Never ending breakup

[Batya33]

2 minutes ago, Lambert said:

Last week someone at work blamed me for something, in an email. (I know... nice, right?)  Everyone on the email knew it was another person in the email that was truly to blame. Everyone but this guy. 

I wanted to respond so bad and correct the person.  But I didn't.  When i slowed down and looked at the situation, I realized, I actually don't give a crap what that person says, think or does. 

Wow.  That showed impressive restraint (and this is why I try to wait 24 hours before I respond to an email that I found frustrating).  

[moodindigo91]

2 minutes ago, Lambert said:

The only way to end all this is to stop responding.  Like everyone is saying... he's a jerk. From the way he left to now this.

One of the best things you can do is learn to do nothing. observe what's happening as if it's not happening to you. 

It's our ego that wants us to respond, to correct, to fix. And its completely human.  

Now here we are a few days later, it's nothing! Just like his pompous letter and dumb gift. 

Before you dump it or whatever, flip through it Like everything in life, it's offered, take what you like, leave the rest. I enjoy self help books. He didn't write it so don't blame the author!  lol!

Yes! Thank you!! I completely agree. Mindfulness is what helps me with this. Last night upon receiving it I was a bit taken aback but after some time processing it I feel pretty comfortable not responding at all and just accepting this as something that happened. 

Tbh I think his intentions were well meaning I just think he doesn't recognize how selfish or inappropriate it is. Either way, it's not something I want to make the space for. 

I have flipped through the book! Believe me I have read 2.5 self help books since the breakup 😂 the one he sent is just not really applicable to me IMO. He seems to think we are going on similar journeys of like self discovery or something but I've been on this journey since my early-20s and he's just now starting out. I'm in the fulfillment stage. He's in the creation phase. That's how I see it anyway 

[Rose Mosse]

16 hours ago, moodindigo91 said:

Yes! Thank you!! I completely agree. Mindfulness is what helps me with this. Last night upon receiving it I was a bit taken aback but after some time processing it I feel pretty comfortable not responding at all and just accepting this as something that happened. 

Tbh I think his intentions were well meaning I just think he doesn't recognize how selfish or inappropriate it is. Either way, it's not something I want to make the space for. 

I have flipped through the book! Believe me I have read 2.5 self help books since the breakup 😂 the one he sent is just not really applicable to me IMO. He seems to think we are going on similar journeys of like self discovery or something but I've been on this journey since my early-20s and he's just now starting out. I'm in the fulfillment stage. He's in the creation phase. That's how I see it anyway 

I think you’re handling it quite well. You haven’t assumed he wants to get back with you, you’re not willing to take him back and this gift and letter was inappropriate and seemed so from the start. You’re well on your way to healing even though it may not feel like it on some days. 

 

[catfeeder]

On 3/1/2022 at 1:31 PM, moodindigo91 said:

I don't need therapy or self-help (which is kind of insulting btw). I don't need to do inner work or heal childhood traumas. I am hurt by what YOU did and I have every right to feel that way. 

I truly loved every word of your journal entry, but especially this--it's golden.

This is the sentence of a self-actualized person.

And, he doesn't even deserve to hear it.

Go you, and YAY!

Head high, and best wishes for your move FORward.

[Rose Mosse]

Pardon - I wanted to mention used bookstores may also take the book. I don't know why I didn't think of that earlier. The local used bookstore near where I live is still taking books. It's really lovely going in there.