why doest he want me anymore?

[Katie_xx]

hey everyone, please read on i hope its not to long but i would appreciate any feedback you have to offer!

my ex broke up with me about 2months ago after only being together for around 5months. he said it was because he wasnt ready for a relationship but i could tell for weeks before that he just wasnt all that into me anymore.he had never told me he loved me but my feelings for him were so much stronger. i wanted to spend every minute with him and thought the world of him. how can someone treat a girl so well and be so special to someone and not feel the same?i would have done and given anything to keep him, and i still feel very empty without him. i never wanted anything too serious of course as i am still young but when i was with him things were so perfect and he just seemed like he was made for me and things were just meant to be.

i now feel like im verging on being obsessed and need to get over it! ive been meeting with another guy who i have known for about a year but never given us as a couple a try. although hes a nice enough guy i just dont see the spark i saw with my ex. it doesnt even come close, am i just going to compare every guy i meet to my ex? if so i dont know if ill find anyone whos good enough!

please help if you can!

[mercury25]

I'm a bit older than you, but pretty much in the same situation, even as far as how long I was with him. Was with him from December 22nd til May 9th (just this past Monday). He too was very handsome, intelligent, kind, we got along wonderfully and had great conversations and a lot of tenderness. We were together almost five months, but I could feel him "not being totally there" (although he was still pretty respectful) for two months before the end. I now realize that his calls and attentiveness in that time period wasn't due to passion like it was in the beginning, but really kind of a chore/an obligation. We just broke up on Monday (I broke up, but I feel that technically he did, because he provoked me by saying it might be good if we see other people but still see each other too). I don't know how long it will take me to get over this (I'm up and down right now), but it might be a bit of a while.

 

This isn't my first relationship and I've definitely been here before, so it may not take super-long at all. But right now it does sting, and I definitely miss him, like you miss your guy. I too find myself wondering, "How could he be so good to me in the beginning...and it suddenly drop off for no apparent reason?" It's almost like he purposely distanced himself to the point that we just didn't have much to go on anymore...

 

I too do not see myself finding someone who can compare to him for a while. I'm not saying I *never* will, but he's certainly not someone easy to replace, I know this. You too should give it time. A great guy isn't going to just come along, but be strong and hang in there. Even if it takes several months, a year, or a year and a half, there's always some guy out there who will make you feel that way again, and often times he makes you feel even better. It's almost impossible to fathom while you are still hung-up on someone, but it's true...

 

Right now I am feeling like I want my guy back, so badly. At times I just think or say softly aloud, "I miss you so much...." cause the amt that I miss him is sooo incredibly strong. Like, I just long to hear his voice...

 

The good thing about a breakup in which you were kinda broken up (or on the rocks) even before the break up, is that that time in which you were on the rocks/uncertain/anxious...well, technically that takes away from the amount of time you grieve, because technically you started the grieving process before it ended. I think I got that pre-breakup grieving because as I said, he was not acting as much of a "great boyfriend" for two months beforehand...

 

I miss him.

 

I wish you the best. It is hard, but be strong. Keep yourself busy and remember the good things in life that you enjoy. Do those things...

[Katie_xx]

thankyou for replying, even to hear that theres others out there in the same boat helps to convince me i can get through this.wow its strange to hear all of you with your different stories to tell just like mine. but how do i manage getting over my ex when i still see him all the time, i see him at college, i see him out in town at night, i even work with the guy!and what makes matters worse i dont even want to avoid seeing him because the people i have met during my time with him have now become some of my closest friends and 10 of us (including my ex) have arranged a holiday together which is coming up soon.i still want to see my friends as much as possible but i cant do this without seeing my ex. i even still get along with him when i do see him but what he doesnt see is what hurts the most - I MISS HIM like crazy, he still means so much to me and just because he no longer wants a relationship and he needs his space i just cant have him. how can i love someone so much without them even being the slightest bit interested in me? and how do these men get over relationships so quickly and so easily. im stranded in a world wrapped around him and theres no visible way out. where do i turn? confused? me too but believe me im still trying to work myself out and i guess i should try to complete that task before starting on him!!

[Rainz]

I understand how you feel, my relationship ended quite suddenly, after my who was so in love with me and so into me suddenly distanced himself and shut himself off and it just went down hill. I had tried talking to him intially, and he was saying that he wants to be with me and wants me and I'm the only positive thing in his life. My gut was telling me something else though. That's when things just plummeted. I didn't get any answers or explanations, he had instigated everything in the beginning, was fo full on and we were both talking all the time of how happy and in love we were and then he just literally stopped.

It's pushing 2 months now and I've been doing NC. He's not eeven blinked at me. Much less called. My heart just aches because I just miss him so much. It hurts so much knowing that he could just let it all go without even looking back. I was with him since january but known him prior for 13years.

As what the previous poster said, this guy isn't going to be easy to replace at all either.

How they're able to just switch off and move on is just beyond me. It's like they just move on as though you never even existed. Meanwhile your left dealing with your own heartache.