Confused.

[Jessiepunk55]

Dear readers,

I am facing a problem. I was going out with the sweetest and most attractive guy that i have even layed my eyes on. We were going onto 4 months of our relationship when he dumped me, recently i had went to a party and was taken adavantage he said he didnt blame me but i still think he does. he dumped me saying that he couldnt handle a relationship when being 300 miles away from him lover. I dont think thats it honestly. I also found out that he was asking my friend that if she would hook up with him if we werent going out. He came over this last week end and he wanted to be with me, it felt like we were lovers again. But then he said he didnt want the relationship that all he wanted to be was friends with benifits, what the hell is that? I mean i still want this guy in my life i love him so much but i was told that he is just a scum bag and i dont deserve that. but why in the hell would he still want to continue to be with me if he dosent want a relationship, he is only going to hurt me and i know it.What should i do? should i keep my head up high and let him know what he is missing or should i give him that chance to be friends with benifits?

 

please help me!!! AHHHHHH im going crazy man!

[Northy]

I think you should leave this piece of trash alone ... sounds like he wants the physical with no responsibility of commitment. He asked your girlfriend to be with him if you weren't... then comes to you and wants to be friends with "benefits" (SEX)!!

 

It all comes down to what you want ... if you can have a totally physical relationship with this guy .. then go for it .. but it sounds like your heart is involved and his d**k is what's involved from his standpoint.

 

Hold your head high and move on .. you deserve better than that.

[taken]

i think that he still wants you, but he has some serious issues with commiting. a lot of guys do. let him know that you still love him, and you dont want to be just friends. even if it is with "benefits." benefits are when you are friends but you still act like your going out. he means he still wants to fool around. dont! he is just using you for that purpose. obviously he is a scumbag. im sorry but the truth hurts. i know you still love him, but move on. take your time. you do need to move on. maybe after a while he will realize that you are special to him. maybe he will realize that you are what completes his life, but until then he is gonna be the same. no matter how cute he is dont crawl back to him. trust me i know it doesnt work. they just think its funny.

hopefully this helps. sorry if it doesnt.

[Bamber432]

NO, no, no, no, no!!! Being friend's w/benefits is only going to make things worse. You are goign to keep thinking that he is going to want a relationship and just keep hurting you more and more. This guy obviously doesn't care about you and obviously he is a creep. It also seems like everyone else must know that because he can't get any from anyone and he knows that he can get it from you because you still have feelings for him. I'm sorry to say it hun, but he's just using you. You deserve far better things than him. No one deserves to be treated like that. And for the "being taken advantage of" situation...you need to talk to someone. That's something that no one should have to go through. But if you let your ex become a friend w/benefits...you're letting him take advantage of you too. Emotionally it is just going to tear you apart. Just please tell him no and try to move on....it's going to be hard, but just remember there is someone out there that is far better than this creep. Keep your head up and things will be fine!

[Jessiepunk55]

Thanks to you people for the helpful advice, I'm crying now because we do talk on the internet from time to time and i asked him some questions about the whole friends with benefits and the question was "am i only going to get hurt in the long run?" and he said "what makes you think that you will be hurt?" when we talked it felt so weird, he did treat me like a friend and thats not what i aparenly want. I told him "i thought that i was the one for you?" he said "i never said you werent" why would he continue to tell me these things? why am i a big part of his life? and then again im not? cant something make this pain go away? i feel like i would be sad if i heard he was with another girl. I feel so lost and empty inside. I feel like im trapped in these emotions and there is no way out, why is he treating me like this? tell me this is all a dream, tell me that everything is going to be fine. make these tears stop rolling down my face. I'm sorry but im real upset right now. Thank you all again. feel free to IM me on AIM. thank you good bye