help!!!

[Tylersbabigurl]

I have been dating this guy for quite along time now and I really just want to try to make things better like I wanna make him obseesed...I want him to want me more than anything in the world...like when we are making love I wanna know what to do to drive him crazy...I wanna know how to make his only reason for living to be me...I dont want to sound selfish and demanding I just wanna find away to make him go crazy over me...so I can stop getting this feelings that he dosent love me...I want him t feel how I feel about him...

[shorty20]

Well first off, let me start by saying that you can't MAKE anyone feel what they don't want to. Feelings are just that... something you feel they're not something you can change just because you want to. Now that thats said, I've found that the best way to make someone want you is to give them their space. If you're the one always calling him, making time for him, he becomes used to that and takes it for granted. If you make yourself busy and make him want to spend time with you you will feel more needed, loved, and he will feel more of a need to make time for you. As for in bed, I'm very partial to teasing. Don't skip the appetizer and go streight to the main course, involve lots of foreplay and tease him until he's about to go crazy. Thats what makes guys want you, if you don't give it to them right away. Good luck!

[Ms Omaniac]

unfortunately, i dont think there is a way to do that. you cant force someone to love you. what you can do though is to be yourself and hope that that is good enough and that he loves you back.

 

when i was with my ex...i loved him like crazy. i would have done ANYTHING to make him love me like how you said. nothing i did made him love me more. if anything, trying to make him jealous or trying to get him to talk to me and only me backfired. what you want is to control somebody and well...that doesnt normally work out. and if it DOES work out...that cant be the healthiest of relationships either.

[RayKay]

I have been dating this guy for quite along time now and I really just want to try to make things better like I wanna make him obseesed...I want him to want me more than anything in the world...like when we are making love I wanna know what to do to drive him crazy...I wanna know how to make his only reason for living to be me...I dont want to sound selfish and demanding I just wanna find away to make him go crazy over me...so I can stop getting this feelings that he dosent love me...I want him t feel how I feel about him...

 

To start let me say this - obsession is NOT love.

 

What you are asking for is not a healthy reciprocal love, you are asking for someone to give you something to fill in whatever emptiness you have in yourself. Anytime you ask someone to give up everything so you are their sole source of happiness, you are creating negativity in yourself and them. Healthy, loving relationships are between free-willing, independent, complete people. And you can't MAKE someone feel some way about you in the way you want them too.

 

Love yourself, and learn to realize why you deserve to be loved FREELY by someone for whom you are. Forced love, needy obsessive love is not true love, and is not healthy long term.

 

If you feel you need to force things, or that it is so much work to get same love in return, then maybe this relationship is not the right one for you.

[GettingOverIt]

I agree with RayKay... I have been the 'obessessive' boyfriend before, and let me tell you, when the relationship was over, I was drained physically, emotionally, you name it... It is NOT healthy to be so consumed by someone that they are your only means of 'existence.'

 

Trust me, you would soon tire of it, and then you would wonder why this guy was smothering you all the time, not giving you any breathing room, not leaving you alone. Meanwhile, he is still totally obssessed with you and won't leave you alone for two seconds...

 

You think I am exaggerating, but I know it is the truth. I have been there... I have actually been on both sides (I had gf once that was very O/C over everything I did)....

 

You need someone who loves you for you, who will let you have space, who you will let you have space... Somoeone who wants to be with you 24/7, but who doesn't NEED to be with you 24/7, if that makes sense...

[DN]

I also agree with RayKay.

 

Why do you feel he does not love you?

[blueangel]

You're not going to get that from a guy. They are less expressive and altho we females feel we are the complex and mysterious ones, it is often the guys who leave us in mystery.

 

One of the hardest things I've ever done has been to actually tell my boyfriend what I wanted... which was exactly as you said above. But then he made me realize I was only using him to make me feel better about myself... and so in trying to hold onto that... our love blossomed into a lie. (thankfully I realized it in time to save it because I was becoming so unhappy and feeling unfulfilled- well what am I saying? We broke up a year later)

 

Be warned. (lol)