I don't know how to be the supportive friend anymore....

[displayname]

My best friend recently got out of a long relationship and she has had a boy best friend as well who isn't a mutual friend of ours but right after her break up she hooked up with her boy best friend because she wanted some sort of breakup hook up. Her past relations haven't been great and she has never really been alone, she has always either dated someone or been at the talking stage with someone and I really don't think  it's a healthy way to cope with anything because it just adds to the baggage she already has. She has hooked up with her best friend at least two or three times now and it has been frustrating for me to see her keep doing things that affect her mental health, I have already told her how I feel about her doing this since it's not a smart thing to do and is quite disappointing to be honest. I honestly don't know how to be there for her anymore since she treats my advice like it's nothing all the time and she knows that she's doing the wrong thing. How do I be there for her, or what do I do?

[Wiseman2]

2 minutes ago, displayname said:

How do I be there for her, or what do I do?

Don't be there for her. It's that simple. She's an adult and can sleep with whoever she wants.

The real issue is that she's complaining and whining to you about it all too much. Just step back, change the subject and don't get overinvested in her self-created drama.

Try not to overstep boundaries and play therapist. 

[LaHermes]

7 minutes ago, displayname said:

How do I be there for her, or what do I do?

You don't. And you do nothing.  Not your problem.

As Wiseman said:

"Just step back, change the subject and don't get overinvested in her self-created drama.

Try not to overstep boundaries and play therapist. "

And never give unasked for advice to "friends" or even "asked for" advice either. 

 

[displayname]

10 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Don't be there for her. It's that simple. She's an adult and can sleep with whoever she wants.

The real issue is that she's complaining and whining to you about it all too much. Just step back, change the subject and don't get overinvested in her self-created drama.

Try not to overstep boundaries and play therapist. 

Yeah, I guess I should step away. Although, she keeps asking me what I think about everything that she says and I don't really say anything until she asks me. So what do I do when she asks me for my opinion?

[Wiseman2]

1 minute ago, displayname said:

 So what do I do when she asks me for my opinion?

Just play TV doctor and say "how do you feel about that?" or "what does your gut tell you"? .

In other words they seem to be questions so she can simply continue talking about it.

[Rose Mosse]

6 minutes ago, displayname said:

Yeah, I guess I should step away. Although, she keeps asking me what I think about everything that she says and I don't really say anything until she asks me. So what do I do when she asks me for my opinion?

You can mention to her that you've already given her your opinion. Change the subject and talk about something else. Remember that friendship is a two-way street. It doesn't mean being a doormat with a motormouth or someone inconsiderate enough not to ask you about how you are doing. If she doesn't take an interest in your life that's a clear sign she's not a good friend. 

[SooSad33]

You just respectfully leave her be to do as she pleases.  Nothing you can do or say, as this is how she acts.

you just do your best as a 'friend', to chat with etc.  No more. you are correct, she may know it's not right, but is up to HER to make any changes.

[SooSad33]

15 minutes ago, Rose Mosse said:

she keeps asking me what I think about everything

about her life & choices? if so, she may be seeking a little too much attention & reactions... validation etc.

As mentioned, she already know how you see it all.  No more reason to discuss it.

If she is too much drama, maybe avoid too much interaction? Some people are draining 😕 .

[displayname]

22 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Just play TV doctor and say "how do you feel about that?" or "what does your gut tell you"? .

In other words they seem to be questions so she can simply continue talking about it.

This might be unrelated but is it too selfish to change the subject and talk about something that might be going on in my life? 

[LaHermes]

26 minutes ago, displayname said:

So what do I do when she asks me for my opinion?

I wouldn't even waste my time asking a question back.  Just say: "I don't really know" or "I don't know what to say". 

I think you can find less exhausting and draining friends OP. 

[Rose Mosse]

1 minute ago, displayname said:

This might be unrelated but is it too selfish to change the subject and talk about something that might be going on in my life? 

She is hurt so you can listen for awhile , be empathetic but gently ask her how other things are going on in her life. Segue way into a new topic. There are ways to do this so you aren't rude. Does she ask you about your life too or how you are doing?