Too emotional to stop him. What happened?

[Layla]

Hey.

 

On Friday night me and my boyfriend went to a friends party together. I hadn't seen alot of my friends girls and guys that evening and was excited to see them again and was cathching up with everyone and didn't really have much time to spend with my boyfriend. Whilst i was happy and having a good time, whenever i asked my boyfriend to come with me and talk to them he was just like no eff off. I was just like um ok and ignored him because he was just in one of his small moods. When i did go and sit with him he didnt pay much attention to me and was just like oh your back, im surpised you didnt spend the whole night with such and such. It turned out into a petty argument and then he started being really spiteful and calling me an idiot and such and saying i was acting like a prat infront of everyone. I think maybe because he had drunk too much. When he doesnt get his way he always goes into one, and took it out on me becuase he wanted to spend the night with me, and i was with friends alot during the evening instead.

 

He started to make the issue of me catching up with friends instead of being with him a huge deal and it broke out into a big argument. We were standing at the bottom of the stairs and as he got really infuriating i told him that i wasnt going to talk to him until he settled down and pushed him out of the way ready to leave. As i did this he grabbed my wrist as i went to push him, and aggressively pushed me onto the stairs.

 

I just sort of banged onto them and it really hurt. I was shocked at what he had just done and that this was the first time i had witnessed him be drunk and annoyed at the same time. I really didnt like the way he was and thats why i wanted to leave. I began to cry on the steps were id falled and herd people around me asking him what he was doing and what have you done?!! When he saw me upset he came to me and in my ear kept saying he was soo sorry and that he loved me and kept kissing my head. I kept telling him no dont, because i didnt want him to see me soo upset and i didnt want to be around him. He didnt leave me alone because he kept comforting me about what he had did and picked me up and asked people to move out his way and brang me upstairs into one of the rooms.

 

Still crying and upset, he repeatedly kept hushing me and saying i love you and im sorry. I was really upset and he just layed me onto the bed. Still in tears i asked him dont what are you doing and he was just like i love you baby. I was too upset and thinking about what he had just done to realise anything else. He kept saying he loved me and kissed my stomach and pulled my pants and underwear down. I had my hands over my eyes and i was so upset that i just let it happen. I just kept weeping and was like what no Michael dont!!?? He was just like its okay shhh. He was having sex with me and it wasnt at all what i wanted to make me feel better over what he had done.

 

We havnt had sex before and he has brang it up alot about doing it. I wasnt ready and i feel as if he used my emotions for a reason of making it up to me by what he wanted. I think he maybe thought it would bring us closer over what he done but ive made it clear to him before that i wasnt ready. Im really uncomfortable around him and on that evening i was scared.

 

Im confused over what happened.

[busymom]

ok. Well, gosh this is not a good thing. Sounds to me like he has a problem with anger. Anger and alcohol are a very dangerous mix. Seriously, I would end it. i know its a hard thing to decide on but physical abuse does not go away. i grew up watching both my parents get into knock down drag out fights that just progressively got worse as time went on. The one thing that triggered each and every fight? Alcohol.

 

As to the second part. You told him no? He went ahead and did it anyway? That smacks of total disrespect of your feelings and wants and needs. Not only that, but where I live when someone says no it means no. And if the issue is pushed then it becomes rape. Sorry, but thats the way I see it. Are you sure that you want to be in a relationship like that? You are to young to be going through stuff like this. Get out of that relationship. Enjoy being a child because It does not last long

[IcyGirl]

He raped you.

 

Get out girl, while you still can, tell someone your close to how you feel, and maybe if you are able, tell the authorities and your parents as well. You need to protect yourself from this man and stay far away from him. He doesn't love you, he RAPED you, when you already down and out he took advantage of you, he is lower than scum to do that.

 

So get out NOW! Leave him, he is abusive and will do it again.

 

This is a horrible situation and I wish you all the luck in the world

Sincerely, Icy

 

P.S. PM me, or add me on msn and I'll help you understand more.

[RandomAdvisor]

Whoa. This is serious.

 

I agree 100% with IcyGirl. He raped you.

 

You're probably having a lot of mixed feelings because he is your boyfriend, but that doesn't change the fact that he sexually assaulted you. This is obviously hurting you right now, and you must feel like there is no one you know in person you can tell - which is why you came here. You have to tell someone though! If you just try to ignore and forget it, it'll only get worse.

 

I also suggest you tell your parents.

[alonegirl]

Layla,

 

Speaking from experience GET OUT NOW. I was in a abusive relationship for 2 years. I remember the first time he got physical with me like it was yesterday, and after he had done it he did exactly what you're boyfriend did, "Oh baby I am so sorry, I didn't mean it, I love you, I love you, it will never happen again" So I stayed thinking thigs will get better, let me tell you they will only get worse. He has now done it once and it will become a natural reaction to him everytime you guys fight. I didn't want to listen to anybody tell me what was really going on and what he was doing me, but let me tell you there was one day that he beat the s**t out of me like I was a man, it was that day a day I almost died that I finally realized what was going on and that I needed to get out.

 

As for the other thing he did that is rape. He totally took advantage of your emotional state at the time. If you said no to him then that is rape.

 

If you ever want to PM you can, I just wanted to give you a little advise from someone that has gone through it.

[grinand bearit]

DITTO...DITTO...DITTO!

 

IT WILL GET WORSE AND THE "I'M SOOO SORRY" WILL STOP.

 

CUT YOUR LOSSES.

 

Grin