in love with another women

[jimster]

Hi, First time ever posting a message. I'm a 35 year old male, married 5 years, no kids, never thought of cheating on my wife, but I have managed to fall deeply in love with a women that works with me. My home life is troubled, my wife and I fight a great deal. My communication with my wife is very limited, we haven't talked about our feelings for some time. This is other women makes me feel alive and passionate again, something my marriage is missing. She is a faboulous woman, but she too is married, and has 2 kids. (young 2 and 5). We are both in love with one another....and aren't sure what to do......help.

jimster.

[BrandonBo]

well if ur marriage is worth savin u could go to family counselor and also u have to think bout her kids cuz my parents got a divorce and i know how it feels the kids will most likely have emotional problems but maybe there to young and u could always just talk to ur wife botu ur feelings then go from there if she feels the same u could go separate ways and same with her spouse and are u ready for kids there a big step well think bout those things before u make ur desiscion

[Heretic]

I can't tell you what to do exactly, but cheating on your wife with another married woman isn't going to make things easier for you. I suggest you seriously sit down with this other woman and figure things out. If you're unhappy with your marriage I suggest seeing a professional about that. It could turn out you're both unhappy in your current relationships, in which case getting together would only make both of you more miserable in the long run.

 

However if you two do really love each other then you shouldn't stay with people you don't. Break it off with your wife BEFORE you two get involved otherwise things will get ugly.

 

That's the best advice I can give.

[dextro]

YO jimster welcome to eNotalone.com!!!!

 

Your situation isn't that bad seriously, can you state your problem with your own wife??? I would like to know so I may help you on this too. You would sacrifice 5 years of happiness and sadness for another one??? Or you want to worked out a little bit cause you really love your wife? Well, you have the ball on your side. Throw it back, I'll catch ya.

 

peace

 

Jeff l. Spiegel

[jimster]

more info. ...

 

My situation with my wife, is that I find myself questioning if i really ever loved her or if our marriage ever had passion. The other women in my life, makes me feel alive, full of passion, she makes me feel good, not just sexually, but emotionally as well. My torment is that my wife is a good person, she's a great wife in certain areas, but at times she's insensitive to my feelings (as I am sure I am to hers). To make matters even more complicated, we are struggling with medical procedures to try and have a baby, we've been diagnosed with fertility issues (on my side)...this makes matters more complicated as I am not sure about our marriage and I know that I don't want to create a child in a marriage that has these issues. As for the other women, with her 2 kids, ,,,, yes... i know i could handle becoming an instant dad....i love kids and I've been told many times that I am a very patient person and would make a great dad.......sometimes the solutions seems obvious and other times i think i'm going to make a complicated situation even more complicated.....very confused.

 

 

 

Hi, First time ever posting a message. I'm a 35 year old male, married 5 years, no kids, never thought of cheating on my wife, but I have managed to fall deeply in love with a women that works with me. My home life is troubled, my wife and I fight a great deal. My communication with my wife is very limited, we haven't talked about our feelings for some time. This is other women makes me feel alive and passionate again, something my marriage is missing. She is a faboulous woman, but she too is married, and has 2 kids. (young 2 and 5). We are both in love with one another....and aren't sure what to do......help.

jimster.

[dextro]

OMFG THIS IS SO GREAT!!! Alright, I'll tell you my point now if you dont mind ;P. LOVE = DA THING !!! No matter what you do in life love is the most incredible thing you'll ever seen. Passion = the cry of love. Well, now its the most difficult part. You aren't happy as I can see but you two agree to get along??? Are you ready to sacrifice everything to be together!!!! I would....

 

 

 

LOOOOOOOOOVEEE

 

 

Jeff l. Spiegel

[lexiblue]

Hi, why did you decide to marry this woman? Not that it makes a difference. I'm only asking because of your age and the small amount of time you have been married. I am a year younger than you I have had a couple of relationships that were as long as your marriage (3 of them). I have never left anyone for anyone else. I always left because I felt we were not growing mentally and emotionally in the same places. I also need time in-between people to find out what is going on with me and what my needs are. What made this person "the one" to be married to? That now you have run into someone who has awaked you. This is not a judgmental question, I just am curious

[mememe]

I'm not an expert, but would like to help too.

 

My question is the same as Lexiblue. Try to think why you initially marry your wife. There must be a reason, but was it really love? or was it something else that made this marriage? I guess this should be a factor in your decision.

[jimster]

Hi,

Thanks for all the input from everybody.

 

Why did I marry my wife ? I guess love at the time, perhaps some feeling of insecurity on my part...i was 30 years old and thought that i should settle down and get married....why ?

 

To confuse me even further, this other women, that I work with, is happily married. She loves her husband and her life with him - from what she has told me all is roses in her world. However I question why she is having this affair with me if she truly loves her husband. She claims she's attracted to me (which i find very flattering) and wants me sexually. She just tells me to take things day by day and that we don't know what the future holds. Part of me wishes that she had troubles at home, to sort of justify the whole thing.

 

As for my wife, a part that causes concern is that the thought of us breaking up doesn't scare me. I don't think i would miss her. I'm more worried of leaving my wife and this other woman fading away and then being left alone and on the singles market at 35.

 

Do all these feelings sound "normal" ???

[dextro]

humm that's more complicated now, she wants you sexually or she wants to move with you? Cause you may be just a simple affair and if that's the case you'll suffer my friend. Sorry if I'm a bit rude on this but you have to think before you ended alone. But if you don't like your wife you should quit her now, you don't have to wait till someone come. Well that's my opinion, you have the ball ;P.

 

peace

 

Jeff l. Spiegel

[jimster]

I find myself torn between love and lust. This other women has all the characterstics that are missing in my marriage, of course love making with her is intense and passionate (probably because it's wrong for both of us), pyschological level and interests. I'm trying hard to convince myself that this is just an "affair" nothing more, but my feelings for this other women seem to grow stronger by the day. Of course the fact that we work together (i'm actually her Boss), means we spend more time with each other (than we do with spouses) and she has plenty of time to arouse my inner feelings, just by her touch, with a smile and with her words to me.

 

I have played over and over in my head the only way that we can be together (without looking like home wreckers) is to end our marriages, for other reasons than us wanting to be together.

 

With her having 2 kids, things get more complicated. But if we connect in such a good way, how can being together be wrong ? Are we not allowed to create our happiness.?

[dextro]

Yeah I suppose I was just sayin that I hope for you that you are not someone that we use here. and happiness isn't a right, it belongs to everyone. If you think this is the good way I will be the first to congrat yourself.

 

give us some news

 

Jeff l. Spiegel

[lexiblue]

Well, my advice to you is telling your wife you want a separation and take some time to figure things out. I'm betting you will continue this affair no matter what. You'll end up feeling guilty for the rest of your marriage and it will end in due time. So maybe you should start the process and allow your wife the women you once felt love for an opportunity to find real happiness. Somewhere down deep your wife knows. As for this other women if she says she's happy with her husband, she will never leave him. It's "having your cake and eating it to". If you find you really don't love your wife the way you once did then think about leaving her but try the separation first. Good luck.