What is thi

[Hopelessromantic90]

When you notice you are to your girlfriend what she is to her guy friend and her guy friend is to her what she is to me 

basically how she acts and treats me is very non responsive and and uncaring of me being hurt or upset and I’m constantly trying to get her to be more vocal about things instead I get short answers and times where after I get done telling her what’s wrong she starred as if I’m not done talking or if day dreaming but the opposit is what she is to her guy friend i.e she is me in their friendship dinamic and he is her  what is this about why any insight is helpfull

[gamon]

She likes him better.

 

[Batya33]

Do you want her to be more "vocal' or show she cares? Not the same thing - you don't like her short answers because they are dismissive but even if they were longer/wordier if she doesn't care it wouldn't be any more satisfying/caring.  What kinds of questions are you asking her?

[boltnrun]

Is this the girlfriend who went and talked to the person you were fighting about?

[Hopelessromantic90]

1 hour ago, gamon said:

She likes him better.

 

Kinda how I see it

[Hopelessromantic90]

 

1 hour ago, boltnrun said:

Is this the girlfriend who went and talked to the person you were fighting about?

Yes it is he treats her like *** as a friend she’s always there for him and whenever he gets a new fling she gets put on the back burner otherwise and she still there to pick him up after lies and stealing from us and other *** 

[Hopelessromantic90]

1 hour ago, Batya33 said:

Do you want her to be more "vocal' or show she cares? Not the same thing - you don't like her short answers because they are dismissive but even if they were longer/wordier if she doesn't care it wouldn't be any more satisfying/caring.  What kinds of questions are you asking her?

I want her to care yes obviously but I want her to have input short answers don’t give much to get to the root of what’s going on I’ll ask her if she can see the things she is doing to me he is doing to her  and replies yeah but I’m not as ***ty as him etc

[Batya33]

5 minutes ago, Hopelessromantic90 said:

I want her to care yes obviously but I want her to have input short answers don’t give much to get to the root of what’s going on I’ll ask her if she can see the things she is doing to me he is doing to her  and replies yeah but I’m not as ***ty as him etc

Oh so it may be that she feels your questions are too confrontational- and accusing her.  How about instead of questions use I statements. “I am worried about how much time you spend with him “. Or if you want to ask a question ask “what are your intentions about us ?”

[boltnrun]

16 minutes ago, Hopelessromantic90 said:

 

Yes it is he treats her like *** as a friend she’s always there for him and whenever he gets a new fling she gets put on the back burner otherwise and she still there to pick him up after lies and stealing from us and other *** 

Do you think she has feelings for him?

[Wiseman2]

6 hours ago, Hopelessromantic90 said:

 I’ll ask her if she can see the things she is doing to me he is doing to her  and replies yeah but I’m not as ***ty as him etc

Ok, this is not a ringing endorsement of you or your relationship.

You need to step back from this.

This seems to be a recurring issue.

 

[Hopelessromantic90]

On 8/31/2021 at 8:36 PM, boltnrun said:

Do you think she has feelings for him?

no i dont think id have to worry about that well atleast i dont belive she does or feel she does

[Hopelessromantic90]

ive taken steps back i even gave her the apt to herself and got a hotel ive basically just let all go i see her for maybe a few hours 3/4 a day now shes out when im home and when im not she sleeping so meh idk what to do cept let her run all over me only t ime she comes to me is to fix this or that diagnose this or lift that buy this for me etc but yeah think ill just let this play out

[Hopelessromantic90]

ve taken steps back i even gave her the apt to herself and got a hotel ive basically just let all go i see her for maybe a few hours 3/4 a day now shes out when im home and when im not she sleeping so meh idk what to do cept let her run all over me only t ime she comes to me is to fix this or that diagnose this or lift that buy this for me etc but yeah think ill just let this play out

 

 

[Hopelessromantic90]

ve taken steps back i even gave her the apt to herself and got a hotel ive basically just let all go i see her for maybe a few hours 3/4 a day now shes out when im home and when im not she sleeping so meh idk what to do cept let her run all over me only t ime she comes to me is to fix this or that diagnose this or lift that buy this for me etc but yeah think ill just let this play out

[Wiseman2]

43 minutes ago, Hopelessromantic90 said:

ve taken steps back i even gave her the apt to herself and got a hotel

Excellent. Stay away from each other.

[DarkCh0c0]

Euuumm break up? End this roller coaster? Find someone with whom you don't have to fight for her attention?

The relationship didn't turn out to be as expected. And, that's okay. It's normal. You need to set each other free instead of staying stuck in toxic cycles.

So go, set each other free.