Masturbation and Just plain Sex frustrations.

[playfull06]

Hi Everyone,

I could use input on this. Ok so here it goes. I feel very weird masturbating. I have only done it twice and I just didn't feel comfortable doing it. I still don't even when I try to. I don't even know why. Has anyone felt like this? Why do I feel like this? I mean I just get embarrassed and feel stupid like I shouldn't be doing this. I even have trouble turning myself on by myself. Not with my girlfriend though. It is just all confusing in my mind. If anyone has any clue what I am talking about or wants to know more please feel free to write.

 

Ok, next frustration. I can come close to orgasming when my girlfriend is fingering me. When I come close though it starts to feel as if I am dry. I have talked about this with my girlfriend and she has told me that I am still very much wet. Why does it hurt then? Is it just my sub-conscious or is there really something there? I just am tired of it. I either freak out and tell her to stop or it starts hurting. Why? I am not sure. Also I don't like it when she plays with my clit. Like I do when she is eating me out but when she is fingering me and then starts rubbing my clit with her fingers it just doesnt feel good. It feels like sharp feelings( Like it hurts but then again it doesnt but it does). Is this normal?

 

I'm really sorry if this is all confusing. Pretty much all I want to know is if anyone has felt like this and what they have done about it. Everything on here or just one I just need to know. I am so confused and fed up. Please anyone who has insight please help.

[winkybear]

about the masturbating thing, a lot of girls dont masturbate. So maybe you're just not comfortable doing it by yourself?

 

And about not enjoying it around ur clit, everyone has their favourite spot.. their personal preference. Some ppl might like something else, some dont.

[belladona]

if it's really painful, I think you should see a doctor, preferably an OB/GYN.

 

I disagree about girls not masturbating. A lot of them do but they don't tell anyone.

[playfull06]

HI,

The pain isn't like to where I am crying its just like she is pinching me, It feels like she is rubbing when I am dry.

With the maturbation thing, I just feel stupid cause that is the way you are supposed to find out about yourself right? well I can't and I don't know how to climax and just go with it because I can't and that is how you learn and I just feel....idiotic that I cant'

[TheVindicator]

Buy a bottle of lube. Astroglide/KY whatever floats your boat. (water-based of course) No one knows your body better than you. Next time, get with your girlfriend and do such. But instead of having her stimulate you, just do it yourself with her there. Kissing, hugging, snuggling, even masturbating herself.

 

The masturbation thing: Everyone does it. It may however, take some time for you to become used to it because of social stigmas and such and underlying psychological babble. In other words, just become familiar with yourself and enjoy it.

 

If you use added lube and continue to experience pain immediately consult an OB/GYN. Pain means something is not working correctly. An OB/GYN should be able to help

[OakiToki]

Hi I'm new and I'm having the same problem. Its so bad to the point that my boyfriend has made comments that his family thinks that's I'm crazy. They don't know about me not doing it, they just think that I'm psychologically off. He says that I have to learn how to pleasure myself. I used to very rarely, but I can't make myself cum. I don't feel comfortable at all, I don't think it's a religious thing because it was never brought up when I was growing up and I never had a problem with everyone else doing it. I just don't get any enjoyment out of it. The problem is that my bf and I don't have a lot of sex because I can't always buy condoms and I really want to have sex. He tells me to masturbate and I cringe. He told me I'm not normal for it so now I'm depressed thinking that he thinks I'm crazy. He blames my self esteem, he just doesn't understand that I don't like it, even if I do exactly what he does it's not the same for me. I can't fantasize, I don't think it's normal or I just feel like I'm cheating. For some reason I see fantasizing as childish and ridiculous. So I'm beginning to really believe him that I'm not normal. I feel like I'm cheating on him if I masturbate and when I was single I had no reason to masturbate, never cared for it.

 

 

Someone help!

[Taomagicdragon]

Not everyone masturbates (I don't). For me, it's because I have no interest in it and feel no drive for it (same with sex).

 

As for the OP, Masturbation may not be your thing, nothing wrong with that at all. As for the making love aspect, perhaps you have some stress or are thinking about something. The body reacts to thoughts. But, if you're in the mometnt and relaxed/comfortable, then I would consult an OB/GYN to be on the safe side. I;ve heard of this before with two of my friends and they tried role playing, getting their minds in different mindsets seemed to help, so try that if it helps (they share way too many personal expeirences with me, heh, they tried the teacher and student roles).

 

To cedar, there is nothing wrong with not wanting to masturbate and if he;s depressing you or calling you abnormal, then you need to have a serious talk with him about it. You are perfectly normal and there is nothing wrong with you. As for the sex, make him buy the condems. Just make sure he stops cutting you down (same with his family) becuase that doesn't make for a bright future. You are perfectly normal and are not somehow psychelogically off just because you don't want to masturbate.

[OakiToki]

Thank you so much, that makes me feel so much better.

 

He's more reserved sexually so he doesn't always want to have sex, me on the other hand I like to have it every once in a while so when I want it I really want it. This is the reason he wants me to masturbate so I don't always get on his case about sex.