How can i make it better?

[Life101]

hi, i have recently started NC again with my ex and this time i really want to stick to it. here is my original post: link removed .

Please tell me if there is a more effective way to keep her out of my mind and heart...i have tried the writing all the bad things shes said/done and keeping in my pocket but when that phone rings, my instant reflexes answer before giving me time to think..i have been hurt so much by this that it has affected everything in my life...i don't like this feeling anymore....i can see she is bad for me, shes not a nice person...then why the hell am i still thinking about her...how do you get over love?

[taarna]

You don't. It steals your soul in a way.

 

Put a block on her number. Block any contact with outside forces, enlist your friends. Think of it as "intervention".

 

It's best for you.

 

Good Luck. Believe me I totally understand how you feel ... give it time life has a way of going on anyway.

 

 

[DN]

Put the phone in a box or a bag that you have to open - that may give you time to think before you answer it.

[Life101]

I don't have anything to look forward to. Before her, i wasn't the happiest person in the world, but i wasn't the saddest either, i had friends but still felt alone. But when she came into my life, she changed it upside down and let me imagine possibilities that i didn't even knew existed. Now all i want to do is lie on my bed and do nothing. Most of my friends are either away to college or have become out of touch. I really don't have any close friends here to talk to about it. Are there any excercises i can do to make it better? i want to be able to get my life back to the way it was. i dont want to feel like that all girls are like that but can't help feeling that they are..?

[Life101]

whats really ironic is that when we were both hooking up, we both were coming off break ups, and we were talking about how to handle breakups and stuff like that, and me and here shared the same perspective(that was one of the major bonding ties that led us together)...now looking at after a year its funny how it works out..that we're at that stage now...just yesterday she was head over heels in love with me..

[taarna]

Life101

 

ALL excercises can help. You need to get out!

 

What do you like to do? Read? Rollerblade? Bike? What??

 

Exercise is a wonderful endorphin releaser, which in turn helps put you in a better mood. Really. I'm no exercise guru, but I know how it has helped me in the past.

 

You NEED *your* life back, and honestly you sound depressed. Maybe a doctor's visit is in order? I mean we all need it sometimes, anti-depressants.

 

I think the Prozac company is banking on broken hearts! I'll talk any time you need.

[bittersweetly healed]

hi taarna,

sounds like you give some pretty helpful advice...i am a bit younger than you, but im having a hard time get over my highschool "sweetheart" (and i put that in quotes because he turned into an unstable monster.) i held him up, supported him, (with love as well as money b/c he lost his job months ago) and we had been together for 3 years. the sad thing is, he's done this to me before. he broke it off last time n then a couple months later we were like new again. he's just so mean and immature and no good for me but why is it so hard to stop thinkin about the situation. you know what my problem is? i think that i dont remember enough of the bad things hes done to me, and i beleieve in my mind that he doesnt think about this at all. i hope im wrong. im moving on anyway, i just- well- i know we dont have a future together unless he were to grow up. i'm in college mode now and hes still in a high school frame of mind and hangs out with high school students even. (who are also immature.) he resorted to calling me a name that made me just break down the other day. that is why i started NC and must stick to it. he owes me money too. and has some of my stuff and said "if you want anything uve ever given me it'll be out on the curb" and that hurt so much. of course he promised hed never be so harsh to me ever again because of last time and the day before we broke up he was stilll saying i love you and i duno what id do without you. his parents knew i was good for him, so im not worried about how they see me. he can tell them whatever he wants but theyll know. his own brother doesnt even know whats up with him either. but im not sticking around to find out im moving on. gota stay strong.

[Meowy]

I don't have anything to look forward to. Before her, i wasn't the happiest person in the world, but i wasn't the saddest either, i had friends but still felt alone. But when she came into my life, she changed it upside down and let me imagine possibilities that i didn't even knew existed. Now all i want to do is lie on my bed and do nothing. Most of my friends are either away to college or have become out of touch. I really don't have any close friends here to talk to about it. Are there any excercises i can do to make it better? i want to be able to get my life back to the way it was. i dont want to feel like that all girls are like that but can't help feeling that they are..?

 

I feel exactly like you do. My relationship of 4 years ended in feb. My ex was the center of my life. Before her I was just content, with her I was finally happy. Now I find myself not being able to look towards the future with any hope of being happy ever again. Sure I have friends I have reconnected with that try to help but there is no one I really hang out with, no one I can connect to and open up all my feelings to like my ex.

 

The only thing that can keep you going is thinking that you found one person in the world that made you happy and that only increases your chance of finding someone else who will. Your ex isn't the only girl in the world that you will find happiness with. As they say practice makes perfect and finding and connecting with your next love will be easier.

[Life101]

lonliness, and this depression is killing me. She still texts me and last night she said we should take a weekend vacation...?? i mean why does she play with my heart like that?? i mean in my previous relationships i have never lead ne body on..if i liked them i kept them close and if i didn't i let them know instead of just keeping them for "just in case." How does this person have so much power on me...i need to get rid of this..but can't help the fact that the one person i loved so much could turn out like that.

[heartshout]

i too wish that i could also make this alright for me to feel better but somehow i dont feel alright ... i totally lost myself when she broke up with me a month ago ... i am at a total lost ... i dread night times ... its the time when the world is still and quiet and you listen to your heart ... and it drives me crazy .. i do miss my gf so much and i really love her so much but she left me with nothing to look forward to anymore ...

 

i do agree that somehow exercise helps ... i was a recreational mountainbiker before the breakup but right now i have really gotten really serious with the sport and whenever i feel the loneliness setting in .. i ride and hit the trails no matter what the time is ... but it is really difficult cause life has lost its sense of direction ... i know that we should find ourselves again and try to move on ....

 

but its really hard ...

[Life101]

well aparently we are going out again and but she is still going to move away...what did i do to deserve this? all i wanted to do was love her. She was the most beautiful woman i have ever known. We spent the whole day yesterday and whole day today together and we couldnt get enough of eachother..i dont understand how someone can switch on and off feelings like that..i feel like a puppet but at the same time i really love this feeling that i am having right now..but i know in the long run its just gonna tear me apart..what should i do..should i stay till she leaves, or leave right now?? we have the perfect body language for eachother but i know in the long run we won't workout but who knows u know..i wish she was evil and extremely mean and never talked to me..sigh, i lose either way..