I had a false alarm and told my boyfriend about it...

[bloodyashes]

This morning i took a pregnancy test and it came out negative. I always use a condom and am on birth control, i sometimes have an irregular period and sometimes no period at all (doctors don't know why). But I was very scared and so was my boyfriend. I think he freaked out more than me. was it a mistake to tell him? It was a real reality check for him, and things are going to change, but if this happens again i can either take the test alone or take it with him. I wanted support, but did not get any and had to let him lean on my shoulder instead. Anyone have this experience?

[SimoneTiger]

Just don't let it happen again! Honestly, how hard is it not to get pregnant? It seems to me you have no reason to be scared if you use a condom consistently and take your birth control as directed.

 

I firmly believe that if you are willing spread apart your legs for someone, you need to be prepared for the thought that he might end up being your child's father, i.e. you must know what reaction to expect from him, as well. It is a good thing the subject came up in your relationship before anything more serious happened.

[RayKay]

Those "pregnancy scares" are often difficult on both people involved - he may have just been totally unprepared (you on other hand had a sort of inkling or fear or you would not of taken test, so had more time to deal with it in your head maybe).

 

Fortunately for you both it was a false alarm, learned your lessons and now ensure from now on you take more precautions together.

 

If you were to have another scare, I think you should tell him....but you should also both be ensuring no more scares are necessary - use two methods of birth control as you are and talk to one another about what would happen "if". I think if you are going to have sex with someone you should both talk about what would happen IF, as even with 99% effectiveness....that is still a 1 in 100 chance of pregnancy! If you are having sex, you need to communicate about the risks and what you would do. Two methods is better than one..but even then there is always a chance.

 

As I tell everyone, unless you are prepared to deal with possible consequences and risks of sex and have communicated with partner about them, then dont be having it! There is ALWAYS a chance, even with birth control and STD protection...always.

[bloodyashes]

Thank you, we've both talked about the "IFs". We communicate well and have been in a long relationship, if he was the father to my children then that would be according to our plan, It was more an issue with his reaction than the problem of pregnancy. We've both been tested for STDs, and use condoms with spermicide, and the pill. I'm more worried about him leaving, which is someting i could handle after a while. But his reation was not consistant with our talks, and its worrisome.

by the way, i got my period 1 hour after taking the test. And when the doctors where checking to see why i hadn't had my period in a half year, i got my period while sitting on the exam table. My periods a precocious little bastard

[shorty20]

When I had a pregnancy scare I let it eat at me for about 2 weeks before I said anything to my ex. At first he was talking about plans and acted ok with it, like he actually wanted to have a baby with me. Then, he grew angry with me, and asked me why I had to tell him. Why I had to make him worry about it... so basically he wanted to let it eat at me, and make me deal with all the stress and worries... it turned out I wasn't pregnant and everything went back to normal. About two months later, we had another scare because the condom broke and he didn't know it ( or he didn't bother to stop, I don't know which one ) but he freaked out. I mean worse than the first time. He grew angry and was yelling at me, telling me he didn't want to be a father and I'd better go to planned parent hood and get it taken care of the next day. He made ME pay for it, even though I know when a condom breaks you can feel it, and he didn't do anything. The paying for it didn't bother me so much as the fact that he was going to make me go ALONE! He said he didn't want to bother with going with me! So i tried to get a friend to go with me but she had to work, so I called him back and insisted that he go with me. It takes two people to have sex, and he should back me up and support me. He ended up going, but brought his friend with him! I was having a hard time and needed support, and they were goofing off and laughing the whole time, trying to make a joke out of it! Needless to say, we are no longer together... don't know if that helped, just thought our stories were kind of similar. If you need to talk to anyone, feel free to PM me. I'd be glad to talk to you, or be an ear to listen if you need to vent. Good luck hun!

[sunnihunni]

guys can be weird about something like pregnancy...you never know how they are going to react and alot of times...theres no good solution. sometimes you really want support....but it sounds to me like he just made it worse or harder on you. if it ever happens again i would say maybe go to a girl friend or something for support until you find out the results...even though it might make him upset that you didnt tell him...like i said...not always a good solution.

 

best of luck!

[bloodyashes]

thank you, he appologized profusely and now things are peachy keen. Live and learn