually addicted to video games 😜

4) Yes he did have a job assembling computers from scratch. Prior to that he worked for an agency that provided IT support in schools.

He had actually literally only just moved out from his Dad's place into his own rental property. He lived there alone and then he got a dog.

 

I hope this covers everything lol

[Tinydance]

18 hours ago, WaterProofCandy said:

the rest yes but

 

>

Step three: ditch the video games, and the geek stuff. Women want a man not a man child.

 

no to that just no If i do get into a relationship tho... I will def cut down playing video games by 80% but to stop it completely no, I enjoy computers math and the universe, james webb telescope etc

 

I really appreciate you taking the time out of your day to help me and give me advice

 

Once I go back to school for nursing I will focus go the gym and improve myself

I think you can still find women with these kinds of interests but you need to put yourself into environments where you actually get to know women. For example, there are Meetup groups about some of these topics or at least similar. You could also try online dating sites and often you can do a keyword search of the members and try to find the same interests.

Your hobbies are fine but I think maybe the problem is you've been doing them on your own. Even with video games you could join some LAN or gamer groups or something like that. Also you should go along to any events you get invited to because there could be women there you could talk to.

[DancingFool]

On 8/24/2022 at 5:23 AM, WaterProofCandy said:

isnt that advice good tho?

It's good advice if you want to stay single for life.

It's literally the worst advice ever if you actually want a healthy relationship.

Just reading your posts and responses, the detrimental effect of reading that nonsense is palpable. Starting with the idea that you have to obtain some cliche attributes in order to "get" a woman as if women are some mindless robots rather than living breathing human beings with their own life and interests.

So, drop the idea that you have to become some other type of person or that women are only attracted to one type of man. That's bs. I've never been into men who are bulky for example and never will be. So if you go to the gym to bulk up, you'll miss out on women like me who would have liked you as you are, but won't be interested in a gym rat downing protein shakes trying to become a different body type.

Same goes for your hobbies. If you like gaming and geeky stuff, there are literally millions of women out there who are into the same things. Where you need to step up is start joining groups where you get to meet like minded people and start making friends and being more social. Multiplayer games are full of women and I know of many couples who have met via gaming and are now married, have kids, etc. 

Rather than asking yourself what do you need to change to get a woman, you need to ask a completely different question - where can I meet women who are like me and into things that I like? Then go join those groups. Not just hunting for a date, but rather to warm up to making friends and socializing. After all, socializing, connecting with people is a learned skill. Some people are much more natural at it, others less so. Everyone is capable though.

To have a health relationship, you need to learn to see and treat women as human beings rather than as a thing that you obtain if you do a, b, c or pretend to be x, y, and z. The latter is what makes all those sites and so called dating gurus so utterly toxic. All they are doing is telling you that you are not good enough and must become someone else, which does nothing more than lower your self esteem and leave you feeling inadequate when in reality, you are just fine.