Can't think of a title to describe my situation but plz help

[rosierizzle]

I've been really down recently and I don't have anyone to talk to about it. My friends would just deny it and my family wouldn't help for other reasons.

 

I have a sister who is 15 (2 years older than me) and we get on really well. She is really fun and interesting to be around and I enjoy her company. A few days ago I overheard someone talking about me and my sister and saying how different we are (which is true) and I heard them say that *sister* was much more interesting and exciting than me. They said that I was really boring to talk to and that *sister* had a much more bright, cool personality.

 

Normally people talking about me behind my back doesn't bother me but that really hit home. It made me really upset because I've always felt that way to. Everyone notices it and they all find me really boring.

 

One of my friends has really hurt me the last couple of days (unintenionally) by when given the option of talking to her best friend (me) or my sister on the bus she turns around and talks to my sister.

 

My sister is really confident and loads of people like her and I can't help feeling that they prefer her to me...

 

What can I do to seem more interesting? Why doesn't anyone want to be with me? At my last school I used to be really quiet and shy but since coming to secondary school I've been much less so, however this problem is starting to send me back to my old self.

 

Please help. All advice is appreciated.

 

Rosie Rizzle

[sisterlynch]

People may disagree about this, but the way that you present yourself to the world is an act. Pure and simple. If you don't like the results, change your reactions to the events.

 

This may sound wrong, but it will help if you realize that the people around you most likely do not want to make you feel better.

 

We live in a highly competitive society, and you can't go around making others happy all the time, because in essance you are losing your own sense of self when are doing this.

 

Make choices that don't involve her, make your own friends.

[rosierizzle]

I've made my own friends I have about five really close ones but they all seem to like her more.

[sisterlynch]

I think that you are feeling put down and searching for answers that are not easily available. What do you want in life? What are some of your hobbies?

 

In the future, you will realize that being popular isn't the most important thing to do, be you.

[rosierizzle]

thanks! your last post made me think about stuff and i've seen things in a different light. your advice has really helped!

[busymom]

I think it's very important to be yourself.. There are always going to be people that don't like you. It's unfortunate but true. Instead of trying to be someone that your not just be you. There are people out there that will like you for you! You just have to find them. It's not always easy but it does happen and when you do find that person you will have that much better of a friendship with them.

 

I was like this in school as well. Many people did not understand me and just didn't know what I was all about. The way that I look at it is it is their loss for not trying to get to know the real ME.

 

Be confident in who you are! If you put on an act trying to be someone that your not it will eventually get out anyway. I tell my kids all the time. If they don't like you for who you are then they are not your friends. I know that sounds like a typical thing for a mom to say but think about it for a few minutes honestly and realize it's the truth. I have a 13 year old and 14 year old that are as different as night and day. I tell them to find their own niche and stick with it. It's who they are and its so imortant to be who you are and what you want to be rather than who someone else wants you to be...

 

Be happy

[rosierizzle]

that is absolutely fab advice. i've realised that if people don't like me for who i am then they are not my friends, if they want me to be some one else (more like my sister) then i should find other friends. right?

 

thanks anyway. it's really helped

[providentielle]

The fact that you have felt like this for some time has made this overheard comment affect you. As you said, this wouldn't normally be something that you would take to heart but because it was something you felt insecure about it affected you more. I can bet that not everyone feels that way, it will often just be your perception and how you feel. Your friends are your friends and I am sure they would be upset if they realised how you felt. They may just have been being friendly, I often talk to my friends family, I feel I know them better through knowing their family and it is really nice for everyone to get on and I like to be able to share stories and be close to people who also care about the people I care about. Try to remember that they probably dont all feel this way, put it to the back of your mind and enjoy your frienships and your relationship with your sister. Good luck

[rosierizzle]

thank you to everyone who has posted advice especially busymom and providentielle - you've been a great help

[DN]

I noticed you had taken your pic down after receiving advice from people. But I can tell you this: you look like a very attractive girl and I am fairly sure that in a year or two you won't be complaining about lack of attention. That will help your self-confidence no end.

[rosierizzle]

thank you! you are the first person who has ever said that to me! The sad thing is that the first person to ever tell me I was a 'very attractive girl' was someone giving me advice over the internet! lol!

[DN]

Yeah, well don't worry - soon you'll have to fight 'em off with a stick!!